What is the worst / most bizarre thing you've done while drunk?

At a houseparty when i was 18 i decided it would be a good idea to climb onto the roof and jump off. Didn't even hurt at the time, but when i woke up the next morning i tried to stand up and fell over. I couldn't walk for like two days.

Different house party (at the same house) someone dared me to take a shot from a bottle of one of those "Instant death" type chilli sauce things. Now, i like my spicy food so there was no way i was going to turn dowen the bet. Unfortunately i was too drunk, missed my mouth, got it in my eye instead and temporarily went blind.

Cheers to all the dead letsrunners who could not tell us their funny stories today.

Similar to the guy above me, I decided to pole vault a fence using some metal rod I found. Got over and landed right on some wooden board on the other side, walked funny for a week.

Watched BME pain olympics when I was trashed with some friends, puked all over the place. Watch that video, it is f***ed up.

Many more that I don't remember.

This thread is so great I feel the need to expand upon my stories.

1) Pissed on my Dad in HS

I was a junior in HS and a fairly novice drinker at the time. I met up with friends late on a Friday night chugged six Mike's hard lemonades. For some reason I had to go home almost immediately, so I drove the mile back to my house, pounding two more Mike's in the process. The next morning I woke up and my Dad asked me if I had been drinking. I, of course, lied and said I hadn't been. He said he knew I had been because I walked into his room at 3 am and pissed all over his feet. We never spoke about that incident again, though I proceeded to pee on the kitchen floor a month later.

2) Ate food out of the garbage disposal

It was the end of the semester at school and all my roommates and I had run out of meal plan money. I got wasted and decided that I would mix all the canned goods in our cubert together. The concoction included a few cans of refried beans, corn, pickled sausages (that we used to shoot out of a paintball gun), and various other canned veggies. The refried beans made the who mess look so repulsive I poured it all out. I proceeded to get even more drunk that night and came home with the late night munchies. Unfortunately there was NOTHING in the house to eat, except for the concoction I had made earlier that was still in the garbage disposal. I proceeded to reach in and eat handfuls of mush out of the sink. One of my proudest moments.

3) Threw a Christmas tree at a cop (and got away with it)

My roommates and I decided to hold a Christmas party. On the night of the party I left them to setup and went out to pre-game at another friends party. I blacked out before our party even began. Luckily I woke up mid-party and walked downstairs to join in the festivities of our party. Everyone cheered for my rally, or maybe they cheered because my roommates had drawn penises all over my face and I didn't realize it. None the less I proceeded to drink my face off. Sometime around 3 am, as the party was winding down, I decided to take the "Christmas tree" we had cut down from the nearby national forest and smash it against the pavement in the parking lot. Mind you I didn't have a shirt on. As I'm repeatedly smashing the tree into the pavement I notice a cop walking up to me. Certain I'll be arrested, I throw the tree at him and sprint through the front door of my house and out the back. I ran about a mile through the woods before stopping and walking back. My roommates, in their boxers wearing santa hats with no shirts(and underage), convinced the cop that I had everyone's ID and was the one who had purchased the kegs they were benching. Somehow no one was arrested.

4) Tried to cook a kitten (sorry kitty)

I got black out at another Christmas party. My friends were taking care of me as I puked all over our bathroom. I had adopted an orphaned kitten which I had named Dinosaur. Apparently in my drunken stupor I wanted to hold the kitten. My roommates graciously brought the kitten to my side while I puked into the toilet. My explosive vomitting must have scared dinosaur, who clawed her way from my hands leaving huge cuts all over my chest. Pissed off I turned on the oven and looked for the kitten to cook. Luckily my roommates thought better of the situation. Dinosuar is now happily living with a friend who adopted her.

5) Nudity, lots of nudity. Naked runs.

My forte was placing my rather large ballsack on the unsuspecting shoulders of women. Lovely reaction every time.

I'm slightly older and, usually, wiser now. No STDs, no arrests, and working my way towards a successful career. Hopefully many non-alcohol fueled stories to tell in the future.

the diceman wrote:

I'd like to hear some more stories from this guy. Pretty compelling stuff, actually.

Not really - mostly bragging (exaggerating?) about all the chicks he banged with his junk while too drunk to even enjoy it. What a prick.

The thread is worst/most bizarre - stuff like jumping off roofs and peeing in shampoo.

I once pretended to be breaking a window at a party we'd just been kicked out of. I smashed a bottle on the ground and everyone took off running,thinking I'd done it. In our state, we all tripped over each other and fell down all over. At the workout Monday I found out we one runner with a sprained ankle, another with a badly bruised knee and one guy with a back so messed up he was out for the rest of the year. I felt pretty bad for that guy.

I went up to Scranton Univ. one night with my friends to one of our female friends apartment on campus. It was a keg party, but I typically like to drink a little before I start up with beer so a bought a pint of Jack Daniels and then began to drink my beer. There was this girl their that I eventually ended up going upstairs into her room with her. She wasn't the prettiest girl in the world but I was drunk at this point. After having sex with her, I had to urinate. When I drink I piss like crazy. I was in my boxers and did not feel like going out to the hallway so instead I found a plastic cub in her room and proceeded to piss in it. Realizing there was a crack in the cup did not stop me from pissing. I must have pissed five or six more times through out the course of the night into that cup, leting the urine leak all over the floor eventually soaking the rug. The next morning her friends walked in, some barefoot and some with socks on asking why the rug was soaking wet. I didn't tell them that they were stepping in my piss. Oh yeah- and I also found out that the girl that I had sex with also had sex with one of my friends earlier in the night which I found to be pretty disgusting-- but what are you gonna do

I was at a frat party with a friend. we were in the basement and these frat boys were playing beer pong . One guy was looking for a partner and they all deceided to run up stairs to look for there friend to be this one guys partner. Before they left they had filled the cups. I had to really pee and so my friend was the look out and i pissed in all the cups. When they came back they brought alot of friends i stood in the back on the room and watched as all of them drank my piss. One guy said \\\"THis beer is skunked but it still gets you drunk\\\". After they had finished i got the hell out of there. I had a pick on my cell phone if it a proof i did it.

One night was introduced to this really cute chick when I had a couple friends over. We got wasted and preceded to engage in sexual mischievous acts. Locked in my room we tore up my sheets and while having unprotected sex, started fisting her in her you know where. Woke up the next morning, the guest room was filled with naked people, camera filled with pictures, my room a total mess and my bed brown and stinky as rotten fish. The girl was gone and I didn't hear from her or about her for two weeks. Then two weeks later found out that she turned hard core buddist the following day and a lesbian who till this day remains cellubit and won't allow anyone to touch her. My bad!

Okay ... after reading all of these disgusting things, I decided maybe my story wasn't all that bad.

The gf and I were pretty wasted, started to fool around and then hit the hall and passed out. I woke an hour or so later and was still horny. She was still out of it but let me do whatever I wanted. After watching way too much porn over the years, I wanted to do the facial deposit. Did the deed and fell asleep. The next morning the gf woke up and we chatted for a few minutes. She felt something on her face and proceeded to peel off the evidence. Not having a clue what had happened, she tasted it to see what it was. It didn't faze her and just peeled the rest off. I never said a word, she didn't say a word about it and to this day I don't know if she knows what happened. Damn ... I feel like a jerk.

Haha, that is absolutely hilarious. I love the not talking about it part and her taking it in stride. Well done.

why do so many of you piss and shit yourselves? have some control! lol

I was in a Galway pub, chatting up some American girl, totally pissed, though it was only 6pm. It seemed to be going rather well, so when my mates went home to study, they just winked and left me there. The next thing I remember, it was 1am and I was in line for a club. The bouncer said I was too drunk, I was very polite (I'm always a polite drunk) and he told me to get a cup of coffee and come back. I go across the street to Supermac's, and get a cup of coffee, but I trip and drop it before I can have a sip. I look up, and the bouncer is staring at me. I shrug and smile--he just shakes his head and lets me in.

The next thing I remember, I'm in the middle of the club, making out with a different girl. There's a circle of Irish guys around me, calling "Jesse! Jesse!" (My name's not Jesse.)

The next thing I know, it's 6:30 am. I'm walking home through a strange neighborhood, my shirt untucked and hair all over the place. I walk for over an hour before I see a landmark that I know. I work my way back home, but then I realize that I have class in 10 minutes. I have a weird compulsion about going to class. I've never missed one (high school through grad school). So I stumble into my seminar. Unfortunately, I had to sit next to the cutest girl I'd ever seen in Ireland. I spent the entire class breathing heavily and trying to hold back vomit, while she stared at me, horrified.

For months after that night, everywhere I went, Irish guys would wave at me, slap my back, and give me high fives, all the time calling me Jesse.

p.s. In a similar situation, I took the walk of shame on the morning after Halloween, dressed as Luke Skywalker. Again, I didn't have time to make it to my place, so I went straight to class. I gave a Spanish presentation, only mildly buzzed, and got an A.

Hosted an xc recruit at college. He was a friend of mine and also a footlocker xc finalist and my coach both wanted and expected him to commit. He had never drank before, but wanted to experience college life on his visit. He asked me not to drink so that I could make sure that he was ok. Well, I was hammered at 8:30pm when he showed up and continued to drink throughout the night, all while assuring him that he was doing great and handing him more drinks. After stumbling back to my dorm, terrorizing the other recruits,and telling kids that he was "Gonna jizz all over them," my recruit decided that he wasn't feeling very good and proceeded to puke in the middle of our common room while our girls team watched him. He was moaning and crying and saying something about how he was burning up, so I bought a couple 20 ounce cokes and poured them all over him. My roommate and I then dragged him, now in only his underwear, up two flights of stairs and past our RA. I woke up on the floor in the morning to more of his moaning and crying. He was in my bed, soaking wet and covered in his own puke. Needless, to say I felt terrible for him and he ended up at a rival school.

You should tell us who it is

- got drunk on hard stuff and passed out. Woke up almost face down in a puddle of my own puke in a beanbag chair as a roomful of people were watching and laughing at me. Friend said if I'd started to suffocate, he would have saved me, but only then.

- got revenge on same friend later when he drove me home and I rolled down the window and puked on side of his dad's car in 10 degree weather. Said dad was pissed to find frozen puke on his car in the morning.

- several times tried to molest various girls at parties

- making out with a girl in her back seat of car. Puked all over her tits. She kicks me out and I stumble 2 miles home. She breaks up with me next day.

- Walked up and down street I live on hugging and kissing trees, and spinning around and falling in snow. Cop pulls over and asks me if I'm ok. I manage to walk home.

- When I was in college, doing air jamming to old KISS records (tennis rackets = guitars) while drinking 151. Woke up in morning having puked all over my mom's couch. Realized I had several hours of blackout time. Later, my sister finds an actual acoustic guitar under a bed and someone (me) had puked inside the hole.

- Puked several times in dorm room toilet when I saw a huge thing floating. Thinking that I'd puked out an organ or something, I picked it up. Other guy in bathroom yells, "He's picking up his own turd!" I'd shat and forgot to flush before I puked.

I am SO f***ing glad that there is no video like this of me out there. My glory days were pre - youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8WxtCl9Jw4

My memeory was jogged a bit by some of these posts about a time that some drunk chic was going on and on about how I couldnt drive home. So to shut her up I flushed my keys down the toilet. That really sucked because my house keys car keys and several other keys were on there. I had to call my land lord to get into my apartment. And had to call a locksmith to get into my car. The weird thing is I remember doing it.

I remember I was feeling pretty awesome about it at the time. Kind of rubbing her face in it.

One time a guy I worked with said he drove by a friend and I at like 3am. We were pulling handfuls of soil out of a sidewalk flower planter thing and throwing it up into the air while screaming something he couldnt make out at the top of our lungs. He said he had to pull over to laugh. I have no memory of this.

- Puked several times in dorm room toilet when I saw a huge thing floating. Thinking that I'd puked out an organ or something, I picked it up. Other guy in bathroom yells, "He's picking up his own turd!" I'd shat and forgot to flush before I puked.

This made my sides hurt I laughed so hard.

track chick wrote:

why do so many of you piss and shit yourselves? have some control! lol

I wondered this myself. I've been pretty damn drunk on many occasions, but I've never pissed or shit myself as a result. I've never seen anyone do it either. Is there something about letsrunners that makes them especially susceptible to loosing control of such functions?

Tried to eat a Wendy's hamburger with the lettuce stuck to my chin while I berated my ungrateful daughter who was nagging me about not drinking...