My wife has absolutely no libido anymore.

Married 48 years and 72 in a week, glad that has never been an issue.

A good wizards sleeve will keep you on your toes son

Not celibate.

Seems like he should go buy a bit

This is true too. Women who are not on any form of BC almost always have a very healthy sex drive in my experience, like it's just as high as men's (they're just more selective about who they sleep with). I have also known many women now who went on BC for awhile, went off, and talked about how marked the increase in sex drive was for them being off BC. It is definitely something to think about for both men and women.

We really need to hear from the OP.

OP found out wife had libido, just not for him.

From people I know, the men w are happiest in marriage have some side chick thing going on. Maybe their wives are having fun too on the side. Quid pro quo.

I would love to get an update from the OP? Is he divorced? Happily married? etc? Or was he just trolling?

It would be great to get updates from people from classic old letsrun threads. Similarly, when I read those Dear Abby type newspaper columns, I think it would be interesting to get an update 10 years later.

I think the odds they still view LRC is pretty slim, would be interesting though.

As female im experiencing low sex drive to but not always been that way,only after I have had my children and been told by him his family as I have no family that I need to protect myself so have had different variety of contraception I had implant in ist after my ist child nothing different with my sex drive to be honest if I can remember had that in for 3 years then had it out and had the talk about second child which indeed took a whole year for my body to return normal and have regular periods again then again second child done then went onto the injection which was causing my bone in my hips to come out pop when I would walk so stopped that went onto patch which I was on for sometime untill it was causing my migraine to become painful so changed again to pill all which in between having my kids my sex drive was not how it was when I was not taking anything while we was trying story cut short. Three children now and have no interest in wanting to have sex no sex drive when having I'm experiencing dryness when my partner enters which causing pain while we do it as he can't see my face I pulling strain face as it goes in out even if we have played before hand I go dry straight away and while in motion to the point he has turned and round to me and said obviously you are getting it from some where else I'm not having sexless relationship. I have explained to him that I'm not like this when not on contraception so could it be side effects to them. To the point he said I'm not wearing condoms so if that's the case then you have your tube tried, I have on many occasions have told him yes I have the problem have admitted it on number of occasion to him but why should I have to keep pumping medication into my system when you could wear a condoms for five ten minutes a day.so I have blood test that the doctor is giving me now for low testosterone,thyroid diabetes, early menopause as I'm only 30 years old but feel I like I've tried to talk him about just having condoms or I stay on the birth control just be miserable and in pain every time we have sex. All could it be that possibly I have no interest in him or lost the attraction for him as I work full time job get kids to school and back all while he is unemployed stays at home sleep during the day up at night,I get questioned if I want something why do want it to the point I'm like forget it don't need it then, I have not got the courage to leave as I have no family, his family does not question his behaviour as he the ist born. Not sure as this now 2023 this post it from a while back

Give him a condom BJ and I think he won’t think it is so bad.

Relationships are complicated, but this situation is not that big of a mystery.

As others have said, you’re making sex all about you. If you’re not doing adequate work to get her “in the mood” and on top of that, you’re the only one getting off on the whole thing, then literally all she’s getting out of it is physical discomfort and a pregnancy risk. Simple as that. If roles were reversed, you wouldn’t want it either.

That's what you think [wink]

She's cheating on you

FYI a lot of people aren't going to read your post because it's a wall of text with no whitespace.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. If you are working full time and primarily responsible for 3 kids, you must be exhausted! It's hard to have a libido when you are tired all the time. Sometimes I wonder if the lack of sex in so many modern marriages is that women work now. I'd be curious to know if stay-at-home wives had more sex with their husbands than working women.

The other thing I think happens is lack of sex is a vicious cycle. He gets resentful because no sex, and therefore is less attracted to YOU, and you get anxiety about sex, making you less turned on. It just gets worse and worse as resentment and anxiety around sex build up.

My ex husband accused me of drinking wine in order to "get in the mood" and also did the thing where he deliberately wouldn't initiate sex just to "test" me and see if I would initiate. It created so much resentment and eventually, he left for someone else. I thought maybe I was just getting older and my sex drive was waning, but it came back in full force about 6 months after he left.

I really like the podcast (there's a book too) "the empowered wife." It's about fixing marriages and rekindling broken relationships. Her advice is a bit unconventional but good. It's sort I wish I'd listened to it before my divorce. It might be interesting to you.

As Rick once said, “Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people calls "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”

This is why you get stuck in a sexless marriage and find your libido with someone else. It’s just the way we are built. We are built to reproduce with different people we find attractive. The power of contraceptives takes away the reproduction part so we have long lasting interest in other people. But once you get married and have kids, that’s a wrap. The hormones stop being produced.

Please, go for a run.