Have you tried communicating about her frustrations? I would try open dialogue and see what can or can’t be worked out. But I would tend to agree with some of the others that this sounds like an increasingly toxic relationship that you should reconsider
Narcissists do this all the time. Treating strangers better than their partners and family members. Sad!
Ashley Madison wrote:
Dated a girl exactly like this. Constant and never-ending nagging, needling and telling me how to do things. Tried to conform to her wishes, however, never was "perfect". I was told not to date her, I should have listened. After six months after one particularly bad day - I kicked her out of my house. She did look great n*ked though, was was great in bed, which is why it probably lasted six months. She has never had a long-term boyfriend. So, it's not me.
My 1st marriage was the same thing. She was nice to everyone else and mean to me. Going out of my way to be nice to her only made it worse. We were going to a counselor and if one of us was busy the other would go alone. The last time I saw the counselor, I was by myself and she told me my ex would never change and that I should get out of the relationship, so that's what I did.
Since the end our marriage, she's had a series if relationships that never last longer than a year.
f ed wrote:
My gf is super outgoing, extroverted, and talkative. I am very similar, to a lesser degree. She is very nice to literally everyone--her friends, coworkers, customers, waiters, EVERY person she talks to--except for me.
She will get occasionally get angry or annoyed at all these people, and always approaches them with grace, honesty, and respect.
But if I fail to meet a single expectation, even something as little as going to the gym at the wrong time of day, or lacking interest in netflix shows, I am subject to immediate, contemptuous brow-beating OR manipulative, passive-aggressive and sarcastic guilt tripping. Average is probably 2x a day when we are together all day.
Either she is fake to 99% of peopler, or there is something specific about me that has caused her to act like that, or to be comfortable confronting me like that (and only me).
If the older people on LR have any advice I would appreciate it. At this time, I'm basically in a holding pattern, waiting until she makes a big deal out of something so incredibly dumb that I can dump her for one justified reason (and not just general exhaustion with her attitude). We don't live together. I feel so bad for her parents, who think I'm great. I've never dumped someone before. I genuinely want to see her happy but she just bites my head off for the dumbest crap and shows no signs of stopping.
Let her read the first part above about what you don't like (not the part about dumping her) and have a discussion about it. If that doesn't work or nothing changes, then you might should leave and you will have a reason for doing so.
OP, your GF’s behavior comes straight out of the abuser’s playbook. Not worth it.
SDSU Aztec wrote:
My 1st marriage was the same thing. She was nice to everyone else and mean to me.
Everyone's telling the poster the same thing. Classic narcissist / borderline behaviors... Wish I knew this 10+ years ago.
Life's short - don't let anyone treat you badly, including yourself. I debated leaving a bad marriage exactly like this, but I'm super happy I did. My ex would get angry that I wanted to go for a run on the weekend(!)
Packed my things and left - best day of my life.
Found someone amazing, who joins me on runs and finished two half marathons herself.
Acting differently in public and private is a red flag in my book. Definitely look out for manipulative, narcisst or borderline behaviors .. leave immediately.
Dude it is simple, DUMP HER ASS
If you could break up with her and meet some real quality women at any Olympic Games in history, which one would it be?
Your GF sounds exactly like my ex-wife.
But on the bright side, at least she's not Suzy Favor Hamilton.
Sounds like you are a b****. And she expects more from you because you are together. But she is also too weak or too much of in an easily compromised position to leave you. It’s very easy to get on a site like this and b**** to your base with very little honest insight into “her” position. You sound like a super insecure beta who plays hard at alpha and is suffering because of it. Be honest with yourself first
blamb61 wrote:
f ed wrote:
My gf is super outgoing, extroverted, and talkative. I am very similar, to a lesser degree. She is very nice to literally everyone--her friends, coworkers, customers, waiters, EVERY person she talks to--except for me.
She will get occasionally get angry or annoyed at all these people, and always approaches them with grace, honesty, and respect.
But if I fail to meet a single expectation, even something as little as going to the gym at the wrong time of day, or lacking interest in netflix shows, I am subject to immediate, contemptuous brow-beating OR manipulative, passive-aggressive and sarcastic guilt tripping. Average is probably 2x a day when we are together all day.
Either she is fake to 99% of peopler, or there is something specific about me that has caused her to act like that, or to be comfortable confronting me like that (and only me).
If the older people on LR have any advice I would appreciate it. At this time, I'm basically in a holding pattern, waiting until she makes a big deal out of something so incredibly dumb that I can dump her for one justified reason (and not just general exhaustion with her attitude). We don't live together. I feel so bad for her parents, who think I'm great. I've never dumped someone before. I genuinely want to see her happy but she just bites my head off for the dumbest crap and shows no signs of stopping.
Let her read the first part above about what you don't like (not the part about dumping her) and have a discussion about it. If that doesn't work or nothing changes, then you might should leave and you will have a reason for doing so.
Remember the library incident?
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