Woman I've been seeing meets criteria on my list but I'm having a hard time "feeling it" with her. Should I just ignore that?

pubbr wrote:

“Meets criteria on my list” is so Letsrun dating vernacular.

Ignore feelings? wrote:

pubbr wrote:

“Meets criteria on my list” is so Letsrun dating vernacular.

In this case the list is what's keeping me having any level of interest. It feels like objectively my reasons to date her are better than my "muh feelings" reasons not to, but it's hard for me to actually want that

pubbr wrote:

Ignore feelings? wrote:

In this case the list is what's keeping me having any level of interest. It feels like objectively my reasons to date her are better than my "muh feelings" reasons not to, but it's hard for me to actually want that

Yeah you sound like a normal LRC robot with criteria lists who sucks at dating. That was my point. You boil everything down to checking boxes.

Ignore feelings? wrote:

pubbr wrote:

Yeah you sound like a normal LRC robot with criteria lists who sucks at dating. That was my point. You boil everything down to checking boxes.

Yes, I suck at dating. Would someone who doesn't just move on if he isn't feeling it?

Ignore feelings? wrote:

Objectively she looks good, and I've had a fun enough time going out with her, and values match well, but I'm really struggling to "feel it" for some reason. She used to live close and now lives 4 hours away, which makes it harder to keep feeling it out. Objectively speaking if we had an arranged marriage system and I was arranged to marry her it wouldn't be bad at all, but for one reason or another I'm not feeling super into her. Should I just ignore my feelings and pursue a relationship anyway? I think I'm holding things back more than her at this point. I honestly hate my stupid feelings, at this point, but that's where I am.

get a clue bro wrote:

Ignore feelings? wrote:

Objectively she looks good, and I've had a fun enough time going out with her, and values match well, but I'm really struggling to "feel it" for some reason. She used to live close and now lives 4 hours away, which makes it harder to keep feeling it out. Objectively speaking if we had an arranged marriage system and I was arranged to marry her it wouldn't be bad at all, but for one reason or another I'm not feeling super into her. Should I just ignore my feelings and pursue a relationship anyway? I think I'm holding things back more than her at this point. I honestly hate my stupid feelings, at this point, but that's where I am.

She moved to get away from you.

Ignore feelings? wrote:

Objectively she looks good, and I've had a fun enough time going out with her, and values match well, but I'm really struggling to "feel it" for some reason. She used to live close and now lives 4 hours away, which makes it harder to keep feeling it out. Objectively speaking if we had an arranged marriage system and I was arranged to marry her it wouldn't be bad at all, but for one reason or another I'm not feeling super into her. Should I just ignore my feelings and pursue a relationship anyway? I think I'm holding things back more than her at this point. I honestly hate my stupid feelings, at this point, but that's where I am.

Ignore feelings? wrote:

pubbr wrote:

“Meets criteria on my list” is so Letsrun dating vernacular.

In this case the list is what's keeping me having any level of interest. It feels like objectively my reasons to date her are better than my "muh feelings" reasons not to, but it's hard for me to actually want that

lolio wrote:

Ignore feelings? wrote:

In this case the list is what's keeping me having any level of interest. It feels like objectively my reasons to date her are better than my "muh feelings" reasons not to, but it's hard for me to actually want that

have you considered that your list might not be what you actually want?

POW wrote:

Your feelings are a way your subconscious communicates with your conscious mind. Doing ignore it, but that doesn’t mean move on either. Understand the patterns of when you have been feeling it the past and what is different vs now then you can figure next steps. Perhaps you think you doing deserve to be happy and therefore are torpedoing it. Maybe you are comparing her to something that isn’t real. Maybe she isn’t the one. Find out why your subconscious is telling you no.