The struggles of dating as a 30 y/o Frugal man

and have a minimal clothing selection but is quality. (Lululemon)

LOL

Do u show them ur fermenting mead collection in ur closet? Definitely use that as profile pic

-1,000,000/10

1. Online dating doesn't work.

2. Quality women don't use online dating.

If you're on this website I would assume you're a runner. The best way to meet people is area track teams or running clubs. The old standbys for me were libraries, bookstores, or artistic events but those seem to be passe. I moved to a new area a year ago and most of the new people I have met were in a track team ( I still have illusions of master's competition) and at the local YMCA. I have even tried the new middle aged fad, pickleball. I still haven't accepted online dating. Also, my personal bias is that you never meet a quality mate at a bar.

Actually, I have delusions of competing.

Take the homebrew pill. Mead is delicious

90% of men if let alone would be frugal

Pretty much all men show wealth to attract women

Who knew?

it’s actually written on the first page of the Bible. So it’s actually not a new fact.

I attracted my (very) long time GF as a frugal 30-year-old. She had speed googles, so that helped.

Your frugal lifestyle might be holding you back if you are trying to attract women you've known for only a short period of time. For example, they might see your 2006 Toyota and think that you lack the financial security to afford a newer car. But as another poster said, if you meet people through a running club or another venue where you can get to know people, frugality shouldn't prevent you from meeting a quality partner.

Frugaltiy is not going to attract women looking for a guy to drop a lot of money on them; on the other hand, being too frugal suggests that you are unwilling or unable to support a partner, both emotionally and financially. I'm a huge proponent of gender equality, and as a woman, I value making my own money and the ability to support myself. However, I suspect that most women are primed to value financial/material stability in a partner because doing so is adaptive from an evolutinary perspective. As old-timey as it sounds, giving gifts and showing generosity is a way to demonstrate your ability to care for and support a woman.

I suggest differentiating between bald materialism/the quest for a luxury lifestyle and sensible mate-selection criteria for women. Be honest with yourself about what you want and what you're willing to give. You might have to budge a little bit on your frugality to find success (it's hard to know whether you're frugal or stingy). There's a difference between reasonable comfort and busting your butt or overextending credit to satisfy somebody who wants the royal treatment.

I believe the solution in these circumstances is generally to meet a modest woman. Neither of you are probably all that frugal/modest but together, you can have hours of fun using trendy adjectives about yourselves to differentiate yourselves in a superior way from your peers.

But be careful! Even a modest woman will be deterred by a bum who can't hold down a job or who spends his money on designer clothing or flashy vacations.

Do you own a home, or are you looking for a woman's to lodge in so that you can further your frugality and vacation budget? What is the purpose of your frugality?

These conversations always tend to focus on the whole "spending money to prove that you can be a provider" angle, but there's something even more basic at play: people want a mate they can have fun with, and having significantly different spending habits can be a huge barrier to enjoying time together.

Let's say that a particular woman enjoys going out for drinks at a lively bar after work on a Friday to unwind. She's fine with paying her own way, but she's just looking for a guy to enjoy the experience with. She takes one look at the OP and pictures future Friday evenings being spent drinking mead in his drab living room because going to a beer garden doesn't fit his financial sensibilities. Do you see why she won't exactly run into your arms?

Your lifestyle sounds reasonable. Looks like you're trying to find a reason you're not successful with the ladies other than your personality. Women do this too, BTW. I had a friend who asked me if she had a hard time finding men because she had a master's degree. No, it was because she was neurotic and she believes plastics are giving us all cancer. (Joke's on me if the latter ends up being true!)

If the 2006 Toyota is sputtering along, yeah, maybe that's a turnoff.

Coffee shops aren't expensive if you just get a coffee and not one of the fancy drinks.

There are frugal women out there. In fact, the woman I mention above was incredibly cheap as well.

Just remember, you can't take it with you, so enjoy life a little.

you're 6'4" and have struggles dating

something ain't checking out here

Eh, there is something such as too tall. If you're awkward and skinny, it's not a good look. Think (an extreme case) Manute Bol.

Jordo -- Nothing wrong with a man wearing Lululemon, but I bought a shirt once and it tore after two washings. It's notoriously poorly made. I'm not sure you're as frugal as you think you are, just poor taste is more likely.

It’s not the frugal lifestyle for sure.

You could probably attract a nice 18 year old wanting to get out of her parent’s house with your lifestyle.