How do you personally let go of "baggage" in your life? Asking for advice

Have a child!

Would writing a letter help? I would write a letter I don't send. You don't need these people's affirmations of what you have experienced and felt.

And then realize you have no control over other people, barely yourself so let it go and move on.

You are young and will replace these unpleasant memories with better ones.

Just let everything go…. Move on with your life in a positive direction:)

I’m probably around your age, I feel this 100%. Probably a hot take around here, but finding Jesus on my own (think more of a personal relationship with God vs. religion) has grounded me with this very topic so much. Faith requires patience of course, but knowing that I can have trust that something (call it God or fate or whatever really) is in control and things are brought up to teach us and make us better overall has helped me a ton.

I have found myself being an anxious control freak, but surrendering that control and having faith that something good has a great plan for you is perhaps something to consider

I would give myself a set amount of time, say 30 minutes, to reflect about all the stuff. Then, I would resolve to choose to let it go. You might still remember some of it, of course, but choose to no longer let it bother you because you're done with all that. This can be easier said than done when the things are particularly painful, but rest assured that the other people that you feel wronged by do not think about it ever and are not bothered by any of it in the least bit. Unless, you will have an ongoing frequent relationship with one of the other parties, I would not bring it up to hash it out because it is likely that not much would be gained.

Mindfulness. Check out Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. Truly life changing things come from the practice of mindfulness.

I’m an atheist, but I like the sentiments expressed in the serenity prayer at times like yours.

Just give it time. As long as it isn't interfering with your daily life, work, relationships, etc., the bad stuff that happened will fade away with time. While I am generally supportive of therapy and mental health professionals, I also think that above all else, you just have to keep moving forward and let time heal your wounds. I have had big career failures, broken relationships, divorced parents and other big blow ups in my life. Every time, the one thing that got me through it all was to just keep moving forward.

This question is a good start. Realize that you’ve got way more life ahead of you than behind you. Focus on the future, the past is past.

Regarding your bitterness towards certain people, confront them if you want to. It could be cathartic. However, understand that you’re only doing it for yourself. Don’t expect an apology or closure of any sort from anyone.

It's important to learn from this.

Eventually, you'll get over it. Who knows? Maybe you could help other people through a similar situation one day (like a child, a niece, a nephew, whoever is a stand out athlete in your circle). You'll get over it and become a more compassionate and understanding person, and hopefully you'll eventually gain some wisdom/insight into the situation. It's hard when the situation's still "fresh" though, like only a year ago. Just go out and live your life and have fun, try not to dwell on negative things and you'll eventually *gain some insight* into your situation.

Btw, I kind of think coming to the Lets Run Forum helps me process my college running situation LOL. To each their own though; maybe for you, you need to avoid Lets Run Forum and find another hobby.

How do you know it’s Jesus you’ve found and not a daemon? You can’t be sure, right?

Check its PPID. If 1, then you've probably found a daemon.

Wrong daemon. I mean glowing eyes, spinning heads and projectile vomiting.

Pazuzu.

I go spartan/ monk/ hole.

I become the best part of me and then improve. work tail off. strict diet. no fun. all work. laser focused. only time off is meditating and reading.

force urself to take new opportunity- make more coin.

Baggage evaporates in due time.

I am truly sorry you are in this situation and feeling this way. It is a huge step to talk about your situation in an effort to find a resolution to the feelings caused by some of the events lately in your life.

I am sure there are many peers around you that may feel the same way or have been in similar situations. I know many people your age that very well could have written your post. What I mean by that is you are not alone in feeling that way. Some people find resolving issues more difficult simply because communicating is more difficult, and may not come naturally. And some don’t attempt to resolve they just move on thinking it will just get better.

As an athlete disappointment comes with the territory. What makes it more difficult is when we are unable to manage it, think injury or more specifically in your case Covid-19. Many athletes had hoped of a successful or even a regular season only to be sidelined by an unforeseen incident such as Covid-19. What follows is disappointment, because we are unable to manage the situation. As a result, frustration sets in and our mindset gets a bit hijacked. We don’t usually see it but those around us are affected by our frustration because, let’s face it, we can wear our emotions on our sleeve. We may be a bit edgy, insensitive, or rude as a result and we can become bitter. Usually, and unfortunately, we are the most bitter or rude to those closest to us, especially loved ones.

Now, I realize that was a lot to unpack and probably read, but in my mind at least it was necessary to set the foundation for where we are going and what you even said yourself, “I have some fault in the issue, which I am willing to accept.”

So, here is my recommendation, if you feel like you have any responsibility to apologize to anybody, start there. Talk to them about how their actions have affected you. If they apologize for their actions, accept it, forgive them, and move forward in a new relationship. If they don’t apologize and you feel like they owe you one, forgive them anyway, internally, and move forward.

For the most part, we cannot control the series of unfortunate events that come our way in life. We can work to control our response to those events.

To answer your last question, “If you have been able to let go of your baggage successfully, care to share how you did it?” Yes, receive forgiveness and forgive others.

I hope this has helped you and I would be happy to explain further if you would like.

This.

Time alone isn’t a peacemaker.

You are what you practice. And it takes work, daily work, to undo habits of bad practice. Holding on to things like this can become systemic.

Some tiny little things can make a big difference:

Meditation. 10 minutes a day.

Write a daily gratitude. Short & sweet, 2 lines. Do that for 3 months, and I promise it’ll help make a difference. Do it for 12 months and you’ll see more difference. Do it every day.

Here’s a great quote from Eckhart:

“It may look as if the situation is creating the suffering, but ultimately this is not so - your resistance is.”

Do the work. Every day.

A great quote I like to refer to often is by the Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus “It is not the event that disturbs us but our interpretation of the event”. A great example is you could have two twins experience exactly the same tragedy in life. One might view it negatively and fall into a great state of depression, never to recover. The other may look for it as an opportunity for personal growth and end coming out stronger and contributing to the world and helping people much more than they might have otherwise.

Agree with this. In my experience you can acknowledge things happened that were unfair/made you unhappy but if you find yourself spending an unreasonable amount of time/energy dwelling on things that are over then then perhaps you’re not living your current life to the fullest. Time will pass and that will make the disappointment less intense but there’s a whole other part of this that you can control. Write your unsent letter or process this however works best for you and then let it go. Now is an opportunity for intentional growth/moving on. You really will get to better things in life and the speed at which you get there is not entirely out of your control.