There is a lady that I see on my runs a lot. She pushed a stroller with two dogs in it. They bark and jump out when I run by, and it makes her angry. One time I even stopped to help her grab one of the dogs because a car was coming. I suggested that maybe she use a leash and she scoffed and said, "I don't tether my babies." That made me think that maybe she has something wrong with her. Or maybe she is like the lady in the movie, Lamb!
Do they just act like 30 year old kids for the rest of their lives? How do they achieve deep fulfillment? Do they usually regret it?
In all seriousness, I never ever felt any inclination to have children and thankfully my wife of 37 years was exactly the same. I suspect we act like most people in their mid-60's in that we have a load of fun as often as possible and have very deep passions for certain hobbies. I not only don't regret it, but often think of how fortunate I feel. I have no fear of growing old without kids.
As expected, the navel-gazing narcissism is strong in this demographic. Boomers exemplify the trend best.
To each their own. It is a new reality we live in where people are choosing self immortality over fertility. It’s probably better that people do so without children than with children. For me, parenting has been one of the great experiences of my life and I do not regret it in the least. I enjoyed my 29 years as a single man. I enjoyed the 5 years married with no kids. I have enjoyed the years I have spent raising my kids who are turning into fine young adults. For me, life has been about phases: first thirty years were mine, middle twenty years belong to the family and the final thirty years are for my wife and I. Overall I believe if you view kids as a blessing and treat them as such, they will be a blessing. If you view kids as a burden and try to focus on selfish ambitions (money, partying, etc.), your kids will become a burden. Better that those who are unwilling to look beyond their own concerns not have kids.
That's fairly short-sighted but I can understand what you are getting at. People have quite a few varying reasons for not having kids. Only a subset of those reasons have to do with being "unwilling to look beyond their own concerns".
Yes. Pretty much act like 30 year olds for the rest of their lives. That really wasn't a terrible point in my life.
Some people are really good at forming strong relationships with people, and maybe don't need to have a brood to fulfill a void. It's a different path in life. But I don't see a problem with it. Definitely better than the 50%+ group of parents who aren't actually that good at it.
One thing the anti-kid crowd seems to forget is the concept of ancestral sacrifice.
You have 2 parents who sacrificed something in their lives to have you. Even if you had bad parents, they still sacrificed something to have you. Good parents sacrifice even more.
their parents, your grandparents probably sacrificed even more when conditions were tougher.
and here you are, you’re too cool to have kids. You just want to have freedom. you want all the benefits of other people sacrificing for you but you don’t want to sacrifice for someone else, i.e a child of your own. Kinda like a volunteer soccer coach, when you were little, they sacrificed their time so that you could have the benefit of a playful soccer experience. Now that you are metaphorically the age when you should be the volunteer soccer coach, and pay it forward, you choose to not help others and instead indulge in your own life.
the anti kid crowd is take take take. Not take and give.
All I’m saying is, someone sacrificed their life, their energy, their time, their money for you. Your parents and grandparents sacrificed all of those things so that you could be alive. It’s easy to receive the benefits and it’s hard to provide them.
someone had to put up with your pooped pants, your hours and hours trying to ride a bike, to learn the piano, whatever else you did as a kid.
and the fact that you gloat about being consciously selfish later in life is wrong.
Bro when you accidentally knock up the girlfriend you dont love but keep it cuz you bored- that’s not “sacrifice” lol
Legally parents have to take care of kide
you act like they actually want to- you have to. The government says you do if you have them
nothing to do with “sacrifice” most parents just want power over others so they have kids- it’s associated with death drive more than life drive. wanting kids is evil. This is basic psychology
Can't answer the question personally. I have kids and adore them.
My sister-in-law and her husband are DINK soylennials. They fall cleanly into the reddit archetypes.
She's a girl boss. Hustle, grind, get that bag. Super overeducated, spent a fortune on school only to end up working in some office for a male boss for maybe ~$100,000 a year. He's a manchild. Can't have kids cuz that would get in the way of the latest bibeo games and hoppy IPAs. Bounces from job to job. They have a house, Costco memberships, neurotic rescue dog "furbaby." Frequent vacations; the rest of us get inundated with boring pics and details. They go out a lot, drink a lot, and are getting fatter. They aren't especially politically active but believe in all the weird left-wing mythologies (democracy, climate change, etc). They're happy in a way that appears cheap and kitschy and unsustainable. No legacy, no descendants. The Haitian-staffed nursing home inches closer with every passing minute.
The fact that (white, first-world) people even have conversations about having/not-having children is a stark sign of cultural decay. Even one generation past every single healthy young couple considered having kids the default position.
They don't decide anything. They already have a life and they just keep living it. Having kids just isn't a priority for a lot of couples and there's typically no need to decide otherwise.
On a related note, kids are seen as giving a couple's life meaning in large part because most working adults don't have any major purpose to their lives outside of work and paying the bills. Eventually, the nights out and occasional vacations get old, and they peter principle head-first into the ceiling of their careers. Suddenly, having a kid gives you a permanent commitment and a new purpose. If your life prior wasn't anything to write home about, then raising a child quickly becomes your most meaningful commitment.
(Please ignore the handle, it’s not directed at you)
I think it shouldn’t matter why people choose or not choose anything. In the grand scheme of things, existence is meaningless apart from obvious biological drives… but given that we can consciously decide to do whatever we want with our lives, why not? Regardless of what you choose, it can be spun in any which way by anyone. “Childless? Selfish. Want children? You’re just looking to live vicariously through your children. Ergo selfish.”
Despite my existentialist views, I still enjoy living. I’m fortunate enough to be in good health most of the time, to have a loving wife, a few close friends, a good job (with great colleagues !), and hobbies that keep me busy all year. What matters to me may not matter to you, and vice versa. And that’s ok! In the end we’ll all die and be forgotten, and humanity may some day cease to exist. So enjoy the one life you’ve got while it lasts.
One thing the anti-kid crowd seems to forget is the concept of ancestral sacrifice.
You have 2 parents who sacrificed something in their lives to have you. Even if you had bad parents, they still sacrificed something to have you. Good parents sacrifice even more.
their parents, your grandparents probably sacrificed even more when conditions were tougher.
and here you are, you’re too cool to have kids. You just want to have freedom. you want all the benefits of other people sacrificing for you but you don’t want to sacrifice for someone else, i.e a child of your own. Kinda like a volunteer soccer coach, when you were little, they sacrificed their time so that you could have the benefit of a playful soccer experience. Now that you are metaphorically the age when you should be the volunteer soccer coach, and pay it forward, you choose to not help others and instead indulge in your own life.
the anti kid crowd is take take take. Not take and give.
All I’m saying is, someone sacrificed their life, their energy, their time, their money for you. Your parents and grandparents sacrificed all of those things so that you could be alive. It’s easy to receive the benefits and it’s hard to provide them.
someone had to put up with your pooped pants, your hours and hours trying to ride a bike, to learn the piano, whatever else you did as a kid.
and the fact that you gloat about being consciously selfish later in life is wrong.
Bro when you accidentally knock up the girlfriend you dont love but keep it cuz you bored- that’s not “sacrifice” lol
Legally parents have to take care of kide
you act like they actually want to- you have to. The government says you do if you have them
nothing to do with “sacrifice” most parents just want power over others so they have kids- it’s associated with death drive more than life drive. wanting kids is evil. This is basic psychology
I’m not your bro because you don’t have kids.
according to you, your parents accidentally got knocked up and were forced to keep you. According to you, your parents didn’t want you. They had to.
”wanting kids is evil” lol. Try to say that in public in front of 300 people who you respect.
The United States federal child tax credit (CTC) is a partially-refundable tax credit for parents with dependent children. It provided $2,000 in tax relief per qualifying child, with up to $1,400 of that refundable (subject t...
Hot take: having kids and not having kids are both totally legit options and you can have a great, meaningful life both for yourself AND for others via either option if you work hard at it.
Can't answer the question personally. I have kids and adore them.
My sister-in-law and her husband are DINK soylennials. They fall cleanly into the reddit archetypes.
She's a girl boss. Hustle, grind, get that bag. Super overeducated, spent a fortune on school only to end up working in some office for a male boss for maybe ~$100,000 a year. He's a manchild. Can't have kids cuz that would get in the way of the latest bibeo games and hoppy IPAs. Bounces from job to job. They have a house, Costco memberships, neurotic rescue dog "furbaby." Frequent vacations; the rest of us get inundated with boring pics and details. They go out a lot, drink a lot, and are getting fatter. They aren't especially politically active but believe in all the weird left-wing mythologies (democracy, climate change, etc). They're happy in a way that appears cheap and kitschy and unsustainable. No legacy, no descendants. The Haitian-staffed nursing home inches closer with every passing minute.
The fact that (white, first-world) people even have conversations about having/not-having children is a stark sign of cultural decay. Even one generation past every single healthy young couple considered having kids the default position.
Why would a power girl boss fall in love with a manchild? 100k a year is a lot where I live.
Good point on the boy being a videogame nerd...men need to focus on grinding and getting the bag and not playing video games. I say this as someone who used to play DOOM all the time then grew up!