I don't really know what to say on this. I started track 3 years ago in middle school. I got a 2nd degree burn on my arm and hand, which prevented me from participating in my first season (can't sweat because of risk of infection, can't be in the sun because of risk of further burn) Ever since then, it has been my goal to "redeem myself". Freshman year of high school was my second year of track, but my first competing season. I did okay, I got average times for my state. But I wasn't anything special (around 15-16 seconds in the 100, 32 seconds in the 200 which again are average competing in my district) Now I am wrapping up sophomore year, and I have successfully cut 1.5 seconds off my 200, and 1.52 seconds in the 100. Which I feel okay about, but I'll get more into that in a second. Having a 100 in the 14 second range puts me in a good competitive spot, I'm at the top of JV but bottom of Varsity. I also got put into JV relays because of the improvement in my speed, which I also run around the same speed (might not be relevant, but for me it is because had I done it last year I would've been gassed and not competed the consistent speeds I am now)
Now for my frustration. I live in Idaho where preseason outside is kind of difficult because I'm running in the rain, snow, wind, etc. But I did it anyways. I also weightlift 4-5 days a week, and I've done that consistently for about 8 months. I know dropping 1.5 seconds in both events is something I can and should be proud of, but it's eating up at me. I want to be better. My goal is to get under 13 seconds in the 100 (like around 12.9 which would put me at top 3 in my district, and 1st on my team) and around 28 seconds in the 200 (which would set me up at top 15 in the district, and like top 3 on my team). I guess I'm just really really frustrated that I've been doing so much work and the only thing I have to say for it is "I dropped 1.5 seconds in every event" And I'm just so mad because I want to be varsity and I want to go to districts and to state but I'm STILL not good enough despite very literally putting in blood, sweat, and tears. I have a bruised tailbone, shin splints, knee pain, foot pain, everything hurts on my lower body haha. But every single day I still push through. I'm just frustrated because I feel like I'm not reaching the level I want to be at and I don't know what to do. I literally give this sport my all because I freaking LOVE track but it's so hard to push yourself through everything that I am when nothing ever seems to be good enough. I feel like I'm doubting myself and I know that I shouldn't. I know that I am working harder than anyone else on that track, so why am I not competing at the level I want to be? Is it a plateau?? I have no idea. Some days I get so frustrated and recently I've wanted to quit. But I won't.
Am I shortsighted? I want to go to college for track, and also my family wants to move to a state that's VERY competitive at track too. So maybe I'm just psyching myself out? Am I just impatient? I really don't know, but it's frustrating.
Okay now I feel like I've been negative so I'll be positive for 2 seconds. I am SO excited for next season, and I feel so ready to continue putting in the work and I'm so ready to finally see the results I want. And I love track with all of my heart. And I'm very proud of how much work I've put in this year, and how much better I've gotten as a competitor. I'm just looking for advice, workouts, techniques, anything to help me fight this mental battle so I can freaking get where I want. Thank you to anyone who sees this and takes the time to respond because I know I wrote a lot.