Post-nuptial shutoff?

Marriage Counselor wrote:

For whateveer reason, women generally lose interest in sex once they're married after some time. There are exceptions of course, but the odds are not on your side for a prolonged and satisfying sexual relationship.

I would say the interest in sex isn't gone, just sex with her husband. I'm sure they'd have interest in sex with someone else. Unfortunately we live in a culture where that's a taboo. I think women are interested in variety just like men are, but are socially conditioned more than men are to think it's not ok.

go west wrote:

notgonnabeme wrote:

I'm dating a girl who thinks sex is important. She says she wants to have regular sex when she's married. I guess I'm just lucky!!

My wife also said that she thought regular sex was important to a relationship. Now we're married & I've found out that regular for her means once a week, no oral for me or her, and only in the position she is most comfortable in (missionary). So my point is to clarify with your girlfriend if you're going to marry her.

She defines regular as every other day... so I think I will be in good shape! She also promises that sex will be just as important after marriage! I found a good one!

How naive. She can't say what she will feel like in the future, especially after kids and hormones. She may end up being the same old dried up selffish piece most women are.

uhhh... wrote:

Marriage Counselor wrote:

For whateveer reason, women generally lose interest in sex once they're married after some time. There are exceptions of course, but the odds are not on your side for a prolonged and satisfying sexual relationship.

I would say the interest in sex isn't gone, just sex with her husband. I'm sure they'd have interest in sex with someone else. Unfortunately we live in a culture where that's a taboo. I think women are interested in variety just like men are, but are socially conditioned more than men are to think it's not ok.

Exactly. Most of the guys here do not want to believe this - but I am 99% certain that their wives are having hot sex with themselves before telling them they are to tired to do it with them. There is a want of variety, but also women want to be wooed and not taken for granted. That, too, gets old.

uhhh... wrote:

Marriage Counselor wrote:

For whateveer reason, women generally lose interest in sex once they're married after some time. There are exceptions of course, but the odds are not on your side for a prolonged and satisfying sexual relationship.

I would say the interest in sex isn't gone, just sex with her husband. I'm sure they'd have interest in sex with someone else. Unfortunately we live in a culture where that's a taboo. I think women are interested in variety just like men are, but are socially conditioned more than men are to think it's not ok.

That's^exactly f*cking right. It is indeed still a taboo, unfortunately, for women to have multiple partners. But they desire, even crave, variety as a much as a man. They are human beings after all. We are not as different sexually as is represented. The human condition is not suited for long-term monogamous relationships without a great deal of effort and sacrifice.

Professional Sexual Consultant wrote:

uhhh... wrote:

I would say the interest in sex isn't gone, just sex with her husband. I'm sure they'd have interest in sex with someone else. Unfortunately we live in a culture where that's a taboo. I think women are interested in variety just like men are, but are socially conditioned more than men are to think it's not ok.

That's^exactly f*cking right. It is indeed still a taboo, unfortunately, for women to have multiple partners. But they desire, even crave, variety as a much as a man. They are human beings after all. We are not as different sexually as is represented. The human condition is not suited for long-term monogamous relationships without a great deal of effort and sacrifice.

Drives me crazy. A woman should be free to f*ck freely as a much as a male.

"A key which opens many locks is a valuable key, but a lock which can be opened by many keys is a worthless lock."

notgonnabeme wrote:

go west wrote:

My wife also said that she thought regular sex was important to a relationship. Now we're married & I've found out that regular for her means once a week, no oral for me or her, and only in the position she is most comfortable in (missionary). So my point is to clarify with your girlfriend if you're going to marry her.

She defines regular as every other day... so I think I will be in good shape! She also promises that sex will be just as important after marriage! I found a good one!

Young man - you don't have any idea what you're talking about. A relationship 10yrs down the road is almost always far different than how it is in its infancy.

off the leash wrote:

uhhh... wrote:

I would say the interest in sex isn't gone, just sex with her husband. I'm sure they'd have interest in sex with someone else. Unfortunately we live in a culture where that's a taboo. I think women are interested in variety just like men are, but are socially conditioned more than men are to think it's not ok.

Exactly. Most of the guys here do not want to believe this - but I am 99% certain that their wives are having hot sex with themselves before telling them they are to tired to do it with them. There is a want of variety, but also women want to be wooed and not taken for granted. That, too, gets old.

In my considerable experience, variety is even more desired by women than men. They are not inclined to admit it due to social norms as pointed out above, but they do indeed thrive on it. Women seek a long-term partner for economic support and to provide assistance with children, not for sexual satisfaction. Just remember that when you enter a relationship.

Sex Therapist wrote:

In my considerable experience, variety is even more desired by women than men. They are not inclined to admit it due to social norms as pointed out above, but they do indeed thrive on it. Women seek a long-term partner for economic support and to provide assistance with children, not for sexual satisfaction. Just remember that when you enter a relationship.

I tend to disagree.

I agree that women want long term support, and will do anything to keep that charade going - just giving enough sexual satisfaction to the guy to keep him at bay. When the woman feels that the male in the relationship can no longer provide for her. She will shut him off completely, break up with him or divorce him. It's funny how THEY collect a check for doing that.

My soon to be ex-wife had one of the craziest sexual appetites of anyone that I had ever dated. The summer that we met consisted of us having sex twice a day for months. We'd have sex in her car, my car, at friend's weddings, at parties, on lunchbreaks. We got married and the sex stopped completely.

I see it her using SEX to SEDUCE me into marriage. For her, marriage something she wanted to accomplish - the end all, be all of her existence. A race she trained for by banging my brains out. Once she felt that once she had WON that race, she could take off the JERSEY and retire.

Of course, I was left dumbfounded by what happened. I wondered what I did wrong. The reality was she had control over me sexually, but she couldn't control me outside of the bedroom - which made her basically loathe me. Forgive me for being firm on the decisions that I make.

After I file for divorce and move on, I see her going through another sexual awakening to reel another guy in. It's NOT the sex guys, it's the power.

oranges wrote:

robert paulson wrote:

Well he didn't say he was single, he only said she is.

Actually, he did not.

You're right. I was going to change my reply after typing it to say he only inferred she is single but felt too lazy and just hit post message instead.

Had a very similar experience with my ex. She was a total and complete f*ck slut before we were married. She was open to any and everything and I do mean ANY and EVERYTHING. Within a year, it had been reduced to nothing more than a drivel once every 2 wks. Not even worth the effort. Everything unraveled within another year and that was that.

In my considerable experience, variety is even more desired by women than men. They are not inclined to admit it due to social norms as pointed out above, but they do indeed thrive on it. Women seek a long-term partner for economic support and to provide assistance with children, not for sexual satisfaction. Just remember that when you enter a relationship.

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BS!! Completely wrong.

This was definitely written by a woman. In the animal world (include humans) variety is a male thing. Been PROVEN many times. Much more of a species survival advantage for a male to attempt to mate with many females.

Why does LRC attract such well adjusted, insightful, emotionally mature men?

Carry on, losers.

may I suggest some therapy wrote:

Why does LRC attract such well adjusted, insightful, emotionally mature men?

Carry on, losers.

No, this was definitely written by a woman.

Stretchy wrote:

In my considerable experience, variety is even more desired by women than men. They are not inclined to admit it due to social norms as pointed out above, but they do indeed thrive on it. Women seek a long-term partner for economic support and to provide assistance with children, not for sexual satisfaction. Just remember that when you enter a relationship.

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BS!! Completely wrong.

This was definitely written by a woman. In the animal world (include humans) variety is a male thing. Been PROVEN many times. Much more of a species survival advantage for a male to attempt to mate with many females.

Scientific studies over the last 10yrs have proven this not necessarily to be the case. Females primates were just as likely to take on multiple partners (in some cases, many more) as their male counterparts. Do your homework before you opine on something you obviously know nothing about.

In the animal kingdom, many females have males compete for them, and her sex goes to the winner, not necessarily the one she was with because she wants the best seed for offspring. Women arw no different. If something better comes along wait and see what happens. Male animals want to sow their seed with many females to ensure the bloodline. Its the same with humans. Its biological. Any refraining from this behavior in humans is because of repression of societal values and that dag gone bible. Now we have poeople trapped in marriage with the same sex partners. No wonder men get shut off. Men as a whole disappoint women i think. We don't live up to who they thought they could mould us into becoming. When it fails they get pissed and no longer want to make us happy. If you are happy in a marriage and love someone you want to please them and make them feel good. Knowing your "lover" has a desire for release or to be close to you and then refusing to abide in those wishes repeatedly is a sign there is really no love. For those of you in those marriages, wake up! Sexless marriages are loveless marriages. That doesn't mean divorce necessarily but it is a sign something is wrong. You can always try to work to get it back but it takes effort on both ends.

David Scott Freeman wrote:

I see it her using SEX to SEDUCE me into marriage. For her, marriage something she wanted to accomplish - the end all, be all of her existence. A race she trained for by banging my brains out. Once she felt that once she had WON that race, she could take off the JERSEY and retire.

Of course, I was left dumbfounded by what happened. I wondered what I did wrong. The reality was she had control over me sexually, but she couldn't control me outside of the bedroom - which made her basically loathe me. Forgive me for being firm on the decisions that I make.

After I file for divorce and move on, I see her going through another sexual awakening to reel another guy in. It's NOT the sex guys, it's the power.

see,,,thats why you should NOT be having sex before marriage.

you didnt really and truly get to know the person because you were so blinded by the p u s s y. the power that it had on you made you forget everything else.

don't be so dumb, men!

A lot of oeople get to know someone but still have sex before marriage. Actually going through the ceremony doesn't help you know anyone any better. People grow closer when they have sex. It helps build intimacy. Not doing so before marriage which is just either a stupid ceremony in front of friends or a silly government process, is stupid. I see young christian men all the time marry way too soo because they can't wait to get the all powerful p u s s y as you out it.