What is the worst / most bizarre thing you've done while drunk?

Back in college I got drunk a few times, and from what I remember, every walk back to the dorm from the bars involved laying down on the sidewalk en route and giggling uncontrollably.

i woke up in my best friend's sister's bed after a night of partying

Peed in your mother's butt. You smell.

I was wasted at a party one night and a friend got my keys. A while later I simi-remember walking up to another friends girlfriend and yelling at her to give me back my keys. Mid rant I realize she is not the person who took them so I stop yelling and walk away. Dont remember anything after. A friend tells me as everyone was leaving I saw him and discretely called him over to ask if he saw where I parked my car because I could not find it. I was sitting in the passengers seat. The girl who had my keys was in the drivers seat. Woke up the next morning naked in the downstairs hall put on my underware and stumbled to the couch. Felt like death all day just layed there and watched tv until about 4 o clock. at that point i got up to use the restroom. Opened the door and the restroom is covered (wall to wall) with bright red puke. I just shut the door and went back to the couch a little freaked out.

New years eve started drinking around 3pm and was out of it by the time we got to the party. At midnight I popped we popped our bottle of champagne but I didnt realize that i was the only one who drank any of it. At one point I was sitting at coffee table surrounded by people and had to pee. There was no room to walk around so I decided to step over the table which balance in the center. I was pushed to the side as the hostess cleaned up all of the broken glass. My best friend was just out of marine boot camp and it was just after the dave chappell rick james skits had come out. I kept calling him a bitch and at one point i slapped him. When we finally made it home we were eating leftovers from earlier that day and I slapped his plate of pasta out of his hand onto the floor. He then picked it up slammed it in my face and slapped my spagetti acoss the living room. He went to bed and I sat and watched while my sober roommate scrubbed the carpet.

The WORST thing i have done is drive home blackout drunk in a severe thunderstorm on cinco de mayo. I still dont remember coming home but all evidence points to me driving because my car was in its usual spot, my keys were in my pants pocket and I went to and left the party alone. Last thing I remeber is doing a beer bong from a makeshift donkey with the hose coming out where the penis would be. friend says he kicked everyone out because he didnt want the house all muddy and the storm was blowing in. Donkey Show on Cinco De Mayo...Pretty Clever.

I first threw up at my friend's off campus party. Then, since it had started snowing, we went outside and rode around on the hoods of our cars, sliding and throwing snowballs at each other. I fell off and got totally lost. Complete strangers picked me up and drove me back to campus. That took forever since they didn't know where my school was and I had a hard time giving them directions since everything was covered in white (and of course I was disoriented and totally wasted.) I finally made it back to my dorm where my roommate, Steve, was sleeping in the bottom bunk. He woke up when I came in ... and to top the evening off before I climbed into bed, I took a big long piss all over our dorm room floor.

I first threw up at my friend's off campus party. Then, since it had started snowing, we went outside and rode around on the hoods of our cars, sliding and throwing snowballs at each other. I fell off and got totally lost. Complete strangers picked me up and drove me back to campus. That took forever since they didn't know where my school was and I had a hard time giving them directions since everything was covered in white (and of course I was disoriented and totally wasted.) I finally made it back to my dorm where my roommate, Steve, was sleeping in the bottom bunk. He woke up when I came in ... and to top the evening off before I climbed into bed, I took a big long piss all over our dorm room floor.

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Three hood rats...at the same time.

I'm sitting at my gate in Vegas right now, and a plane load of drink guys in costume just came pouring out of the arriving plane for the SuperBowl festivities. Included were all the guys from KISS, a jockey from the OutKast video, a demon, a Knight, the Burger King, a priest, Forest Gump came running out in a white suit Nikes and a red-hat, ran the wrong way then spun around the other way running through the terminal with people yelling "Run, Forest, run!!" Some dude was a perfect Velma from Scooby Doo and received a loud ovation.

Not totally in line with some of the other stories but it seemed worthy of the thread. Vegas is the greatest place on Earth. Yay beer.

How come women aren't giving us stories about sex, turds and piss? Surely, at least, there must be some good drunk sex stories.

It was my friend's birthday so we got him a stripper. Needless to say, I got insanely drunk and ended up making out wit the stripper. I walked from this guy's apt. back onto my college campus and hid out in the business school for a while. As it was nearing Halloween, I had to get carried back to my dorm room by a guy dressed up like batman (and I'm a dude). This proves that there is true honor among drunkards.

when i was 22, i went to the bar with three teammates. our apartment was within walking distance, so we all walked. we all drank two pitchers a piece in about an hour and a half, so we were good and buzzed but not exactly schnockered.

we walked back to the apartment i shared with two teammates who wanted to go to bed. the other guy didn't live there, but wanted to go roughly a mile to a girl's apt. who he knew that was having a party. i was single at the time so i said 'why not?'

i was out of gas and my friend was out of gas, so he convinced me we should drive my other friend's s10. i mildly protested, but then relented.

long story short: a girl gave me what i thought was vodka and hawaiian punch, but was actually everclear and hawaiian punch. i decided i needed to drive several hours later (and many drinks later) after my friend banged this chick.

the s10 was a stick and i about blew the motor, almost hit several telephone poles, parked cars, and was so blacked out that i didn't turn the wheels back straight (just kept turning) when i turned into the apt. complex and pushed a parked car over the curb at about two miles per hour....my friend jumped out and said 'i'm not riding with you anymore!' and ran to hide in the bushes. i backed the truck up, drove it 100 feet around the corner, and parked it dead even between the lines. i walked upstairs, woke both of my roommates up at 2 am, told them what happened, and they called the cops. i remember none of this until the cops woke me up from the couch at 3 am, shaking me. i supposedly immediately stood up and placed my hands behind my back and they proceeded to cuff me...the arresting officer was a friend of mine, and i blew .206 three hours after my last drink, yet was coherent enough to tell him the date, my name, social, and lots of other vital information.

what a night.

I pissed in an empty Mickey's Big Mouth, resealed it to the best of my abilities, and put it back in the fridge at a party.

Felt the tits of a passed out girl.

Drove drunk with a girl sitting in my lap obscuring my already hazy vision. (I regret having driven drunk more than once.)

Nearly got in a fight with a guy from a local biker gang in Abilene. He would have killed me. In not speaking figuratively.

-pissed in shampoo, mouthwash, toothpaste, shoes or anythings else in a bathroom or closet

-hung brains at multiple parties

-dipped cock and balls into mustard of girls who shut down my friends and I and then passed out on couch with mustard trail from fridge to my now yellow stained blue shirt

-pissed in friends' fridge

-hung off side of moving bus for 2-3 miles after bus was full

-ran head first into brick wall, passed out in middle of street and was then dragged downtown to bars

-launched potatoes from balcony at cars and got most of people at party to do the same

-after being kicked out of bar, climbed through back window to sneak back in to instead jump into bedroom of couple midcoitus

-tried same feat again in other town only to break into bar storeroom and sample their beers for a while until discovered and kick out by bouncers

-pissed in drink glass at bar and place in front of girl who shut down my friends and I

-told Canadian border guards "deez nuts" after being asked if I had anything to declare, then proceeded to tell them to eat a dick

I went to school in the Minnesota. Winters there can get quite cold. One weekend I went out to the bars with a bunch of friends and we did our typical jager-bombs and whiskey shots. After about 13 drinks or so we decided we would go home. None of us wanted to drive(since we were drunk) so we started walking. It's about a 15 minute walk so really not that bad. The temperature was in the low teens at this point and I was bundled up except for my gloves. My hands were frozen. In all my glory, I had to piss as well. I guess I thought that since pee is warm I should just piss on my hands to warm them up. So I pulled down my pants stuck my hands out, and let it flow. My friends didn't stop me, they thought it was hilarious. At the time, I thought it was a genius call. We still had a couple minutes left till we were back and by the time we got back I realized it was a bad idea. The wet still on my hands got super cold. When I woke up the next morning I realized I had some minor frostbite and some foul smelling hands. Not as cool as the other ones. I just can't believe how smart I thought it was at the time.

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This thread does not surprise me in the least. You all are a bunch of no nuts Letsrun losers.

incinerated my team's trophy from the Roy Griak Invitational

Can't recall too many times that I got out of control or anything, but do recall 2 out of character instances.

1. I do remember (sorta), that one of my friends gave me a xanax one night and we proceeded to start pounding beers. The next memory I have is it being the middle of the night and we were on some random road (no idea where) attempting to smash mailboxes. Not with a bat or anything fancy, actually getting out and punching, kicking, pulling. I think we messed a couple up good, but cut my hands up pretty good.

It probably would have kept going on until we saw headlights in the distance and I attempted to run back to the car, but tripped and fell in the street cutting myself up even moreso. Since I'm here now, I'm assuming we made it home.

2. This isn't as fun a story, but was hanging out at a friends house, real low-key night. I hadn't drank in a couple months and was mixing vodka and OJ. On my third glass someone commented how strong it was and I wasn't even tasting it. That should have been a clear-cut clue, but I kept on drinking. Next thing I know there's a trashpail being thrown in my face just in time for me to puke in front of everyone.

Fortunately a friend drove me and my car home that night. When I did get home, I tried taking a shower, but after laying on the floor and listening to the water for a minute I decided was too messed up. Stumbled down to my room, naked, and lied down on the floor. It was at that moment that I realized I needed to take a dump, but was way too weak to make it back to the toilet. So I summoned up all my strength and cunning, hoisted myself up over my garbage pail and let it all go. Not sure what I did with the bag...

It was a pretty low point.