People who were in a bad marriage for a long time and finally divorced, what was the turning point/last straw?

Dead bedroom, Covid safety disagreements

He got caught sexting other girls. It happened once, which I was willing to forgive (everyone makes mistakes). Then he did a second time a few years after. What crossed the line for me was our son in was in one of the photos, and the girl he sexted with was underage apparently.

That's what the crossed the line for me.

I promise I'll never do it again, hon. I'm a changed man.

She became an alcoholic while I was out running all the time. When the first judge found out he slapped her with a restraining order. Works most of the time. No regrets at all. She has tried to get back with me but the children said she is drinking even more these days. I do drink now and then. Dated a few girls and have gotten laid more in the last eight years then any of the previous ones. Life is beautiful.

For Jada and Will Smith apparently it was years of sexual humiliation that was summarized by a bad joke at the Grammys.

Do you think he ever physically cheated? Or just sexting? I ask because I've known couples who remained married even after long term sexual affairs, so it's interesting to me that some couples split over things so much less severe. Not judging at all. Just find it interesting.

16 years of marriage, we we're a good team.

Same interests mostly.

But hardly any bedroom.... Even after extensive talks.

Couldn't see me another 25 years on the couch getting none...

He farted so hard he blew a hole in some of his clothes.

Two things: (1) staying together "for the kids" was not in fact healthy for the kids. They had two unhappy fighting parents, which is worse. (2) If you're going to be a stay at home spouse, you need to be supportive of your supporting spouses career. You can't not want to work and then also have my job be the entire reason of why your life sucks.

For how long was there no "bedroom" after you married? Did the marriage end traumatically or was it a mutually agreed upon decision?

For all of the people commenting "dead bedroom," how dead are we talking? We've dropped steadily over the years (down about 2x a week now), and I'm thinking of calling it quits. However, I don't know if I'm just being unrealistic.

You're married and having sec 2 x a week? That's a freaking win man.

My adult son moved back in with us and he is only working two nights a week until May when he will work four nights.

We only have sex when is working{her rule} so it's down to two nights a week for sex.

Before he moved back in we had sex 4-5 times a week and it was fun{ex I tell her which friends of hers I'd like to have a threesome with and she plays along}

Can't wait till fall when he goes back to school.

When I got served by her lawyer.

Is this a joke? Most unhappy married people I've known say they have sex like twice per year or not at all. That sounds unbearable to me... Not how life is intended, not healthy at all. I realize things change, but I would think if sex is happening less than once per month, and this goes on for more than a year, the marriage is pretty much dead. But I'm a young(-ish) never-married guy, so what I'm off.

Some of these replies don't sound all that bad... Relatively speaking anyway. I've known couples who didn't even like each other yet "stayed together for the kids" for years. Hard to know what is best.

Not a joke. Honestly curious, as, after 8 years together, this has been quite a drop-off for us. I guess it's the natural progression though, and maybe my expectations need readjusting...

Nah bud. After 16 years my wife and I still have freaky deaky sex 4+ times a week. COVID helped things quite a bit since we were both at home.

Twice a week sounds rough.

We have 2 kids under 2 and bedroom is virtually non-existent with kids co-sleeping...etc. But we're basically on the same page in terms of getting it back on track once the little one gets out of our freakin' room. I also need to get snipped before we start again because I really don't want a 3rd kid. Took a big detour with the small kids but still genuinely attracted to each other. Divorce would be my nightmare and someone would have to do something pretty outrageous for that to be on the table.

I feel like that's the way things are heading for me. If you don't mind expounding, how did things turn out with the kids/the whole process?