So, I have this coworker who is always touching me, giving me hugs, putting her hands in my hair. It's definitely not in a sexual way as she has a model-looking boyfriend and I'm extremely ugly.
Anyway, the problem with this is I started having erections when she touches me, and I'm afraid of getting fired.
I'm not sure how I should talk to her so she stops touching me. Of course I won't talk about my erections, as this is a certain way to get fired. Should I just pay an actress to show up at my work to pretend to be my girlfriend so she backs off? I would need an ugly actress for it to be believeable.