I know a lot of people are going to give you a hard time on here, but I’ll assume you’re for real and try to give you some earnest advice fwiw. I’m 43 and married now, but didn’t get married until I was 41. (I.e I have about 25 years of dating experience). I’m not James Bond or anything, but I did learn a few things (mostly through dumb decisions on my part).
The first thing is kind of harsh to hear, but if you’ve been on 100 first dates and haven’t found someone to at least have a short to mid term relationship with, you’re probably the issue.
That could be a lot of different things. Do you choose women based solely on looks? We’re all human and we all want to hook up with hot people, but in the long run that can mean you’re choosing based on factors that aren’t necessarily aligned with the type of person you want to be with. Maybe choose your dates more carefully to make sure that they have a better chance of lining up with you and your personality, in addition to being someone you’d want to get naked with. Go on 10 good dates instead of 100 mediocre ones.
If you’re the one getting rebuffed for second dates, there could be a few things going on. If you’ve got any good female friends, the easiest way to find out is to run through your dates with them and ask what they think. Sometimes women look at things differently.
If you don’t have any female friends to talk to, a few common things I’ve seen guys do (and done when I was younger) to shoot themselves in the foot:
1) Being too eager. At the beginning you can’t be too available. You need to show her that you’re a happy, stable guy who has a lot going on, and you’ll be fine whether she is a part of your life or not. Talk about your hobbies, your friends, good books you’ve read, places you’ve traveled. If you don’t have any hobbies or friends, that’s the first step. You need to have an interesting life outside of a relationship.
Don’t try to be physical on the first date. Ideally let her text first after the date. Never text or call more than once without a response (a non response means she’s not interested. Accept it and move on). The point of the first few weeks and months is for her to get to know you. Don’t start talking about how many kids you want and where you want to get married on the first date. Most people need to feel comfortable first before they start having those types of discussions. Unless she asks, don’t talk about any of that stuff until you’re talking about being exclusive.
2) Not being kind enough. This one can trip guys up when they are trying to do the one I just mentioned. but you can absolutely be kind without being too eager. Ask her about herself, be genuinely interested, ask follow up questions. Pay for the dates. Don’t go off on long political rants. Nothing turns women off more than an angry or mean guy.
3) Bragging. Bragging shows a lack of confidence. There is no need to mention what you make. You can subtly show her by paying for dates, how you dress, etc. Don’t tell her some story where you’re the hero. Quiet confidence beats loud bragging any day.
4) Looks. If you’re a skinny runner, start lifting some weights. No need to be a bodybuilder, but women usually want someone who they can feel protected by. Also, dress and groom well. Going back to the female friend thing, ask for some advice if that’s a problem for you. I would even say it’s worth shelling out for a few sessions with a stylist if you need it. It’s still cheaper than 100 dates.
5) Location. Not sure of this is you, but this is one I had to change. If you feel like the people where you live don’t really line up with your worldview, move. Seriously it can change your friend and dating pool to be a lot better.
Anyway, a few ramblings from an older guy. It sounds like you’ve got the basics down, you’re a good looking guy who makes good money, and has some self motivation since you run and have a great job. You probably just need a few tweaks. Hope it helps a bit.