Post-nuptial shutoff?

You're a tool. Marriage isn't all about sex. I guess maybe an uncommitted homosexual relationship is...figures....

I'm going to lend playsfortheotherteam some support on this one. I think what he says is pretty insightful.

I feel similarly. Interesting perspective.

Cheers,

nas

Woman's Perspective wrote:

Professional Sexual Consultant wrote:

That's^exactly f*cking right. It is indeed still a taboo, unfortunately, for women to have multiple partners. But they desire, even crave, variety as a much as a man. They are human beings after all. We are not as different sexually as is represented. The human condition is not suited for long-term monogamous relationships without a great deal of effort and sacrifice.

Drives me crazy. A woman should be free to f*ck freely as a much as a male.

Nope. I think what you folks mean to say is that women cheat or seek it as much as men, that is not the same as desiring the same amount of partners and variety as men do. . Women seek stability, although it could be with the guy next door. Men fantasize far more about having tons of partners, unlikey that it will play out that way for most men, but they basically want to have sex with every attractive woman they see, and most of the less attractive ones too.

Leprachaun 3 wrote:

Nope. I think what you folks mean to say is that women cheat or seek it as much as men, that is not the same as desiring the same amount of partners and variety as men do. . Women seek stability, although it could be with the guy next door. Men fantasize far more about having tons of partners, unlikey that it will play out that way for most men, but they basically want to have sex with every attractive woman they see, and most of the less attractive ones too.

Women don't like to admit it, but they do seek and want variety. That's why the sex usually goes dull or ends after a few years in a relationship. Women desire excitement as much as a man and that typically takes the form of new partners. However, you are free to believe what you want to believe.

Just curious how some of you guys are doing now that the year is 3/4 over.

I'm doing great. Bachelorhood for the win.

308 and counting. First year keeping track but it seems normal to me - not high, not low.

Recently single and happy, but LRC says I'm gay.

Update? wrote:

Just curious how some of you guys are doing now that the year is 3/4 over.

What do you think? Rolls the eyes...

Pre-nuptial shutoff...0 for the year so far.

boogsbbq4ever wrote:

Pre-nuptial shutoff...0 for the year so far.

Are you for real? Married? Seriously? I just don't understand how this is possible unless you are over 70 or something.

What the heck do you do? I'd go insane.

Humpty Dumpty wrote:

boogsbbq4ever wrote:

Pre-nuptial shutoff...0 for the year so far.

Are you for real? Married? Seriously? I just don't understand how this is possible unless you are over 70 or something.

What the heck do you do? I'd go insane.

If the woman's not interesed, not much you can do short of looking elsewhere. And believe me, that happens a lot more than you or others on this forum might think. I would estimate that at least 1/3 of married men are seeking their sexual satisfaction outside the marriage. Those are just the cold, hard facts of married life.

Read through a good amount of this thread (10 pages- working through the rest. It seems like marriage can go either way with a serious bend towards shut-off/rapid decline, at least in this sample size.

My question is - any ideas for a trial run for whether or not you can predict it? Any pre-marriage markers to know whether or not she'll continue/you'll be able to keep her interested (recognize there needs to be some male self-review).

I'm in a place where I'm considering marriage and have been in a committed relationship for about 2 or so years. I like her for the right reasons (smart, caring etc) and for the shallow ones (thin, attractive). Our frequency has definitely declined, but still 5 or so times per week. The real decline has been in quality- seems I'm initiating/its always happening before bedtime. I think a lot of it has been due to an increase in stress/heavy workload but obviously it could be me making excuses for her in order to remain optimistic. I do all the right things I can (seriously), and I'm not a fat slob (never had a problem finding action out of relationship). My appetite is pretty robust, so if it were forever on the decline it would be a problem for me.

So any good ways to benchmark the likelihood of success post-marriage?

If its declining already, it will continue to do so. Kids will make it worse most likely.

Sex isn't a reason to marry or not marry the one you love.

23rd anniversary yesterday.

Did it last Wednesday, and then on Saturday and Sunday.

We do it at about that frequency for 3 weeks out of the month.

Not Married but Worried wrote:

Read through a good amount of this thread (10 pages- working through the rest. It seems like marriage can go either way with a serious bend towards shut-off/rapid decline, at least in this sample size.

...

So any good ways to benchmark the likelihood of success post-marriage?

Look, it is really very simple. Make your sexual needs clear before making any commitment. No, I do not mean assume that she can figure it out. Tell her, USING WORDS, exactly what your expectations are.

I made the mistake that everyone makes in their first marriage. I suffered the same fate. Before I got married the second time I was very clear that I would be needing sex twice a day for the foreseeable future (at least 30 years). She could have bailed then and we would both have been better off if that did not work for her. Instead, she said yes and we both know that sex at least twice a day is part of the picture. Have been in my second marriage for eight years and there is no slowdown. My needs have not taken her by surprise and we both went into it with eyes wide open.

I know that you think you could never have that conversation with your GF/fiancee. But if you can't then that pretty much tells you everything about your so-called relationship. And it pretty much predicts everything that will inevitably follow should you get married.

Bump, I'm bored.

Any new guys to the board slowly realizing that married life ain't what it's cracked up to be?

BUMP-DE-BUMP