Pendant 69, maybe you need to expand your horizons a bit. Your replies make you seem like sort of a downer, and can make any potentially fun experience a drag.
1) I hunt not for sport, but for food and a connection with nature. The meat found at a local grocer is typically factory farmed and is therefore harvested in an environmentally damaging and inhumane way, which is why I prefer wild game vs. grocery meat. If you are vegan or vegetarian - fair, I understand your point.
2) Halloween is fun for many reasons, changing of the seasons, the nostalgia, the decorations and festivity of it all. The Mountain Town I live in has a neat festival thats usually pretty fun and ties in the community.
3) I have a family I love, get along with and care about. So, yeah, Thanksgiving is fun. Sorry that is not the case for you. Again, cooking is fun for me.
4) You don't have to be Martha Stewart, as you said to enjoy good food. Cooking is a hobby of mine, making stews and soups isn't appealing food in the summer as it's too warm to enjoy. I eat lighter in the summer for this reason, nice to enjoy foods that fit the weather.
5) Sorry you are bad at skiing. For those of us who are good at it, (or anything other outdoor activity) AT Skiing, downhill skiing (whether frontside, side country, or backcountry) can be a thrilling experience and once again bring you closer to nature.
6) Not religious and not into the superficiality of it, but I do enjoy family and traditional aspects of it. It's also typically a time we visit my wife's family out of country so that's an added bonus.
7) Sorry you struggle with alcohol, but for me that's not a problem. Typically NYE includes camping and having a big fire, good food and somewhere with my family. Under the stars and bundled in a tent.
Glad you enjoy running. It seems like without it most of your life experience have been soured.