I want my daughter to be a fast runner she has the natural talent and genetics but has other interest and my ex doesn't want her

Show her L&L on youtube

If she likes dance and isn't interested in running let her dance and encourage her in dance. She'll remember fondly you encouraging what she is interested in not what you want.

She is too young to run. High school is a good time to start.

Bad for your ex to discourage it but also not good parenting for you to try to force your child to like something. You can't control their passions no matter how much talent they have. Let kids do what they want. Dance is a sport that requires pretty early specialization, but fortunately running does not and is a lifetime sport. If it's meant to be, she'll find running or running will find her one way or another.

The best thing you can do as a parent for your kid's athletic goals is to teach, and to positively role model, setting goals and working towards them with focus. That way she will be successful and have fun in whatever she pursues.

Sounds like you want to add failed parenting to your failed marriage.

All you can do is keep encouraging her to go out for cross country to see if she likes it and to make new friends. But, she’s in 6th grade, yes? That’s way too young to worry about what kind of runner she may or may not be. Not that you are pressuring her, but she needs to find and fall in love with the sport on her own. If dance is important to her, then support that and attend her practices, as well as recitals.

My oldest daughter was a soccer player/dancer all through elementary and middle school. I knew she would be a great runner, but, when she asked us if she could run middle school xc, we said no, because she had a full plate, and she did. Fast forward to freshman year in high school, and she gives up dance right after she gets her pointe shoes and goes out for xc, having immediate success while still playing soccer.

Also, dancers make great jumpers and/or hurdlers. Just something to think about. Encourage her, don’t ever push her or she will resent you for it.

Settle down, Gjert. Let's see how this trial play out.

She entered a few races and has done fantastic. She told me she likes to win and that is it. I would love to see her run in a Jr high setting not some local road race. She told me she would try it next year for me, but as long as she can dance. I have seen her dance at some performances she has been in and she isn't very good. I didn't tell her, but it's the truth. My ex and her family thinks running is bad and tells her not to do it. They discourage it and have brainwashed her not to like it.

Yes 6th grade. Her school doesn't offer track or cross country till 7th grade.

When you say your ex discourages it, what do you mean exactly? Is she actively stopping your child from running, or is she saying, " look, our daughter doesn't really like to run, so I'm not going to push it."?

Being good at running doesn't mean she should do it, and if you force it on her, like make her run when she's at your house and she doesn't feel like she has a choice or just wants to please you, she's going to resent you and hate it.

You mentioned she's good at running. Is she good at dance? Because if she loves to dance and she's good at it, she should pursue that. Girls who love dance live and die for it, it's a serious passion and a serious world. If she wants to be a part of it, she should. She'll make great friends and have great memories. If I were a parent of a dancer, I'd attend her recitals and competitions and be proud. I'd be grateful and fascinated that my child introduced me to this incredible new world, rather than try to push them into mine.

She won't be a professional runner or get a college scholarship. Doing what you enjoy is what matters.

No one who isn't interested in running will ever be that good at it. Encourage her to do it if she wants to and be supportive, but don't force it.

Sue for full custody and child support.

Also, maybe let her hit puberty and see how things play out (in terms of body type)? Sometimes nature has a way of resolving things.

It’s telling that you say you want her to be a fast runner rather just that you want her to go out for XC in the fall.

All your comments are about what you want.

Especially for girls, the body changes after puberty are so substantial that running results at 12 are not particularly meaningful indicators of success in running after 16. The interest in the sport is way more important: if she does not care about running, let her dance.

As others pointed out, early specialization in running is not necessary and many would say that it is detrimental. Most of the best runners have played other sports until college age. If she keeps fit and active, she can always switch to running later in life shall she get interested in it.

It must suck when a running community sides with your-non runner ex.

It's one thing if your daughter really likes to run but your ex is really throwing up resistance because, well, who knows? Maybe because she knows you'd love it if your daughter ran sort of seriously and reckons you and your daughter will grow closer if she runs. That happened in my family with hockey. My nephew was a good youth player. His dad was totally into hockey, played in an adult league, and was at pretty much all of his son's hockey events. It was their best bonding thing. My sister made it as difficult as possible for this to happen after the divorce. Eventually my nephew gave up hockey completely, contact with his dad dropped way off with plenty of encouragement from my sister, and my nephew's life started on a serious downward spiral that lasted for maybe fifteen years.

If you think your ex is discouraging your daughter from running because it would make her closer to you, if you believe your wife is discouraging your daughter from running as a weapon against you and you're convinced your daughter really wants to run more seriously you should do what you can to make it possible for her to run more. Without knowing anything about specifics I don't have much in the line of suggestions as to how to make this happen.

On the other hand, if your daughter is really showing only casual interest in running at best, if the only reason she'd go out for cross country is because you want her to, I'd say to let her alone and do things that she wants to do. Even if she's not showing interest in running now that can change and if it doesn't that's fine. Find other ways to be close with her.

Both of my sons ran seriously in high school and college and still run seriously in their late twenties and early thirties. At twelve the younger one wanted no part of being a distance runner. I never pushed the sport with either of them. But they saw me run every day. They saw me come back from races showing occasional signs of satisfaction. I'm sure I influenced them but becoming runners was never a goal of mine. In your situation the decision to go out for cross country or not should be her decsion alone.