Male take needed on a dramatic suitor -- can this work?

We're taking a poll wrote:

I am offended by obesity, but even with the extra weight, she is worth being obsessed about. Is there hope or will things fall apart when reality sets in?

I appreciate your friend doesn't want to be apart of an affair.

But even if the dude divorces his wife to maybe get the opportunity for a date with your friend, how about the special needs son? Who is going to be obsessed about him. He's just going to walk out on him? No.

Dude married a single mom with a special needs kid and is now obsessed with a fat chick.

10/10

Wierd fantasy.

Married men looking to cheat are ten a penny. Creepy stalkers are slightly less common.

If he's a surgeon and only managed to marry a single mom nurse and is obsessed by a fat chick, then how ugly is tbis guy?

Kobbs Hessler wrote:

Dude married a single mom with a special needs kid and is now obsessed with a fat chick.

It happens to the best of us

My 2 cents; the problem is not your female friend. The male surgeon and his obsession with her is the problem. I've seen two personal cases like this. 1. A friend of mine obsessed over a female prostitute. She cleared his bank account and savings in less than 30 days. He believed she wanted to give up that life. Bought an engagement ring and went on the streets looking for her. Her pimp chased him off. He finally sought help and went to counseling. 2. A guy was obsessed with someone already married. So he left his wife and kids and when she tried ending the affair he threatened suicide. Tragic ending because his wife couldn't cope and committed suicide. When his obsession got divorced. He married her but thry argue repeatedly. She's spending everything he earns including drawing his lifetime savings. Trying to keep her happy. Therefore the way I see it is the male surgeon's obsession over her is going to lead him to ruining his current family. And nothing she does will deter him. He doesn't care about weight gain or the hurt he's causing. As long as he can be with your friend. He's going to do so. He needs counseling before he makes some grave decisions. But I just don't see an end to his obsession based on what you've revealed.

About a 0% chance this goes well.

Let's pretend we didn't know he was a surgeon.

Is it different?

Yes. Our society views doctors differently than non-doctors. For this reason we're giving this guy the benefit of the doubt and think he must know what he's doing.

Being a trauma surgeon does not make him equally competent in all areas of life:

https://edmontonjournal.com/news/local-news/edmonton-pediatric-surgeon-suspended-for-alleged-affair-with-infants-mother

He's not pretty boy, but not ugly. 6'2" and Nordic, built strong....hunts, chops wood, and can work on cars. Intelligent and in charge, so he has traditional appeal. I think he's a drama queen/into drama and extremes (traumarama), so my friend, who is superlative in terms of her mind and character...and was 24, hot, and top of their class when they dated....appeals to his sensibilities, and he sees her as the one who got away.

Where is she from that she was winning HS races running 19:XX?

A 19:30 would barely be top 5 at a tri-meet where I'm from. No chance at top 10 at a bigger invite.

We're taking a poll wrote:

He's not pretty boy, but not ugly. 6'2" and Nordic, built strong....hunts, chops wood, and can work on cars. Intelligent and in charge, so he has traditional appeal. I think he's a drama queen/into drama and extremes (traumarama), so my friend, who is superlative in terms of her mind and character...and was 24, hot, and top of their class when they dated....appeals to his sensibilities, and he sees her as the one who got away.

Tall and a surgeon gives him an option with something like 90% of all women, while the average dude maybe has a chance with 20%. There must be something wrong with him. Personality disorder?

bio logist wrote:

Where is she from that she was winning HS races running 19:XX?

A 19:30 would barely be top 5 at a tri-meet where I'm from. No chance at top 10 at a bigger invite.

Not going to say. I wondered the same thing about her times but didn't want to be petty asking for PRs. She's come out and jogged while I've done workouts on the track. Her build is good for XC, just way too heavy now.

And that's why you don't pursue love. Be with someone who isn't terrible to look at, can make you laugh sometimes and doesn't constantly nag or argue with you. Hollywood has it all wrong. Getting emotional about your love life is like getting emotional about your financial life. You don't invest in gme if you want to build long term wealth. You don't invest in an emotional roller coaster if you want a long term relationship. It's that simple. Yes, every once in a while someone will win the lottery and be with someone they feel very strongly for have little to no relationship problems. That's the exception, not the rule. Divorce rates speak for themselves.... Stop chasing your feelings if you want to get married. If you're looking for the next high keep chasing the flings

Looking For wrote:

We're taking a poll wrote:

He's not pretty boy, but not ugly. 6'2" and Nordic, built strong....hunts, chops wood, and can work on cars. Intelligent and in charge, so he has traditional appeal. I think he's a drama queen/into drama and extremes (traumarama), so my friend, who is superlative in terms of her mind and character...and was 24, hot, and top of their class when they dated....appeals to his sensibilities, and he sees her as the one who got away.

Tall and a surgeon gives him an option with something like 90% of all women, while the average dude maybe has a chance with 20%. There must be something wrong with him. Personality disorder?

Methinks this is part of the reason why he's so obsessed. He want's the one that he can't have.

By friend do you really mean yourself?

I have a feeling that this does not end well.

Sounds like a guy who will pull a murder-suicide in 10 years after this next relationship fails. I say no and stay away.