Embarrassed to DEATH

You do care about the breakup.

Honestly, I care way more about my family. The breakup was way over due. I’ve expected the breakup for over a year. My reason for staying in it was because I wanted to be right.

Why are you letting what other people think have this much control over you? So what, you were wrong. Most relationships end in a break up. At least you tried. Being right is a daft reason to stay in a relationship. Tell your family if they want to help (as they seem to from what you said about trying to comfort you) that they need to drop the I told you so thing. And be glad you have your family and that presumably no one has died over the recent period, unlike some of us who are going through that. You need to go and get a glass of milk or water and drink that, and then start on some basic food like toast. Making yourself into a medical emergency is more embarrassing.

Well some of us have been there. Sh!t happens. but you will get over it, I promise.

Maybe you need to skip this Thanksgiving with your family. The other option would be to go there and just talk about other stuff. They will understand, I am sure.

Anyway, good luck.

Been there before myself. Best thing that happened was I moved on and learned why I decided to be in a bad relationship in the first place. Its worth it to figure it out.

As far as meddling family members remember their concern and judgement comes from a “good place”. Remember however only you really will know if a relationship is good for you - not them.

Thank you. Definitely skipping Thanksgiving.
I think I’m going to leave for a couple months.

Breaking up 4 years after they told you doesn't sound like a bad relationship to me. 4 years is a really good relationship. It might not have worked out, but you clearly had something good together if it lasted that long.

There's no need to be embarrassed. They were looking out for you 4 years ago, they weren't completely right, it didn't work out, family is important long-term, life has ups and downs. I'd clearly draw a line if anyone says anything that upsets you, and go have a nice dinner.

I would vote for getting well dressed, clean and attending Thanksgiving. Most will be supportive and kind (hopefully), and roll with the punches. Having resilience and facing these kind of painful encounters will help you in the long run. Also, staying in your relationship longer and staying away from your family are consistent with an avoidant pattern, which is not optimal. Thanksgiving night with family will end faster than you think and at the end will likely be pleased you suffered through it.

I like this solution. Separate yourself from the family and take care of YOU.

Opposite happened to me at 23, I broke up with GF that my parents thought I would marry- 4 years of dating….and my dad upon hearing the news in person from me starting screaming and just kept repeating “Why John! Why did you do it John? I need to know wjy!? Why?! What do you THINK YOU WERE DOING!!?” I NEED TO KNOW WHY John!! He was so angry I burst into tears and said I just didn’t like her- always been doing things and dating girls for my parents, it was awful. Never giving af again. Like my parents questioning my breakup like that makes me realize I never loved them and plan one day to ya know…them

Congratulations! Your super power is pride! You’ve known for over a year that they were right and you were wrong, but no, you can not deal with that. They don’t really care about your circumstance, but they are dazzled and amazed by your unmatchable pride.

Not sure if you can die by embarrassment in and of itself, but embarrassment in this situation may or may not lead to depression, which will kill you. It's good that you are reaching out, and I hope you get the help that you need.

Really sorry to hear about both of those things you're going through. Even if you were expecting the breakup it's still rough to have that change of pace in life. And no doubt it doesn't help when the family is trying to throw it all in your face and not just letting you work through it all.

Definitely take the time you need to be away from that kind of negativity. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, take a road trip or day trip somewhere and just focus on you. Best wishes for it all.

doubt they really want to rub in it your face, instead they probably care about you a lot.

give them a chance - go see them.

I had an Uncle who was depants in down town America, went into hiding essentially and never came out again in day light (true story). Lived the rest of his life in a shack.

Don't let this destroy your life.

It takes a fair braver person to face adversity. Be Brave.

that's what I feel when I go on Letsrun and see millions of topic about Valby and Tuohy everywhere and people arguing about.. about what actually? I'm still trying to figure out.

Ya know, I let go of probably the best girl/relationship of my life because I listened to what other people thought of us instead of how I thought of her. It’s a mistake that still haunts me more than a couple years after the fact.

Why even give a crap about what your family and friends think. It’s your love life.

Sounds like the bad relationship you’re in is the one with your family

Yes, it’s possible. If you don’t see a way out or are thinking of killing yourself, check yourself into the hospital.

Stop caring about what others think and take back control of your life.