My Son Ryan Shay

I'm so sorry for you and your family.

Ryan Shay: Friend, Mentor, Hero

In the wake of the recent tragedy of Ryan Shay’s death at the Olympic Trials in New York City I couldn’t help but reflect on the impact he has had on my life.

I’ve been watching Ryan run since I was a little kid as by older brother ran with him for several years through middle and high school. My envy of him started when I saw him running from Central Lake to Barnes Park and back. At the time I couldn’t fathom running that far and simply thought he was crazy. However, a seed was planted in my mind and inspiration soon followed. After a fourth straight state championship our high school held an assembly where they honored Ryan and his success and declared December 3rd “Ryan Shay Day.” Later while a senior at Notre Dame, Ryan came home to showcase his fitness at the Bellaire High School track prior to competing in Olympic Trials for the 10,000 meters. Afterward he made himself available for autographs, one of which I received on a Notre Dame poster that still hangs on my wall to this day. He made himself into a hero of mine from that day on.

Several years later I made the decision to pursue distance running competitively in college like he did. As my desire to get better grew Ryan contacted me occasionally to see how school and running were going. On several occasions Ryan took the time to meet with me when he was visiting home to talk about running or show me some drills he has used towards his own success. I remember one occasion by chance alone that I was home from college for the weekend and I drove my car the seven miles to the high school where I planned to run from. It happened that Ryan had the same idea on that day. He asked me if I wanted to run with him. I responded like any runner would by asking him how far he was running. He said an “easy” 11 or 12 (miles). I asked him what he meant by “easy.” He again responded by saying “ around 5:40 (minutes per mile) pace. I politely declined, not wanting to tell him I had barely held that pace on my best day for 5 or 6 miles. Over my collegiate career I was fortunate enough to have one of best distance runners in America become my mentor.

As I approached graduation from college Ryan started talking to me about trying out the marathon similar to what he did after graduating from Notre Dame. I listened and saw some success at the distance behind his guidance and leadership. Since college he has always been available to me for training advice or just to chat. I’ve been able to call him a friend for several years now.

This past Saturday, I woke up in anticipation of checking the results of Ryan’s third try at an Olympic team only to be disappointed to see he had “dropped out” of the race sometime after the five mile mark. Little did I know what really happened. Several minutes later I got in my car to drive into the mountains to go for a run myself (since college I’ve moved to Colorado) when I receive a call from my college coach who broke the news to me. Like many people, a number of emotions quickly engulfed me.

After taking some time to reflect I find it ironic that his passing was not only while he was doing something he loved but also the same day as the Michigan High School Cross Country State Championships; an event he dominated like no other individual in the state of Michigan, winning four straight state championships, in addition to winning every race he entered but his first two as a freshman.

I suppose now as many of us mourn his death, we can only have faith that God needed him more than we did. I believe that although he isn’t physically with us, he’ll be in Beijing with those that are representing the United States in the 2008 Olympics. I know he’ll be pushing me along as I run my next marathon. I suppose that my relationship has come full circle with Ryan. From hero to mentor which developed into a friendship and now back to a lifelong hero. Anybody that knew Ryan is a better person for it. May his legacy live on forever; it will always live with me in my heart. We miss you already Ryan.

My condolences to the Shay family, this is a terrible trajedy.

There are certain events that define our collective psyche. Those of a previous generation will always remember where they were and what they were doing upon hearing of JFK's death. Those of the younger generation will never forget the moment they learned of the 9/11 attacks. As a running community, the gravity of this sad day when we lost a great man will remain in our hearts forever.

God Bless the Shay family. This shows you how fragile life is and how life can change in a split second. I remember Ryan years ago coming to flint michigan and winning one of the summer races and he totally crushed everyone in the field. He was such an incredible runner and he seemed like he was a first class person! Sorry for your loss

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Ryan was and will forever be an inspiration to us all.

Shay family, I am so sorry.

I stated this in another thread, but I was just reflecting a little about Ryan and what I miss the most about him right now:

It's funny, but about two weeks ago I had a mild argument with Ryan on the phone trying to convince him that he needed to step back from running and take and exagerated amount of time off (like 3 months of absolutely no running).

His response was "I'll give my self two consecutive easy days if I don't feel recovered from my workout." But, that's Ryan. Intense and obedient.

And as a brother, he carried that same level of comitment and focus in every facet of his life. I could depend on him. When I needed something sent in the mail, he's the guy I would call. Because I knew he would get it done.

I remember when we were little and he'd follow me around. I'd treat him like sh_ _ , and he would still be there for me.......... that's just something I can't understand about him.........he was always there.

In hindsight he used every bit of blessed breath he had to make himself someone special that brings people together.

Ryan wasn't perfect, but it isn't the bad things that bring people together. It's the good things. And I think it's safe to say that a lot of people can agree with me, Ryan's mannerisms of love have finally shown through. Not just with his running, but with every breath he took until the end. I LOVE YOU RYAN!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

It's unimaginable and a terrible reminder to seize the day. God bless Ryan, his family, friends and many admirers who applaud his talent, tenacity and love-filled-heart.

R.I.P Ryan. My prayers are with you all.

DW

Ryan had a love for things that I think most people would take for granted.

THE time you won your town the race

We chaired you through the market-place;

Man and boy stood cheering by,

And home we brought you shoulder-high.

To-day, the road all runners come, 5

Shoulder-high we bring you home,

And set you at your threshold down,

Townsman of a stiller town.

Smart lad, to slip betimes away

From fields where glory does not stay, 10

And early though the laurel grows

It withers quicker than the rose.

Eyes the shady night has shut

Cannot see the record cut,

And silence sounds no worse than cheers 15

After earth has stopped the ears:

Now you will not swell the rout

Of lads that wore their honours out,

Runners whom renown outran

And the name died before the man. 20

So set, before its echoes fade,

The fleet foot on the sill of shade,

And hold to the low lintel up

The still-defended challenge-cup.

And round that early-laurelled head 25

Will flock to gaze the strengthless dead,

And find unwithered on its curls

The garland briefer than a girl's.

My deepest sympathies to Ryan's family and loved ones. I cannot begin to imagine your pain and grief over this loss. I hope that some day you can find peace. God bless you all.

Today has been odd for me- I was exhilarated to get up this morning and watch the trials which were incredible, only to come back a little while after the race and catch the news. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but I had trouble getting out the door to run. I my thoughts often focused on Ryan during my run even though I didn't know him.

I remember seeing the pictures and results of him win the NCAA 10K title in 2001 and as a fan of the sport I respected his tenacity and how successful he was. Life is fleeting and I guess that we all need to remember that. I for one felt blessed to be able to put one foot in front of the other in remembrance of Ryan Shay today and that much of the joy that I find in running has been spurred on by the example and inspiration of men like Ryan Shay

My condolences to Ryan's family and his wife Alicia. May God be with you in your sorrow and your grief. He knows who we each are and remembers us.

My deepest regrets and condolences to Ryan's family, Alicia, and friends. It is so sad to see such a great young man pass before his time. Rest in peace Ryan, I hope you are in a better place now.

When I learned of this thread, I wanted to add my condolences to you and to all of Ryan Shay's family and friends.

I am an aging recreational runner who looks in awe at the accomplishments of those more gifted. They lead the way for us and stretch our estimate of human capacity. When I run in a race and feel as if there isn't anything left of me, I think of what discipline and courage it takes to perform at the level of any of the runners who reached the starting line at the Olympic Trials, and I try a little harder to stay focused, ask a little more of myself, and remind myself that even in my mid-pack or even back-of-the-pack position, in the words of Prefontaine, "to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."

I don't personally know your son, Mr. Shay, but from the reports that I read, and from the comments here by those who did know him, I suspect he gave nothing less than his best, and I suspect he went down giving nothing less than his best.

Having gone through the loss of my mom a few years ago, I know the ache that won't go away (and somehow one doesn't want it to go away... it is the empty space that no one else can fill). I also know how much it means for others simply to be there, share the stories, share the ways in which they have been touched. And in the sharing of those stories and words of comfort, may you find strength. He seems like someone people were proud to call a friend, brother, son, husband.

I sit here with tears in my eyes and deeply saddened over the loss of somebody I never met, yet shared a common bond with...Running

My condolences and thoughts are with you Mr. Shay, your family, Alicia, and all of Ryan's friends.

Ryan embodied dedication. There were no contradictions in Ryan’s life; he was passionate to the core of his being. He was outspoken, bold, confident and courageous. These qualities gave him a personality that had a genuine effect on people. He will be missed.

Ryan Shay was an amazing runner, and from what I hear an exceptional person.....I had the pleasure of watching him compete while he attended Notre Dame and seeing just how much hard work one athlete could put in....his legacy is that he did more in the few years he was on earth than many of us will do in a lifetime.....he is an INSPIRATION

!!!!