If a guy is very wealthy, should he hide this when he first starts dating a woman?

Hide it for sure. But $120,000 per year is nice but it ain’t going to scream wealth to most people.

This kind of money is chump change in most metro areas. Don’t be flashy unless you’re unattractive or boring. The flex is confidence with some humor but your posts suggests neither so you may need to drop some cash.

I'd say hide it. By all means.

Let me ask another question of a similar nature if I may.

If you are a multi-millionaire, should you hide it from your child? Is it okay to hide it from them? Say you live simply and just average, but have a lot in the bank.

Thoughts?

First date should never be ostentatious. Also 120k is nothing - that is a starting salary in tech. You might find the woman you're dating makes more than you.

Nearly everyone I know that makes that much “works from home.” They actually just sit by their community pool drinking wine and scrolling tik tok. The money is a big deal because it affords you these freedoms. They can afford to send their child to private school all day, then after care then night time baby sitter. This person doesn’t work hard and phones it in at their airbnb in Tulum. You don’t have to display your wealth. Clothes, house, car, lifestyle speak for themselves. If the other person can’t be pick up on it, they’re not a match.

It doesn't matter how much you make it how much wealth you have ... It isn't discussed with people you aren't connected to permanently. Why do people insist on throwing around their financial situations? Just asking for trouble

It's not that hard to figure out the general salary of someone else whether they're a teacher, nurse in a hospital, accountant, mid level PR person in media. But as others pointed out their wealth is another story.

I would keep this on the down low as you say, while dating. Not that you may want to but a good partner won't be impressed with your money. Your values with respect to money, wealth, overall lifestyle etc...is more telling. My now wife and I had no idea what type of wealth or retirement accounts each of us have until after we were married.

$120k isn’t wealthy. I make about $50k/mo. Now, tbh, it depends on the person.

A girl I dated was a doctor that made $325k. She was simple and I could tell money mattered but not in me end all be all kind of way.

The girl after her had every purse & bag imaginable, $1000 shoes, designer everything and seemed superficial.. I obviously didn’t continue to date her but also didn’t share what I made at all because she seemed like the type to date for lifestyle.

I agree with keeping on the down low while dating, but only to the extent that it should be kept private early on. Not saying you can start being flashy or bragging about wealth or anything, but you and your SO should be on the same page when it comes to money, and getting married with never having any sort of discussion about money is NOT a good idea. I want to know values around money and if my SO isn't irresponsible with money. Getting married and then finding out that your spouse is 6 figures in debt is a recipe for disaster.

You're speaking to a community where the average makes $250k, has a sub 14 minute 5K pb, and can take their pick of the hottest women on Tinder.

That's true. In our case she had no idea how much I had in my retirement account nor I of hers. It was only as I approached retirement that we really learned the extent of our respective accounts.

Neither person should mention how much they make nor should either person ask how much the other makes.

Whether you are going for longterm or a hook up, the game is similar. Any way you are showing wealth or bragging won't go over the best. That puts you in the realm of d-bag, insecure, and/or $75k a year millionaire. Big D energy is a real thing whether in the bedroom or bank. Be yourself, be secure, be confident, and she'll know.

+1 $120k is almost unlivable for an adult (not wanting roommates) in the top cities. I make over $300k and live a fairly modest life, although I don’t have to worry too much about basic stuff like having good food or traveling when I have the time. Most of my shirts are several years old and cost $5-20, I have no interest in fashion or anything superficial.

My gf doesn’t know what I earn although she could probably make a reasonable guess of my income and NW. If she was into designer handbags and clothes, we wouldn’t be dating in the first place.

My wife and I were both dirt poor when we met. If she had delusions of wealth by dating me, she was sorely disappointed. There's a lot more to meeting, attracting and staying with the right person than showing off wealth (if you have any to start with).

I wouldn't hide it but I also wouldn't talk about it. There comes a time when finances matter but you should be in a relationship and should know that it's not because of money.

I'm in the opposite situation where the woman I'm seeing makes more than I do and has family money.

Nicely done.

Flaunt your money openly and ostentatiously to ensure that you attract only the most beautiful and hopelessly vapid girls. This will ensure a lifetime of empty transactional relationships with women.

Is 120k "rich" in a lot of cities? Of course not. But let's not pretend it's "almost unlivable" anywhere.

OP, the answer is no, do not advertise. Anyone who is remotely close to your social class is going to be pretty adept at figuring out where you stand based on age, education, location, and job. Anyone who can't figure that out (perhaps because you don't advertise your wealth with flashy cars, etc.), is someone who is so far from your social class that you are probably wasting your time dating them anyway.

The only exception I can think of is you and the person you're dating both have prestigious but non-lucrative job (e.g., Assistant US Attorney), and you happen to have family money. Under such circumstances, it might make sense to make clear at some point that you can provide a private practice lifestyle despite working in government.