I Don’t Fit in With Runners

Well, if you're in a running group, no surprise training and fitness are going to be some of the most common topics. Maybe just ask some questions about them to get to know them a bit better, and they'll do the same for you. Might end up having more in common than you think

Most good company including friends and family, is about shared interests. If you don't find running with people and sharing running with them fulfilling, learn some new tricks and try different people. Snobs will always be snobs and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

I usually run by myself and enjoy it. if you are looking for comradery, check out low key running events and clubs. Keep your head up.

It’s actually great when the topic is on running. I love nerding out over the pro scene…it gets weird when it feels like the only interest they have in me as a person is my training/racing.

It’s hard to engage in group convo (outside of run talk) because they’re super cliqued up and tight knit. It’s also difficult to keep up because they mostly talk about things I’ve never experienced and likely never will (loads of traveling, vacations, sightseeing, etc)

They’re just being nice to you by keeping the talk about running. As you said, you don’t really have much in common.

Ask them about their political views.

They’re very left. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but they tend to be very judgmental towards anyone right leaning or even moderately neutral. Not big on politics myself, as I don’t see any benefit. I do recall their rather harsh response years ago when I said I didn’t care for or trust Hillary Clinton.

And what interest do you have in them? You sound like you want people to engage you on your preferred topics and interest, well that’s pretty selfish. If you want to win friends “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.”.

You don’t have to have experience traveling, ask better and deeper questions about why they love traveling or what was there favorite part of the trip and why.

What city are y’all located?

That’s fair, but to add more context, I’ve been around on/off for several years. I’m aware that we have little in common as far as trivial topics, politics, etc, but I do ask how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to. It’s just hardly reciprocated outside of my training/racing.

I relate completely. My upbringing was not bad but it certainly wasn't good. I feel the same about the running group where I'm from. They are nothing like me. I am extremely disciplined, never skipping a beat, and I do it all alone. I spend A LOT of time alone, and I always have. I think that is what makes us who we are. We have spent so much time being alone and in introspective thought that we have become indifferent to the average man/woman. I love books about revolution, atrocity, philosophy, but it is very hard to find others interested in those topics. Most do not possess the ability or simply will never be interested enough to think on such a deep level.

I began to really notice my indifference when I went to college. I had spent 2 years working in the meat shop of a grocery store with hateful old men. I had also seen immense poverty, people who were holding on by a thread, doomed children, gangsters, elderly with no hope. At college everyone was so happy and carefree, a complete contrast to my environment at home. But when I was at college I had friends who had the same interests. My best friend on the XC team would love to listen to me ramble about whatever book I was reading or whatever idea or philosophy popped into my head while on a run. That always made me happy.

Now I continue to expand my knowledge and search deeper into peoples soul. I realize that I am destined to be a questioner, a born revolutionary. I watch peoples reaction, I take note of how they think, I ponder endlessly. I imagine you keep a close circle. Find those who value your intellect and in turn value theirs.

Somewhat relatable. I'm the only person I know who runs. Have never been on a team or around runners. Don't care to be. Played a different sport in college. Running almost seemingly could take place in my head if it weren't for my daily run. Like that snow globe in Saint Elsewhere.

Judging by this thread I'm not surprised. What a bore.

You and a couple of the other posters seems pretty impressed with yourselves for your individualism. Perhaps your self-absorbence is the issue and not other people's liberalism or whatever.

tldr - you kind of suck, and people are just being nice to you because they don't like you

This is kinda what I was hoping to hear. Brutal honesty. Much respect to ya :)

Sounds like a "YOU" problem.

Might be depression kicking in. Everything felt like it was going well, then gradually went to sh!t. Financial situation is less than ideal, can’t afford therapy, family/friends are too busy to be bothered (which I understand…we’re adults), and things at work are kinda rough. I’m usually not one to post this sort of issue on a message board, but felt like I had nowhere else to go. Running is a huge passion and I love sharing it with others…just having a hard time understanding why there’s a strong disconnect.

Coming off as self-absorbed has been an issue in the past, but I truly mean well and think of others A LOT. Making connections and saying the right thing in person tends to be a bit more difficult. Maybe it’s a disparity in education, or struggles with being more introverted and shy.

It could also mean that we simply don’t click well. I tend to have little to no trouble connecting with others in my line of work, but the lifestyle that comes with it is very destructive and no longer wish to take part in it.

Finding a place of belonging has always been difficult, and quite frankly, it’s exhausting always having to do everything alone. I’m trying, y’all.

Is this really surprising? At work related networking events, there are some that I have more connection points than others, and it forms a kind of velcro and it/we stick. There are others that I have known for years, and yet we only have 1-3 common talking points, and after that, we're looking to see who else is around to engage with. Sounds like expanding your circle is in order, with the realization that if you get a 1:10 or 1:20 connection point, then you have found success.

Hope things are looking up for you. I will say, Ican't stand95% of running clubs and their culture. I love to talk running and training and gear, that's not the problem.It's more that most of these clubs are just, idk, yuppie social clubs that run. I say this as a young white guy with a fancy office job myself. But at these clubs the bonding doesn't feel like it comes from running, or any shared interest at all, it comes from the shared social class.

The problem I have with running clubs and races is a hierarchy develops and it gets annoying really quickly.