Post-nuptial shutoff?

Like those PSAs for gay teens... it gets better.

I'm getting old, and the one thing I've noticed is that my sex drive is just dropped to almost nil.

You guys do not know how freeing this is! My brain is no longer clouded by constantly thinking about, or wanting to get p#ssy.

It just happened to me. My wife caught me kissing a marathoner on a dare.

OldnCelibate wrote:

Like those PSAs for gay teens... it gets better.

I'm getting old, and the one thing I've noticed is that my sex drive is just dropped to almost nil.

You guys do not know how freeing this is! My brain is no longer clouded by constantly thinking about, or wanting to get p#ssy.

I'm looking forward to that. Some days I masturbate in the morning and then I'm good for the day. I hate having a sex drive.

There is one test and one test only - enthusiasm. And, you know if she has it before you marry her. You can have a lot of sex, but if she's not enthusiastic (examples: wants to do different stuff when you suggest it, suggests different stuff, initiates sex, talks about sex, etc.) then you have married your way into a life with little sex and the sex you get will be crap.

Far too many dudes get wrapped up into a girls appearance - guess what - why own a beautiful car you can't drive? To look at it in your driveway and spend a fortune on insurance? Forget about what your ego or what your friends think - make your priority sex before looks, and your marriage will be a million times happier. Enthusiasm - you can't fake it, not for months on end. You'll know.

Not sure how this landed as "super hot" again.

There's so much to say here, which is why the thread is long. I think there are generalities, and I also think that each situation, has its own nuances, is unique, with a side of generalities.

A few times in the last year I've heard really really smart people say it takes about 6 months to see a person's true character.

There are lots of stories about how much a woman would put out before the wedding, and then the post nuptial shutov assembly, lol.

First, I don't believe in marriage, unless children are involved, or I need a "green card" to live with her in her country or she needs one.

NOT getting married is quickly becoming the infamous "New Normal," in the USA.

After about 7-8 years most people have run their sexual course with each other. There's a lot of studies showing that "the 7 year itch" is probably biological.

Just don't get married. And realize that most people have a series of relationships through out their lives.

The most important thing you can do to keep your sex life alive?

--Dont.Have.A.Television.

Which is also great for your kids too.

For those of you who have been shut off, your prayers have been answered. The Food and Drug Administration advisers voted 18-6 on Thursday 6/4 to recommend approval for female Viagra. This NOT a joke.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-06-04/female-libido-drug-nears-approval-with-fda-panel-s-backing

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/sexual-health/fda-advisers-consider-female-viagra-n369691

No more shutoff? wrote:

For those of you who have been shut off, your prayers have been answered. The Food and Drug Administration advisers voted 18-6 on Thursday 6/4 to recommend approval for female Viagra. This NOT a joke.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-06-04/female-libido-drug-nears-approval-with-fda-panel-s-backinghttp://www.nbcnews.com/health/sexual-health/fda-advisers-consider-female-viagra-n369691

Even with female viagra and a hyper sex drive, a lot of what determines her sexual interest in you rides on how much she actually respects and cares about you. Post-nuptial shutoff has nothing to do how attractive you are to your partner, it's all about your value to her.

This hurts but it applies to me. My value seems to be getting close to zero right now.

Slayer wrote:

OldnCelibate wrote:

Like those PSAs for gay teens... it gets better.

I'm getting old, and the one thing I've noticed is that my sex drive is just dropped to almost nil.

You guys do not know how freeing this is! My brain is no longer clouded by constantly thinking about, or wanting to get p#ssy.

I'm looking forward to that. Some days I masturbate in the morning and then I'm good for the day. I hate having a sex drive.

It is LIBERATING!. It's like having been starving for years and then poof suddenly your cravings disappear and you are satisfied. You won't believe how much easier it is to concentrate on soooo many other things.

I'm 21 and have already lost my sex drive. Guess I'm off to a great start.

If I didn't have a tv how would I have seen the Dream Mile this week?

Has jamin gone into pre-nuptial shutoff?

Time for thread bump.

She's looking great, like a lil gymnast (18 yrs married; known her for 30+). Sold her on the "sleep tracking" feature of the Jawbone UP24; now she's working out like crazy. Paleo for months. You can call me Mr. Grateful, I guess.

Pics?

Beth wrote:

Still Married and Happy wrote:

First of all, if you're 25 and single and playing the field with some success you're viewed as a stud. If you're 35 and doing the same thing you may be envied by some unhappily married men, but more and more people (especially women) are starting to view you with caution - you are a commitment phobe, you're shallow, etc... If you're 45 and still playing the field you're usually viewed as either a loser or a creepy, egotistical cad. If you happen to be rich, you can surely attract younger, shallow women to be with you for a while, but it won't be love you'll be getting.

All it takes to get laid is being male. It takes a man to love.

Peace.

I agree with this 100%

Great post.

I have to stop and post here. You two people are generalizing. How about people with disabilities? I'm not talking about being ugly. I'm talking about if you have vision, hearing, bi-polar, or depression problems. That does not make you a loser.

I have to admit that I get sick of people who do not have disabilities not understanding that some of us go through life standing on first base and struggling with all our might to get to second. Meanwhile you were born on third base and go through life thinking you hit a triple.

Stop generalizing...you don't know what you don't know!!!

I know this thread has been dead for a while, but a third straight Saturday night with my wife not even thinking about sex has me upset and frustrated. Thought I would go back and re-read some of these. Not sure it helped.

tired and frustrated wrote:

I know this thread has been dead for a while, but a third straight Saturday night with my wife not even thinking about sex has me upset and frustrated. Thought I would go back and re-read some of these. Not sure it helped.

1. Buy some new stylish clothes.

2. Hit on other women. Doesn't matter if you do it well.

3. Start going to the gym. Even if you run a lot.

After a month of the above, grab your wife and kiss her passionately. Then escalate quickly - no or very little foreplay. Let the animal out of its cage.

Your move.

Just to give a little more detail...Friday night, in bed, seems like might get it. Wife says long day but we will do it tomorrow. Fine. Saturday morning, wake up, try to get some. She's not going for it, says for sure that afternoon. After grocery shopping and errands, watch a DVD. She wants to cuddle while we watch. Fine, I say OK, but let's do it naked. She says OK. Watch it naked, I am on good behavior, not "poking" her the whole time. Stop a few times to discuss the move, kiss a little. Rub her back the whole movie like she likes. After movie, stay naked on the couch and talk about summer plans. Cuddle more, and I am staying patient. She falls asleep. I start watching the Oregon - Kansas game, staying patient thinking, when she wakes up, I'm in there. She wakes up, apologizes for falling asleep, goes into the bedroom, puts on pajamas and goes to bed. Me and my rock hard Johnson have been waiting all day. Been waiting 23 out of last 24 days, which I know is not as bad as some on here, but is killing me. Ask for it every day. I'm done. Going to tell her things need to change in the morning or we need to have a serious discussion about our future. Married 23 years, one kid is out of the house.

She is quitting her teaching job this year after 10+ years. Is tired and wants some time off to do something else. Fine. I will keep working my full time job, plus the part time consulting gig I have. But after you quit, if I don't get it every other day, something's gonna change.

Heart of a Tampon wrote:

Even with female viagra and a hyper sex drive, a lot of what determines her sexual interest in you rides on how much she actually respects and cares about you. Post-nuptial shutoff has nothing to do how attractive you are to your partner, it's all about your value to her.

+1

My ex wanted the divorce because he said he was unhappy and yet our sex life was great when we had it. We even had sex a week before he asked for the divorce. I believe we were both at fault. Some days he wanted more and other times I did. I think our marriage was normal-we had our ups & downs. I lost interest in sex with him when his divorced single friends became more important than me and our kids. I would have divorced him a few years back but I stayed for the kids.

Since he found someone and probably was dating her before he asked for the divorce, it made it easier for him not to try to work on the marriage.

As soon as he filed he went on vacations with his girlfriend/bought a house and girlfriend moved in all before the divorce was final.

I was more hurt for the kids than anything because he would spend more time with his girlfriend's kids than his own. He still hasn't reached out too much to his own kids and the divorce was final last month.

Will I marry again? Nope, will I date? Yes. I'm not dead in my sex drive it's just been in hiding because I wasn't valued enough...