Dating advice for a divorced 40 year old man

Such is true, but as the alpha male I am just not agreeing with the rest of the lame advice. 😒

Online dating … Fat, ugly, or crazy. Choose one. lol

I was in a similar situation 7 years ago. I was 38 and jut got out of a 12 year relationship.
After some months I was ready to date again (the break up took a long time and went through several phases so I didn’t need that much time to get over it). I only used tinder (there are way more apps now of course) and it was quite an interesting experience. I went on a lot of dates, had some some hook-ups here and there and must say, it was a fun experience, I’d say I met mostly nice and interesting women, with many of whom the chemistry or else wasn’t right, but still, you have a nice dinner and conversation and then move on. One thing is for sure, you’ll meet plenty of women you wouldn’t have met otherwise.
BUT I then met my wife (and now mother of our child) the old-fashioned way through a friend, where we just saw each other it clicked… I would suggest to just go out with friends and be as social as you can.

Neither of us were engaged in extramarital affairs.

Our underlying value systems were drastically different so compromises often required one of us to ignore our inner truth. Unmanageable, huge resentments built up and toward the end of our marriage we were both behaving like spoiled toddlers, who felt like they never got their way.

I think I will try to prioritize intellectual intimacy and compatibility when I choose my next partner; however, honestly, I will screen for potential dates with a moderately strict standard for physical beauty. Namely, stuff that indicates sober living like healthy skin, well maintained musculature, and present, focused eyes. That kind of stuff says a lot about someone's mental health and lifestyle choices.

"Do not under ANY circumstance date a woman with a child. NOT WORTH IT."

When I was 44, newly arrived in an SEC town, I met my wife on Match.com (as it was called). She was 41, lived hundreds of miles away, and had a 12-year-old daughter.

We were married in 2004, had a son in 2006, and celebrate our 20th anniversary this spring. Her daughter, a schoolteacher married to a D-1 head coach, is delightful. Our 18-year-old son is excellent. My wife is still fit, sexy, and, since the beginning, is somebody I enjoy talking with, thinking through issues with, doing things with.

Never say never.

Never marry The Party Girl. Oh yeah, sure she's super fun in college or in your early 20's, but she is going to a train wreak by 28,

If my math is correct, you got married at age...25? Not "super early" or even early in my book.

This is facile, even for LRC.

This is hilariously untrue.

I wonder what it is about this sort of thread that attracts people who obviously can't understand what they see and haven't figured out how to make smart choices in this area yet feel entitled to blather on at length.

Yes, you're going to see them at the gym. Or on the trails. Guys on PEDs or TRT isn't the norm. Women also are fine with "dad bods" so there's basically no need if attracting females is your goal. If you are relatively tall and have a job, that's really all you need.

I've been approached at gyms - as long as you're not 60+ and can strike up a conversation about working out, it's fine. Sadly I'm in my mid-40s but keep getting creeped on by senior citizens, which is a big no for me.

I’m not saying they don’t exist I’m saying it’s hilariously untrue that there are record numbers of men in their 40s in the best shape of their life.

Where did I say "record numbers?" 🤔

I'm in the gym 6 days a week pumping iron (was a competitive BB decades ago). I see & talk to a lot of these guys all the time. It's a trend I've been seeing over the years with the easy access to testosterone through these "Low-T centers" & the availability of SARMs over the internet. You didn't see this big interest with test & SARMs years ago with middle-aged dudes. Lol

Even if the senior is in great shape with a lot of $$$? 😉

Yeah...right, what planet are you living on? 😆

Would love to hear more about this if you're willing to share, as an early-40s guy in what sounds like a similar situation--though still married--who's not sure how to move forward.

Simmer down Sam...coming in hot

“There are more 40+ year old men who are in the best shape of their life.”