How the hell can a wife have a claim on your retirement, which you will not collect for years if not decades beyond your divorce? How the hell is that just? Maybe I am just ignorant of family courts.
You have to list out all assets, retirement accounts, properties you own (or co-own) in a sworn financial statement for the courts
Well, that sucks. Your retirement account is usually related to your work, which really should have nothing at all to do with your spouse.
How the hell can a wife have a claim on your retirement, which you will not collect for years if not decades beyond your divorce? How the hell is that just? Maybe I am just ignorant of family courts.
Depends. Any funds in a retirement account prior to the marriage are yours and can't be touched in a divorce. As far as money earned in retirement accounts during the marriage, it depends on if it is a community property state. If it is then it all needs to be worked out in the settlement. Retirement accounts and all other benefits are typically set up as a QDRO and have the same tax withdrawal rules as a retirement account.
If the OP has a good divorce lawyer they should be able to advice him on this. He doesn't need a separate estate attorney. Otherwise, what is he paying the divorce lawyer for?
You have to list out all assets, retirement accounts, properties you own (or co-own) in a sworn financial statement for the courts
Well, that sucks. Your retirement account is usually related to your work, which really should have nothing at all to do with your spouse.
Family court is as much theater and is it facts. One is judged on demeanor in courtroom and demeanor as reported by others.
In the real world, in civil court outside of family court, if a plaintiff tried to obtain assets in your 401K, it would not occur. Family court CAN seize property in same county of family court. Family court CAN take minor children away from (usually) a man.
Family court may order either side to turn over medical records. What if you don't? Family court may order either side to maintain x dollars of life insurance. What if you don't? There are income sources family court cannot touch. Family court may order one side or the other to pay alimony &/or child support from untouchable money. What if you don't? Seize real estate and/or take kids.
If she is a high earning Dr, and you make 40-50 whatever a year, sue for spousal support. Women do it all the time. You are entitled to half of her 401K, retirement, etc... unless you signed a prenup. Just tell her you want the house signed into your name, and you won't go after all of the above things.
I know this because I was married to a psychiatrist, and when I filed for divorce from her I told her all I wanted was the house and she pushed back. So I hired a Male specific divorce attorney and we dug into her assets, retirement, investments, etc... And especially spousal support. Her income allowed me to live in a certain manner for 10yrs, and divorcing would prevent that lifestyle from continuing. So when it turned into her having to cut me a 6k a month check for 3 years plus half of her assets. She signed it right over
You have to list out all assets, retirement accounts, properties you own (or co-own) in a sworn financial statement for the courts
Well, that sucks. Your retirement account is usually related to your work, which really should have nothing at all to do with your spouse.
But suppose one spouse (male or female) took a leave from their career to stay home and raise the kids - forgoing the salary they would have earned during that period. And suppose both parties were in agreement with this arrangent? Is the stay-at-home spouse entitled to nothing? Are they entitled to half? That's why it's best to have all this in writing in a prenup before tieing the knot.
If you can work this out, you both agree to wait until July 15 or possibly sooner if the court approves the NAR settlement( look it up). Then you put house up paying 2.5-3% broker commission, not 5-6%. In the meantime, since you both benefit, you split the mortgage and insurance and you pay the normal operating expenses. You need to sell the house and move on. Use up your savings for this knowing that you will save big money on broker commission.
Keep in mind that all accounts are split equally, including retirement accounts. You also may be eligible for alimony.
I don’t care if it’s your dream home. Just get out of it and move on. You will be much better off in the long run(pun intended) with your overall health.
Good luck
That's not how I interpreted the NAR stuff. I interpreted it as you no longer have to pay exactly a fixed amount as the buyer based on what the seller has negotiated. The seller still "pays" the buyers agent, but just can't dictate the fees.
Why would he have to let it go? I kept my home after a divorce.
Because it doesn't sound like he is in a financial position to buy out his ex and make the mortgage payments.
My ex is also a physician and I let her keep the house. With the money I received from her buying me out I had around $250K for a down payment on a new home. And without dealing with emotional baggage and memories. To the OP, if you meet someone new do you really want them staying in the same house you lived in with your ex? I don't your situation, but sometimes a clean break makes it easier to start over.
If she is a high earning Dr, and you make 40-50 whatever a year, sue for spousal support. Women do it all the time. You are entitled to half of her 401K, retirement, etc... unless you signed a prenup. Just tell her you want the house signed into your name, and you won't go after all of the above things.
I know this because I was married to a psychiatrist, and when I filed for divorce from her I told her all I wanted was the house and she pushed back. So I hired a Male specific divorce attorney and we dug into her assets, retirement, investments, etc... And especially spousal support. Her income allowed me to live in a certain manner for 10yrs, and divorcing would prevent that lifestyle from continuing. So when it turned into her having to cut me a 6k a month check for 3 years plus half of her assets. She signed it right over
Similar situation ….if the higher earning spouse does not want the house anyway, but just wants a portion of the equity in it, you should just be able to negotiate for having the house signed over to you with a quit claim deed and in return then not expecting any alimony or portion of retirement funds from the spouse
If you can work this out, you both agree to wait until July 15 or possibly sooner if the court approves the NAR settlement( look it up). Then you put house up paying 2.5-3% broker commission, not 5-6%. In the meantime, since you both benefit, you split the mortgage and insurance and you pay the normal operating expenses. You need to sell the house and move on. Use up your savings for this knowing that you will save big money on broker commission.
Keep in mind that all accounts are split equally, including retirement accounts. You also may be eligible for alimony.
I don’t care if it’s your dream home. Just get out of it and move on. You will be much better off in the long run(pun intended) with your overall health.
Good luck
All accounts are not split equally.. that is just not true… total BS…talk to an estate attorney immediately . I did before I decided to get a divorce & it Saved me a lot of money because I got a good deal. I owned my house before I got married and spouses salary was different than my salary. Retirement accounts were separate amounts. It was far from 50% split. The picture is complicated and it varies state to state which is why you need to talk to an estate attorney
In the state of my divorce, if the marriage was considered long-term (10 years or more) our retirement accounts were “equalized” meaning 50/50.
if you have a brain, you can easily look this stuff up on your own without an estate attorney.
We both spent 10’s of thousands of dollars on attorneys and we finally fired them and went pro se with the same results.