What are your redflags on dating apps that instantly make you swipe left?

Wow dude wrote:

OozmaKappa wrote:

Found another one. If views different from yours offend you so much maybe stay holed up in your safespace echochamber.

I’m not offended, I just think you’re genuinely stupid and detached from reality, and you’re a walking stereotype that makes your political party look bad.

Zero self awareness. Not surprising from the guy siding with the lunatic who randomly started ranting about Trump.

This is interesting to me. I am female in my 40s and on dating apps for the first time. I am trying to be open about men but there are definitely turn offs and patterns. YES I read the profiles and do decide accordingly.

Red flags:

- Selfies in bed (just weird)

- Too much focus on what they are looking for and any kind of evaluation I must make of myself to know if I am suitable to them (like do I have my sh-- together? Do I light up a room? How do I know? Just tell me who YOU are)

- Any focus AT ALL about what they are NOT looking for (I don't want an axe murderer but that's not in my profile. To me this is basically an unloading about their previous relationship traumas)

- Poly/ non monogamy, etc.

- NO PICTURE (Out of curiosity I wanted to know what super special "job" someone had that they couldn't be seen on a dating app... there aren't any. They are just unattractive or taken)

- ANY kind of instruction or warnings (like we are there already? "I won't message you back/don't message me unless you are going to message me back/not into hookups/not paying for dates" etc)

- Partying pictures (these are men in their 40s, 50s)

- No clear pics, older pics, filtered pics... guys, just like you can see the difference, so can we

- Any pics with another woman, even if she is brushed out... like, really?

- Motorcycle pics (this just might be me as I always seem to date guys with them so I really don't care and find it weird that it is advertised)

- Looking for something that is unreasonable. I have seen "exclusive lover" and "casual but committed" UMMM What the fudge does that even mean??? To me it sounds like a guy wants to be uncommitted but exclusive. Are you insane? Why on earth would anyone sign up for that? It also sounds like entitlement to me which is something I detest more than anything... if you are looking for monogamous relationship that's cool, but everyone understands that it is something that is deserved or worked towards.

- Hunting pics with huge dead animals (yeah where I live nearly every guy has a fishing pic... but a large mammal is impressive, sure, but just weird to me)

- The usual - looks too old ESPECIALLY for the age given... I have had age liars before and it's a deal breaker if I find out you lied about your age.

- Overweight.. I spend a lot of time trying to look younger and fit... I weigh 120 pounds so I think it's not asking a lot to have someone relatively fit. This usually means dating a physical labourer in my area though...

Preferences but not deal breakers:

Hair

Tall

Lean

Have kids

Having been married before

Good education

Chatting red flags:

AGE LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have asked before if their age was correct and was told it wasn't. I can't even believe that people do this and then justify it.

Still live with ex

Just separated

ANY entitlement to my time: asking why I wasn't free, asking why I didn't respond faster, not making clear plans but then expecting me to wait around.

Incessant chatting/texting/calling but not making plans

NOT sending me a pic when asked (HAHAHAHA... I have started asking for them too (just a face shot) .. it's hilarious how guys respond... some will send a snap right away and some hesitate or ask questions about it... to me it says a lot. If I am willing to participate and send pictures, why aren't you?

RACEY LADY wrote:

This is interesting to me. I am female in my 40s and on dating apps for the first time. I am trying to be open about men but there are definitely turn offs and patterns. YES I read the profiles and do decide accordingly.

Red flags:

- Too much focus on what they are looking for and any kind of evaluation I must make of myself to know if I am suitable to them (like do I have my sh-- together? Do I light up a room? How do I know? Just tell me who YOU are)

- Any focus AT ALL about what they are NOT looking for (I don't want an axe murderer but that's not in my profile. To me this is basically an unloading about their previous relationship traumas)

oh, this is good one too. Goes for the chat as well as bios.

I think a lot of men have been influenced by some pick-up artist material, believe that women only like taking about themselves. I am good at talking about myself/carrying on an interesting conversation in this regard, but it will do nothing to make me interested in you... if this is all you do after a few exchanges I will be ghosting. And yes, I try to ask questions/change the subject to get more from them but often it gets bounced back to me. Just... have something to say for yourself.

Don't mind fishing/hunting pictures. It shows that you have a hobby and some practical outdoor skills.

Red flag is using dating apps. Means you dont really do anything interesting that lets you meet new people

OozmaKappa wrote:

Wow dude wrote:

I’m not offended, I just think you’re genuinely stupid and detached from reality, and you’re a walking stereotype that makes your political party look bad.

Zero self awareness. Not surprising from the guy siding with the lunatic who randomly started ranting about Trump.

Please enlighten me as to how I have zero self awareness

sayyestonepotism wrote:

Red flag is using dating apps. Means you dont really do anything interesting that lets you meet new people

How else do I meet women? I'm short, small & skinny - not exactly the most attractive body type. I have a great personality & can talk about just anything but I have anxiety meeting girls face to face. It doesn't help either that I'm a beta & feel more comfortable alone than with a group of people. 🤐

men who post tv shows and/or sports teams as their main interests.

RACEY LADY wrote:

This is interesting to me. I am female in my 40s and on dating apps for the first time. I am trying to be open about men but there are definitely turn offs and patterns. YES I read the profiles and do decide accordingly.

Red flags:

- NO PICTURE (Out of curiosity I wanted to know what super special "job" someone had that they couldn't be seen on a dating app... there aren't any. They are just unattractive or taken)

Precisely.

I've heard this from almost all of my female friends who use dating apps. NEVER, EVER swipe "yes" or even view the profile of a guy (or girl) with no picture.

What the person with no pic thinks:

1. "I want them to get to know the real me before they see what I look like" OR

2. "I don't want anyone to find out that I am on here:"

What this translates to by anyone viewing the profile:

1. "You're really unattractive"

2. "You're married/in a relationship and don't want to come across someone who might find out you are cheating"

MatthewW wrote:

for me:

Smokes

Instagram link

Tattoos

Piercings

Vegan

Into rap

Dyed hair

Any sociology/psychology major/degree

That’s a great list! Spot on

This is one hell of an incel party in these responses...