I listed my "PRs" on my resume, and now the chickens have come home to roost.

I do read LR. And i always knew that you were a fraud. Your work sucks, you are an embarrassment to the company and now you are apparently god awful slow runner. Don't worry. I have already made a job offer to the "ringer" who will be joining our ranks in two weeks and will run for the company. He will surely win us the little plastic trophy that I covet so much.

As you are not liked by your peers, your work is below par, and you are apparently a liar; consider yourself terminated. But now I have a moral dilemma, as I do appreciate the occasional bj/hummer that your girlfriend throws my way after hours in hopes of advancing your sorry career. So, if she wishes to continue this twice per week ritual she is more than welcomed.

ugh. go away. that was awful.

"Run until you puke" isn't going to work. After you give the Technicolor now to the stomach gods, everyone is going to expect you to stand up and finish the week.

I'm afraid you'll have to resort to more dire means to save you from your predicament. 15 minutes before the race, drink 12 ounces of miralax. Start strong, and hit that first split with the leaders then let fly the angry pent up pyroclastic mud flows. As the warm gasciuos explosion soils your shorts and stains your shoes, I guarantee that even your boss will be screaming for you to drop out.

If not for those GI issues, you would have delivered on your promise of glory for the office. And no one will accuse you of not having left it all on the course.

0/10

Corporate 5Ker wrote:

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the continued advice! Just to let you all know, I'm not looking for excuses. I'm gonna go compete and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak.

Just because you started this thread doesn't mean you get to dictate which way it turns.

Someone just gave real good advice about going out hard and making a wrong turn as a good excuse to not finish well but look like you were going to win.

It is likely that your boss reads Let's Run. Hurry up and edit your original post to take out some of the identifying information. If he's as much of a running stats freak as it sounds, asking for your PR, he probably does or may read this in the future so you had better change some of the facts so it's fuzzy whether this is you writing the post.

As for what to do now... train your best and run your best that day. Everyone has a bad day. You can just say you were having a bad day, claiming that you have the flu but didn't want to let the company down so you tried to run it anyway.

Next time don't lie.

Corporate 5Ker wrote:

This morning I got up and ate a couple Poptarts before going out for and easy 3 miles and I finished with some strides.

.

This isn't high school. You need a little something more useful to your body than a pop tart in the morning, then three complete meals.

The last thing we need is you doing something (fake) stupid because you aren't eating right.

Loving this thread though. Very entertaining.

Update?

Whoa,

Someone admitted on Let's Run that they are a liar?

So it ain't so, Brojo's.

Hi everyone,

Long time, no post. As an update, things have gone great with my training. I got my mileage up to 60 a week and have stayed steady there while doing a fair amount of interval and tempo workouts. Legs are feeling fresh and fast! Even better news: I ran a 5K road race this past Sunday and went 17:42. That time is still kind of far away from where I want to be, but considering where I started, I'm very happy with the time, and I felt like I had more in the tank during the race.

Anyway, I've got a bit of a problem that I need to solve today. My girlfriend has been pestering me to go to The Cape with her for the 4th to visit her family. Although it is usually a decent time, I never end up running while I'm out there (her family gives me a hard time about it, so I just don't bother), and I know that a trip now could derail my training. She wants to leave tomorrow morning and come back Tuesday. So that would be 3 days (Saturday, Sunday, Monday) of likely no running, and two travel days (likely with heavy traffic) that will probably hurt my runs on those days.

The race is on Thursday, July 14th (exactly two weeks from today). Taking any time off from running right now could seriously hurt my chances of winning the race. I'm feeling like I have a big race in me, and I don't want anything to screw that up.

What excuses can I use to get out of visiting my girlfriend's family this weekend? I need something TODAY. I have a late dinner scheduled with my girlfriend (8:00) tonight, so I've got about 12 hours to come up with a bullet proof excuse.

All advice is appreciated. Thanks!

Why are people giving advice here ? If work my butt off to achieve a time then someone lying and saying they have ran quicker is as bad as doping in my book!

Why are people giving advice here ? If work my butt off to achieve a time then someone lying and saying they have ran quicker is as bad as doping in my book!

Listen, OP. Try to do whatever is necessary to get out of this cape trip. The race is in 2 weeks and you are looking good to win but you need to maintain your fitness. Only you know whether it's best to lie to your gf or try to explain the situation.

However, if you can't come up with anything, you gotta run, do strides, find a track, etc while at the cape. Don't let her family give you a hard time about it, they're just upset that you're reminding them how unfit they are. You're an adult, you call the shots. Set aside 1-2 hours a day to train and spend the rest of the time with them.

You can get up early and run at the Cape, or you can run whenever you like and learn to deal with your girlfriend's parents, or you can tell your girlfriend that you are going to pass on the vacation. You shouldn't have to make excuses. Going through life lying to hide your perceived inadequacies or to avoid insignificant conflicts will not serve you well.

If your post isn't a trolling attempt, you will have no problem running at the Cape. Simply tell the GF (Surely she knows what's going on right) and parents what's going on and how this affects your job and there is no way they will give you a hard time. Nice try, but you are losing credibility with me.

Run long and hard today and you won't lose anything.

A trip next weekend may be OK but this is the last push of hard workouts before you taper and peak.

What you need to do is admit to a fake affair to your girlfriend.

Or friend and ex maybe.

Just get her pissed at you so she doesn't want to see this weekend and stay home and train.

Then spend the next two weekends mending fences but don't see her.

Women weaken legs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7f3Myw8a_0

Just run at the Cape. Seriously. How old are you? Just do what you want to do. Who cares what friends and family think when you spend an hour a day running. Just ignore them.

As for the 3 day trip, my goal would be to get 2 easy to medium runs in. Then get some rest.

OK. I got it. This is what you do. You go to dinner with your girlfriend Morgan Fairchild and about two hours after eating ... YOU PUKE!!! That's right! Make sure she sees it. And then you say you couldn't possibly go on the trip since you're sick, and that she should go ahead and have fun.

Puking is always the answer. Trust me bro. Start practicing now.