How do you all deal with loneliness/emptiness?

All I can say is: I think I know how you feel.

Bumping for you OP. Interested in hearing what others have to say.

Go read the long post in the threaded about the 2:16 former addict.

most people who dedicate their life to running end up becoming very hateful and resentful to people who chose to have fun and enjoy socializing.

i think most people here in the Grind of running will look back on themselves and laugh at how seriously they took a hobby about running and arbitrary distance in an arbitrary time.

Silly but...

- Travel to other countries. Learn their languages and start fresh there.

- Find a job in a totally different field

- Try start doing something you never thought you could do. Write a novel, compose a song, play an instrument, whatever. Or just do some completely crazy like climbing mount Everest and you might feel different afterwards.

- Get a dog. Then get another one.

- Move back to your parent's house. Talk to and take care of them.

I know that when I was younger I kind of had this subconscious feeling that if I ran fast enough, I would be attractive enough and once had a significant other my depression/anxiety would be cured or greatly lessened. As you get older you realize that those periods of negative emotion are a constant. They don't have to be the end of the story but you will always have them. I found that embracing that fact (that life will always be disappointing to some extent, [sad lonely drives will always be a thing here or there, even with family/relationship]), was extremely freeing (be thankful for what you have and generous when you can) and keeps negative emotional periods down to a few days instead of years. I often remind myself of how much I've already gotten through, so I know theres always a strong chance I can get through the next phase and find fulfillment again. (Most fulfilled now I've ever been)

I found that as I restructured my view of my depression it let me discover and enjoy the hobby side of life (which are a distraction but still have value).

Also if you don't have a purpose for existing you need to find one otherwise yea it will eventually destroy you (that purpose can be very simple and not even that "good")

I would also remove all aspects of running from your life besides the actual training. Treat it as a hobby.

when you aren’t training don’t even think about it. No races online. No YouTube re runs. No running books. Unfollow runners on Instagram.

it will help you take as just something you do after working everyday then forget it about it. Read and watch YouTube on other subjects or interest. Don’t become one dimensional.

i never listen to runner podcast intentionally.

What is your purpose? What is the meaning of life?

Well, I would ask what is your contribution? To your loved ones, to yourself, to your community.

Perhaps you can try to challenge yourself to accomplish something difficult that takes time and work outside of running and your job. This can help your self-worth.

Identify the self-defeating behaviors that keep you feeling isolated.

One of the most important things in life I have learned is to be willing to accept help and reach out for it when you need it. You say you have great friends and family but do you share these thoughts and feelings with them or do you suffer alone with them?

Many people (myself included) would love to do therapy but cannot currently afford it. Why not use your resources to go to a wellness retreat or try therapy?

You can't think these problems away. There needs to be an action behind any change. This reaching out could be the first step. Start with expressing openly and honestly these feelings to people close to you that you trust and go from there. Be willing to take their advice if you believe it is good advice.

You asked a great question and I am sorry you don't feel better considering how your life is going (objectively great). We'd all love to run 2:20 and be 26 again, so trust me, it could be worse.

But I understand what you mean by "not enough" and I think it is actually very common. You can't "achieve" your way out of this feeling. Running faster or making more money or going to more parties won't change anything if the feeling is internal.

But there is a pretty traditional and ancient solution: find a way to serve others. Life isn't just about building your own resume and skill-set. If you don't have other people who need you, you are essentially living a pointless life. Can you find something you care about (environment, schools, the needy, charity, etc.) and put some energy into helping others?

Once I had kids and was working full-time to serve my community (as part of my job), any sense of "pointlessness" disappeared. A life spent "boosting your own stats" can be very hollow. Let us know what you pick.

Stay too busy to get lonely, too much family, to many friends and I want all of them in my life so it is busy busy busy. Simply don't have the time to wimp around, be lonely.

Option 1:

Step 1: Join running club / run meet up with loads of attractive peoples

Step 2: find mate there that also runs

Step 3: travel world together racing around the globe...

Option 2: Get another hobby that is more social, where you meet interesting peoples and does not interfere with your running for example a cooking course or work related networking events..

Running and work are lonely pursuits so you need to balance them with either having a family/spouse or participating in social events...

Find a woman who also feels the same way. Form a relationship based on mutual fear of loneliness.

But seriously you just have to put yourself out there. Go to meetup.com groups. Do online dating again

OP, you’re depressed. You’re suffering from anhedonia. Please go see your doctor and read them this post.

Thanks everyone for advice. I don’t think running is the issue I genuinely enjoy it. I quit running for about 3 years post college and focused on friendships and career and actually felt worse. I’m glad I got back into running but have mostly felt this way my adult life. I run and go out and don’t let running affect any of my decisions so I doubt that is the problem. I don’t have a purpose but I do have goals but if I don’t hit them it’s like whatever not a big deal. Kinda just coasting along. I stay very busy but whenever I’m not with friends or work or hobbies I get really lonely and sad, especially at night. Also don’t have any social media

Tinder--one and dones. Will coat you about 40 per month subscription plus the money you spend on dates.

I’m someone who is diagnosed with bi-polar II and MDD. Get checked and see if a psychiatrist recommends meds.

I tried drinking and that turned out to be a complete disaster. The best things, aside from medications, for me personally, was a running club and logo therapy. It’s not for everybody, but has helped me.

Also, get another hobby . Read ,, paint, crosswords , keep your mind active. I like music but have a tin ear so I’m teaching myself to play the recorder.

Just don’t self medicate, from personal experience I’ll tell you it can lead to consequences you don’t want to think about..

How did I double post ⁉️

Some of the most important things you can do for yourself seem completely unproductive.

You could take up collecting stamps, for example. Seems completely pointless, but it gives you something to do other than work and run, gives you an opportunity to decompress, and finally gives you something to talk about with others. Variety is the spice of life.