I don't fully understand why, but this has been really upsetting me recently. My gf has a lab mix that is about 2 years old. It has a lot of energy and will play for hours if it has someone or another dog to play with. Overall my gf takes good care of it, but she almost never walks it, like literally probably once per month, even if she has nothing going on. For example, her job is seasonal (think field biology), and it ended about a week ago, and she has just been sitting around her apartment every single day doing nothing but watching dumb movies on Netflix all day long and has not taken her dog on even a 20 minute walk a single time in the last week even though we've been having nice weather for this time of year (50 degrees and sunny). She has talked to me about how she has nothing to do and feels bad about how lazy she has been, but she still will not walk her dog at all or walk herself.
I guess overall this kind of seems even to me like I'm getting upset over something that is pretty trivial, but it just seems absolutely insane to me that someone would sit around their apartment for a week straight and never go outside even to walk their big energetic dog for even 20 minutes on a nice day. I guess it makes me think she's not really that great of a dog owner, which kind of says some things about her, and, as someone who is very active, it makes me feel pretty put off knowing that she is fine staying inside for a week and not even walking at all or going outside to feel sunshine. Just doesn't seem to bode well for our compatibility or the future of her physical or mental health. Again, I know recognize it's all kind of trivial, but it's still bothering me...
My gf never walks her dog even when she has nothing to do and it bothers me.
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Hopefully that was cathartic. Good to get it out.
Your next move is to ask if everything's okay with her - just light/casual. Don't preface it with anything (especially not why are you being lazy watching dumb Netflix all day), and if she asks why just say you're checking in and wanted to know if there's anything you can do. Also, ask a few times if all 3 of you can take a walk. Sometimes it just takes a nudge. I've been with someone for close to 2 decades, and it's still sometimes tough to notice when she's off/depressed and how to handle it. -
Maybe she's scared of COVID? See what rojo posted:
https://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=10297551 -
Shoulda got a cat
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I think this a definitely a red flag and would be a deal breaker for me.
Assuming this is not depression, but even if depressed, I’m sorry you still don’t neglect a pet, this will definitely manifest itself in other areas. -
CCB wrote:
I think this a definitely a red flag and would be a deal breaker for me.
Assuming this is not depression, but even if depressed, I’m sorry you still don’t neglect a pet, this will definitely manifest itself in other areas.
Well, and something else that has bothered me about it is that I've offered to walk the dog several times now, and she keeps saying, "No, I'll do it" but then never does, so even when I try to help and spend some time with the dog and exercise it, she makes an excuse as to why I shouldn't. Today she slept in until 11:00am and laughed to me about it. We're both roughly 30. -
Sign of the future. She is lazy and self-centered. She won't walk the dog because it's an act solely for someone else. Get out, now!
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If you end the relationship please take the dog with you!
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That's really sad. I hope you manage to take the dog on some walks. Bet it loves you.
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CCB wrote:
I think this a definitely a red flag..
Yup, pet ownership is crazy... -
This is a deal breaker.
Find a woman that is active and you will be much happier.
Also, owning a pet is about giving the pet what he/she needs.
Taking a dog for a walk even when you don't want to is part of the deal. -
Active Guy wrote:
I don't fully understand why, but this has been really upsetting me recently. My gf has a lab mix that is about 2 years old. It has a lot of energy and will play for hours if it has someone or another dog to play with. Overall my gf takes good care of it, but she almost never walks it, like literally probably once per month, even if she has nothing going on. For example, her job is seasonal (think field biology), and it ended about a week ago, and she has just been sitting around her apartment every single day doing nothing but watching dumb movies on Netflix all day long and has not taken her dog on even a 20 minute walk a single time in the last week even though we've been having nice weather for this time of year (50 degrees and sunny). She has talked to me about how she has nothing to do and feels bad about how lazy she has been, but she still will not walk her dog at all or walk herself.
I guess overall this kind of seems even to me like I'm getting upset over something that is pretty trivial, but it just seems absolutely insane to me that someone would sit around their apartment for a week straight and never go outside even to walk their big energetic dog for even 20 minutes on a nice day. I guess it makes me think she's not really that great of a dog owner, which kind of says some things about her, and, as someone who is very active, it makes me feel pretty put off knowing that she is fine staying inside for a week and not even walking at all or going outside to feel sunshine. Just doesn't seem to bode well for our compatibility or the future of her physical or mental health. Again, I know recognize it's all kind of trivial, but it's still bothering me...
Not saying this will fix everything but I've had roommates with pets in the same situation. What I would do is just start taking them for runs. The first mile or two of my run, then drop them off back at the house and continue on. Your girlfriend is not likely going to change any time soon, so if you care about the dog you should simply just start running with it. Don't say it's because you feel bad for the dog, just say you think it would be fun to run with the dog because you want to see how fast it is. It's a win win and eventually she'll maybe start taking part and walking the thing.
Just remember your concern is for the dog, not starting an argument about the philosophy of owning a pet. Lead by example. -
This thread is useless without pics of your GF
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BAD SIGN. If she can't take care of a dog she has then I highly doubt she would be a competent mother. Why do these hoes get a dog they can't take care of? Probably chasing the clout again.
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Is the dog otherwise lacking for exercise? Does it get played with, play with other dogs? Is it riddled with anxiety and destroying the home because its exercise needs aren't being met?
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moe11farah wrote:
Sign of the future. She is lazy and self-centered. She won't walk the dog because it's an act solely for someone else. Get out, now!
Yes get out now. You're early in the relationship, these types of things are only going to get worse. She will become more lazy as she gets older. It'll hurt more to break up the longer you wait, get out now if the future doesn't feel great. -
Fake news. Letsrunners don't have gf's.
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Active Guy wrote:
it's all kind of trivial, but it's still bothering me...
It's not trivial, it's borderline animal abuse. -
Dump the girl! I don’t care how good the sex is! Dump her now before it’s to late. You can tell how a woman will be by the way she treats her pets. Dude? Get out now and take the dog with you if you want to save yours and the dogs life!
