Lets talk about mental health.

regarding your first point, are you projecting? Because I’ve had that thought about others. I think it’s normal. Not everyone shares the same interests as you, and if they do, their personalities may clash with yours. Thats why “best friends” are difficult to come by. Even when you and your acquaintances are motivated by a single goal, you’re all really just using another to achieve the desired result.

about your second point: it’s probably an effect of being a type A, goal-oriented person. Running has a lot of these types, because the sport itself is judged using times - the most transparent critic of all. I don’t think it’s a bad trait to have - it can be beneficial to your life when you carry it over to other activities. If you didn’t care about improving yourself, you’d eventually settle for being a drug-addict loser. I’d ask you to embrace the struggle of always finding ways to improve, but don’t let the stress of falling short negatively impact you.

Are you in high school or something? Probably college, am I right?

I suggest therapy but I'll try to help speed you along. Try thinking "not everyone has to like me" on a regular basis

Your feeling is absolutely right. Hold on to it.

Freshly graduated, with a job and newborn on the way, so I do have alot of positives in my life, but like I said, struggling frequently.

Just get pissed it solves all problems

Do you like most of the people in your social ambit? Do you actively 'like' them as individual persons? Or do you consider most of them mere acquaintances?

In my life, I have never had more than 2-3 close friends at any one time. Sometimes none. Almost everyone I know is 'just an acquaintance'.

I am and always have been aware of this, and comfortable with it. I don't even think it's that unusual.

You're probably normal.

These are kinda good problems to have. Once you get a taste of real stress, you’re not gonna worry about the things you mentioned in your original post

Yeah, I'd say the first point is true. It's subtle, but once you see the pattern of behavior that most others exhibit socially, you can't unsee it. Most people, consciously or unconsciously, objectify other people in some way. Friends and acquaintances are generally kept for entertainment, group security, status, networking, etc. Romantic partners are often vehicles for romantic fantasy, sexual gratification, family formation, material wealth, status, etc. I think most people have some awareness of this but live in denial. It's not just that the truth is painful, it's because it would set them on a journey into the unknown which is living life in the aftermath of a painful realization.

As for the second, this is often a thought pattern that leads to a pretty depressed state. It's the byproduct of certain beliefs that guide your behavior, i.e. your thinking with regard to achievement and a general sense of "what's the point of all of this?".

Therapy such as CBT or ACT coupled with mindfulness practices (mindfulness is really just secular Buddhism) are what helped me with the types of struggles you're describing. It's not a quick fix or overnight thing, but it definitely brings significant relief and a transformed world view if you put the work in.

As an example, to your first point, I lost most of my friends during the pandemic. I remember not too long ago, I felt pretty bad about that. But through some therapeutic insight/mindfulness practice (lots of overlap, honestly) I reached a place of peace and acceptance around the life changes. It also changed how I interact with others... I listen a lot more and accept people and situations much more than I did in the past. Last week during a work luncheon, I was seated next to someone most would consider "fake"... lots of forced small talk and fake laughing. I just listened to her and asked sincere, genuine questions when appropriate. This woman did probably 80-90% of the talking and I think she found me boring, but by the end of the luncheon I noticed that her tone dropped to a normal vocal register, her comments were becoming more authentic, and she seemed more at ease just sitting next to me sharing a moment. Without labeling her, myself, or the situation as good or bad, I believe we connected in the sense that we simply coexisted alongside each other in the present for a duration of time and that in itself was enough.

I'm probably sounding a bit woo woo here, but all this to say that you can use what you're experiencing as an opportunity to do some work to grow a bit more mentally and emotionally.

You should read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It is about a man who drives himself crazy seeking an unattainable sense of quality. What he ultimately realizes is that life is not defined by the final destination, but by the journey. Running isn’t about the races you win, your PRs or any of that nonsense. It is about the people you meet along the way who become lifelong friends, the experience of running through beautiful surroundings while wholly experiencing each new location along the way. As you become a father, focus less on the day to day stresses and try to enjoy being able to have a positive influence on your child’s life. Children are a gift if you treat them as such. Life is defined by how you approach it.