OP, you’re not alone. Covid was probably the most globally traumatic event since WW II and/or Hiroshima/Nagasaki. I don’t think we have grappled with it enough as a culture, e.g. how many TV shows and movies from lately just pretend it didn’t happen (just like Friends did with 9/11?)
personally I’m still hoping for a truth and reconciliation committee for all the many ways that the US took a bad situation and made it worse. I think our public health officials all basically assumed that the mental health consequences of 2 years of lockdowns were minimal compared to the benefits of slowing the spread, because they are the kind of people for whom many days alone with their computer wouldn’t seem like a punishment. I think that was the wrong judgment ex ante, but just as importantly, I don’t think it worked. A combination of widespread rapid testing, accelerated vaccine development, and targeted quarantines would have gotten the job done much better. And I don’t think we are going to heal from the experience, or do much better next time, if we can’t look at those facts dead on.
Point is OP, the whole experience sucked and in many ways left us worse off in the long-term. So if that was traumatic for you in ways you’re still processing, that seems totally normal and OK to me. But I’m still sorry you’re going through it.