RE: I have a crush on a girl that works at a coffee shop.

Yeah, I had very little success with it - mostly because I wasn't myself - and in general I think its kinda dumb. Sometimes for wks/months after the breakup I've seen the guy dumped (like me) get a friend and do this kind of stuff, and my friends who experienced recently getting dumped did this with me and started using me as wingman or to make them look like they have friends, but really I hate bars and that stuff.I remember shortly after I did get one girl at a bar to just start making out with me, but I called her next 2days and she was the type to have already had 5 drinks when she met me and was already "in a relationship" on facebook.I think she has big substance abuse issues and hops around a lot. She was so drunk she asked me to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom, moments after she had just met and made out with me. Call me a loser if u want. But I found making out is a good thing to realize that what you think u were missing isn't specific to any one girl

follow her home in a disguise wrote:

Maybe he should come in dressed as a clown and give her balloons instead?

Oh, well. The mere mentioning of clowns in a LR thread is a guarantee that this will be deleted. Look what happened to all the other clown threads.

I agree making out with somebody even if they are taken is very good. A good way to help put things into perspsective. That same night I was at bar two weekends I ended up dancing it up with a really cute girl who was much hotter than my ex. I knew she had a boyfriend and that it would go nowhere between us, but I didn't care she was gorgeous and I was dancing with her.

In fact, here is a video of her from that night. What a silly girl. Isn't she really cute?

http://www.break.com/index/fat-girl-faceplants-off-a-mechanical-bull.html

Ask her out the next time you go in. The worst thing that can happen is she can reject you. Getting rejected by this barrista (because that is what is going to happen regardless) will teach you not to wait 2 months to ask someone out and it will also teach you that rejection isn't something to be afraid of.

been there done that one wrote:

stuck with match.com wrote:

I have a crush on this girl that works at a coffee shop. I go to this coffee shop everyday and get the same thing. So She often knows what I want even before I ask for it. Every time I go in we talk a little bit. I believe there is a little chemistry between us. How can I show her that I am interested. Also if she rejects me will it be weird because she makes coffee for me everyday.

Hey man, I did her already. Her pussy stinks to high heaven and now I have this cheesy/mayonnaise like substance coming out of my wang.

Yah take advice from the dude who has no stones to ask a coffee girl out.

Not saying the facebook approach is the way to go, but you have a lot to learn in the abilities of facebooking. If the OP does go this route, finds the coffee girl and wants to friend her then he needs to check into the "common friends" and see which person he wants to use as his "link" to stumbling upon her profile. Simple.

And since you are just a freshman in college you have a lot to learn when it comes to facebook stalking, but you will learn of its powers one of these days. Good luck.

Clearly she now considers you a "friend" of the non-sexual kind. Your window of hunky assertiveness has closed shut. Your best hope now is to basically see her as a "friend" only, with no hint of sexual desperation whatsoever. Put her in the role of being a "pivot" from which you can hook up w/her cute friends or other women who see you hanging out with her. This MIGHT get her to turn to pursuing you. The concept is by aiming past her, you drag her into your persoanl vortex of awesomeness. Kind of like running through the finish line to win the race, instead of aiming at it.

The question is how to get her to hang out. This thread has already provided an angle:

(said with a small smile) "Hey you know, you're kind of cute...mind if I Facebook stalk you sometime?"

If she's at all hot, this will trigger an "OMG!" barrage of stories from her of all the creepy guys who have stalked her in the past. You are now "in" and just need to kick back, relax and enjoy the ride, of course suggesting she come over and watch that Weird Al video clip someone posted earlier in the thread. A few laughs, a little wine and some horseplay....

Ask this girl out. Soon. You have discussed this thing on a message board for however many pages. Can you imagine how you'll feel about yourself if after all this you puss out? You will definately feel worse if you don't ask then if you ask and she says no.

I went in for coffee today and she wasn't in. I would ask her to do something tomorrow but I already know from our conversation that she is returning home for the long weekend which is nowhere near this small college. I'm guessing my best bet would be to try and get something set up for the next weekend, what do you guys think?

ehhhh wrote:

Not saying the facebook approach is the way to go, but you have a lot to learn in the abilities of facebooking. If the OP does go this route, finds the coffee girl and wants to friend her then he needs to check into the "common friends" and see which person he wants to use as his "link" to stumbling upon her profile. Simple.

And since you are just a freshman in college you have a lot to learn when it comes to facebook stalking, but you will learn of its powers one of these days. Good luck.

if they have enough mutual friends i guess you could play it off like you stumbled upon her page. if you dont have many mutual friends, i think she will assume you used her first name and spent a lot of time searching through the thousand or so sallys that go to u of wherever to find her page. that comes off as creepy or hiding behind a computer.

1) i dont think she will necessarily consider him as just a friend. maybe the past few weeks have made it seem like he doesnt care much about her or hasnt thought of her as more than a barista. which is a good thing. come off as casual at first and then make it seem like you just recently thought of being more than friends. you shouldnt give up just because its been a while since you two met.

2) wow definitely do not say any of that stuff at the bottom of this quote. i cant see that working at all. i mean i really dont think she will think that is funny or start telling you tons of stories. you will probably just sound like every other guy who walks in there, thinks shes cute, and drops a dumb pick up line. were you being sarcastic?

stuck with match.com wrote:

I went in for coffee today and she wasn't in.... I'm guessing my best bet would be to try and get something set up for the next weekend, what do you guys think?

for pity's sake make up your mind already! good grief and a half.

This is why I seek advice from you guys. Had I not asked for advice I probably would have gone in yesterday asking for her facebook which is a bad idea. I didn't know that because it worked for me the first and only time. Of course right now my chances aren't better but to be honest I'm just not feeling like going in and straight up just asking her out. I need something to build on, much like you guys build your base in running. Would you guys start off the year doing speed work. No you would slowly build on something, then do the speedwork. That is sort what I feel is going on here.

this aint running you pussy. this is women. you gotta jump right in if you want a chance. youve talked her up, now ask her out you big fat hairy pussy.

Take it from a female: we like the guys that go for the speedwork right from the first day. It shows you mean business. If you don't act, it is like assuming that she has no others in pursuit. Likely, she has 2-3 other guys lined up. If you wait too long she will assume that you actually don't like her that much and only asked her as a nothing-better-to-do thing (or nobody-better-to-do thing) This could only work if she has been thinking about you. Again, if you wait she will think that you don't think that she has other guys after her, and that is no way to start a relationship. She will think that you take her for granted and that she'll always be there.

As for the facebook thing, it's way too easy/casual. I always assume all guys on facebook are stalking/wooing all girls they know, so that wouldn't work well on me.

I think the whole FB idea is because you prefer doing your "base work" in a virtual reality, not actual reality. Would you rather have another opportunity to be blown off after months of "meaningful" conversations via the Internet? Ask her out, you nimrod. You've got a 50/50 chance.

Girls assume to much, would it be too much to ask to just be oh I don't know normal and down to earth? I thought playing games were for children?

stuck with match.com wrote:

Had I not asked for advice I probably would have gone in yesterday asking for her facebook which is a bad idea.

What the f*** does this mean? You would say, "Hey, what's your name so I can facebook you?" Have you ever interacted with a woman in your f***ing life? Good luck to you man, I used to be a fan but I don't know anymore.