This is the last time I went out of my house. And honestly the last time I smiled. 2022 has been one of the hardest years of my life. I sometimes don’t leave my house for days on end because I’m so depressed. I lost my dad. I didn’t make the last Olympic team. I tried to go back to run track but I was 25 pounds too heavy from doing Bobsled, so I pretty much got dead last in every race. I tried to move fully into my next job but nothing has panned out.
I thought maybe God is slowing me down so I can focus on a serious relationship. I’ve been wanting to be married for years and now and I have the time to really invest in dates. Wrong. The guy I was talking to for 8 months who said he was a Christian basically was a lie.
So with nothing really moving with work or a relationship I started to feel like I was going to run out of time be able to have kids, so I decided in my down time to feeeze my eggs. The last straw to my strength breaking was when I was teased on social media for freezing my eggs at 39.
It’s very hard to keep praying when you feel like your prayers go unanswered year after year. It’s hard to stand strong when the people who treat you poorly you see them have success. It’s hard to keep trying to go on dates when your heart has continued to be broken.
I’ll go thru moments where I’m reading my Bible nonstop and feel Gods going to work it all out and then the next day i can’t even read one verse because I feel so hurt and forgotten.
So this is what’s been going on. Im grateful for my friends who try to drag me out of the house bc they know how much my heart is hurting. if you’re still reading This after my long rant you are a real one 😂😂