How to deal with people that make sexual remarks on group runs?

Turnabout is Fair Play wrote:

Next time it happens, respond with "Meh. If you like the soft option. You're getting very taut these days and I would totally love to tongue punch your fart box, bro. You down? Oh, answer the door in only compression socks because that's my thing, too!"

This is gold! I actually read this one to the wife for laughs.

It is ok for a man to furtively glance at a lady's buttocks when nobody is looking, but making a remark about it in public is considered crude.

I see a lot going on within the thread. To clarify some things:

When I attended the first group run I din't know anyone from the group thus I didn't have any info of cliques, if two people are friends, between others may be a hate relationship, etc. Also there were some runs with no remarks so I thought this was settled between members or it was an isolated incident.

Later I found out that the guy with the compression socks remark has a daughter a few years younger (early twenties) than the girl in compression socks (late twenties).

The running scene within the town is not too developed and this is the only club. However no new people are showing up now and there is a decline in attendance. Meanwhile I see more and more people running in the parks even at freezing temperatures.

I know some clubs may have a niche, however I don't recall any club branded as butt, lingerie, compression, etc. running club.

If you want to continue running with the club, you should muster the courage to tell these guys that you and other women can hear their crude comments about women's bodies, and you want it to stop.

Sometimes men who do this stuff are truly ignorant jackasses--i.e., it never occurred to them that their conversations are bothering the people around them. Other times they are nasty and sociopathic. Even if the latter situation is true, I recommend calling them out. Predatory people gradually push boundaries to see what other people tolerate. It's important to draw the line early and firmly.

high school xc coach wrote:

what they are saying or thinking isn't necessarily the problem. the problem is not knowing your audience. lack of social awareness.

people can say what they want in groups of like minded friends. you just don't talk like that within earshot of mixed company.

Even at like, say klan gatherings and stuff?

GD wrote: Predatory people gradually push boundaries to see what other people tolerate. It's important to draw the line early and firmly.

Honest-to-goodness predators are really rare. Do you sure that you don’t completely pathologize behavior that is merely uncouth and/or anti-social.

If you constantly raise the alarm, it provides cover for those who truly need to be outed and known as predators. You risk letting them hide in the uncouth group.

Trollminator wrote:

high school xc coach wrote:

what they are saying or thinking isn't necessarily the problem. the problem is not knowing your audience. lack of social awareness.

people can say what they want in groups of like minded friends. you just don't talk like that within earshot of mixed company.

Even at like, say klan gatherings and stuff?

interesting that's where your mind goes.

high school xc coach wrote:

Trollminator wrote:

Even at like, say klan gatherings and stuff?

interesting that's where your mind goes.

Don't digress. I'm trying to gauge your level of conviction - is it ok to think and say anything as long as it's with the right audience?

anti-depressants make them do it.

HobbyRunn3r wrote:

Less and less people are showing up for the local club runs. I'm not the organizer of the runs but I noticed that the behavior of 2-3 male runners may be a factor in the decline of the club. What happens is that somehow they manage to make inappropriate remarks about female runners . Just a few examples of remarks:

- About two female runners that were passing by (running) during the group warmpup: "those two are running for a few years but never join us".

- About a female running solo from the opposite direction: "(turning the head to look at her) that girl has a nice a....".

- About a female from the group (running 4-5m in front): "I want to see her wearing only compression socks".

What ever happened to "sticks and stones" adage we were all taught when younger? Why doesn't that sage advice apply any more? It's been stompled.

Ever since the Wokes took over contemporary society, it's straight to alleged hurt feelings, virtue-signaling, lawsuits, blackballing and cancellation. Is this what we want in America, the land of Freedom? A society where you have to go around anxious over what Karen or Brandon is going to sue you for thought crimes?

lol, sure bring on the usual older generation assessment of how the youngsters are destroying society. Q for you - who raised these people? And who raised these people's parents? It's good to start with some self-reflection.

You’re confusing feelings being hurt with just acknowledging that it’s a pathetically socially awkward interaction that is cringey. It identifies those making those comments as losers.

The world would go back to being a better place if we stopped worrying about what people said and used the old sticks and stones adage.

Nothing anyone can say, no matter your age, should change the way you feel about yourself. Only weak people allow others to influence their internal thoughts.

bfef wrote:

It is ok for a man to furtively glance at a lady's buttocks when nobody is looking, but making a remark about it in public is considered crude.

This is the whole point. Yes it is crude, obviously. But so what? The problem here is the fanatical response to such behavior from the hordes of brainwashed and emasculated simp boys.

Trollminator wrote:

Pole Mic wrote:

What ever happened to "sticks and stones" adage we were all taught when younger? Why doesn't that sage advice apply any more? It's been stompled.

Ever since the Wokes took over contemporary society, it's straight to alleged hurt feelings, virtue-signaling, lawsuits, blackballing and cancellation. Is this what we want in America, the land of Freedom? A society where you have to go around anxious over what Karen or Brandon is going to sue you for thought crimes?

lol, sure bring on the usual older generation assessment of how the youngsters are destroying society. Q for you - who raised these people? And who raised these people's parents? It's good to start with some self-reflection.

Qs for you - (1) what is the answer to your questions (you appear to know), and (2) what does your answer have to do with what I posted?

touch it man wrote:

bfef wrote:

It is ok for a man to furtively glance at a lady's buttocks when nobody is looking, but making a remark about it in public is considered crude.

This is the whole point. Yes it is crude, obviously. But so what? The problem here is the fanatical response to such behavior from the hordes of brainwashed and emasculated simp boys.

Nothing to do with that IMO. Your assessment just sounds like you are butthurt that your actions have consequences. Everybody can swing with their own weapons these days, so if you want to be an a$$ go ahead and be one but don't cry like a si$$y if you can't handle being cancelled. And btw - why are bros so sensitive about what happens online these days? Why should they care?

Well it is winter and a lot of people will prefer the flexibility to run when there's more light out and it's warmer than waiting until 6 p.m. or later just for a social run. I could tell you about group runs in a town where the running scene is "well developed" (Boulder) and you'll see the same, old, lonely, bachelor oddballs showing up at group runs decade after decade. And attendance shrinks during winter even though you'll see plenty of people running outside on a given day. And there is a local club that has managed to run off attractive women (and men and women interested in an inclusive environment) because the former longtime president was known to give unwanted and uncomfortable levels of attention to attractive women. I'm sure characters like this exist at gyms and yoga studios, too.

It's really no different than running with someone who is always forcibly trying to be funny but is just weird and a loser.

touch it man wrote:

bfef wrote:

It is ok for a man to furtively glance at a lady's buttocks when nobody is looking, but making a remark about it in public is considered crude.

This is the whole point. Yes it is crude, obviously. But so what? The problem here is the fanatical response to such behavior from the hordes of brainwashed and emasculated simp boys.

Continuing to farm angry responses by repeating the same objectionable remark over and over. This is the oozma troll move