What percentage of men cheat on their wife or girlfriend?

plenty of options wrote:

SummerSlogger wrote:

Michael Savage, sex counselor calls option #3 "menogomish".... meaning you are in a 99% committed monogamous relationship, but if the other is into something the other is not it should be OK for that person to fulfill their sexual urge.

It's very logical. Why throw away a great relationship where you love the person, they are a great wife/mother/husband/father, you are compatible on 99/100 things, but for some reason he/she is not into sex any more. Should you really have to trash a great long relationship, move, pay child support, get attorneys, blah blah blah over sex? Sex is such a very small percentage of the whole, it's ridiculous.

They problem with this is usually men.

Would you be ok with your wife fcking a guy that had a bigger dick than you because that’s what she needed?

Or, maybe, she likes to rim other dudes?

Or even just have plain vanilla sex with another guy?

90% of men’s ego can’t handle their woman being pleasured or giving pleasure to another man

Flagpole wrote:

Exclusivity wrote:

A lot of people on here will talk about how hard it is to not cheat if you're a "high quality man," which is basically them just giving themselves a pass to cheat. Others like Flagpole will say they've been propositioned in spite of wearing a wedding ring...give me a break...

People who have a lot of "opportunities to cheat" are just putting themselves in situations where cheating is likely to happen. Since I've been married, I've been through phases where I had "opportunities" and through times where I haven't really had to struggle. The only difference has been my choices and the situations I get myself into. Flagpole, if you really are getting all these opportunities, you're likely putting yourself in bad situations because you like the attention.

For men really not wanting to cheat, simply:

a) Don't flirt. This is not hard and you can still be a human being around girls. I can still joke around with my friends in a way that nobody accidentally winds up in bed with someone else at the end of the night.

b) This one is easy. If a girl likes you and you spend a lot of time with her, it's your fault when you wind up in a situation that makes you choose between your marriage and your instincts.

c) Don't go out to drink with a woman who might like you and definitely don't get in a situation outside of work where you're totally alone. Again, if something happens after that, it's your fault.

d) Don't just wear a ring (people know that it's meaningless and men cheat), you have to show people how much you're committed to your woman. Bring her to holiday events. Talking about her.

Yeah, it sucks not having as much attention, but it's also comforting to know I'm choosing to be with the person I love and am less likely to slip up. It's not hard if you actually want this. On the other hand, most people like getting into dicey situations because either they'll get laid or they'll feel all heroic when they turn the girl down at the last moment despite stringing her along and acting in ways their wives probably wouldn't like.

Some things:

1) I have been married for 32 years. That's a LONG time...time enough to have lots of opportunities.

2) One of my former jobs required lots of business travel. There were casual hookups on many of these business trips between people who worked in the same industry and lived states apart. I was propositioned a couple of times there.

3) I have played in bands for years, beginning as a married 23-year-old. I've been asked at last call to come "tune my piano" by an attractive woman at the end of the night, and when I told her I didn't do that, she immediately said, "Your drummer's amazing". He was single, I told him she said that, and he plowed her that night which is all she wanted. I've had other opportunities from those bar gigs too.

4) My wife and I were across the country from each other for about 4 months when she was beginning a new (second) graduate degree, and I was finishing up mine. I was asked by one female acquaintance during that time if she could come over to make sure I "made my bed" in my wife's absence.

I have never been looking for it. I have never flirted with any woman since being married (other than my wife of course). I have not put myself in situations to look for it (band gigs kind of open yourself up to that, but I am it for the music and always have been, not the drinking or anything else associated with playing live music). Sorry, brother, but some men get propositioned by women. I am not unattractive, and I am affable and approachable and non-threatening which is why I have been propositioned so many times. Also, as Napoleon Dynamite told you, women like men with skills. I have skills as anyone at one of my live band performances can attest.

One time, (and this is not the same as being propositioned), but I was at a business conference at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, TN when I got a call in my room from a prostitute who said she was in the lobby and was ready for me to come down to get her. I said, "what?!". She said, "you called to book me". I told her I absolutely did not, and then she said maybe someone was playing a prank on me. We hung up, and I called the front desk to tell them of the situation, and they confirmed to me that I was one of three men there with the same first and last name staying at the hotel that day.

I think it might be too late wrote:

plenty of options wrote:

They problem with this is usually men.

Would you be ok with your wife fcking a guy that had a bigger dick than you because that’s what she needed?

Or, maybe, she likes to rim other dudes?

Or even just have plain vanilla sex with another guy?

90% of men’s ego can’t handle their woman being pleasured or giving pleasure to another man

Not wanting to see the person you love be intimate with another person isn't an "ego" thing...

Being willing to share your lover doesn't make you more evolved it just means you don't actually love them...

And to the poster you're responding too sex is NOT a "very small percentage of the whole". To people with very high sex drives sleeping in the same bed with an asexual person is torture.

You need to eat every day and if you don't you're going to notice and it's going to change your mood. Sex is no different to men with higher sex drives.

Exclusivity wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

Some things:

1) I have been married for 32 years. That's a LONG time...time enough to have lots of opportunities.

2) One of my former jobs required lots of business travel. There were casual hookups on many of these business trips between people who worked in the same industry and lived states apart. I was propositioned a couple of times there.

3) I have played in bands for years, beginning as a married 23-year-old. I've been asked at last call to come "tune my piano" by an attractive woman at the end of the night, and when I told her I didn't do that, she immediately said, "Your drummer's amazing". He was single, I told him she said that, and he plowed her that night which is all she wanted. I've had other opportunities from those bar gigs too.

4) My wife and I were across the country from each other for about 4 months when she was beginning a new (second) graduate degree, and I was finishing up mine. I was asked by one female acquaintance during that time if she could come over to make sure I "made my bed" in my wife's absence.

I have never been looking for it. I have never flirted with any woman since being married (other than my wife of course). I have not put myself in situations to look for it (band gigs kind of open yourself up to that, but I am it for the music and always have been, not the drinking or anything else associated with playing live music). Sorry, brother, but some men get propositioned by women. I am not unattractive, and I am affable and approachable and non-threatening which is why I have been propositioned so many times. Also, as Napoleon Dynamite told you, women like men with skills. I have skills as anyone at one of my live band performances can attest.

One time, (and this is not the same as being propositioned), but I was at a business conference at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, TN when I got a call in my room from a prostitute who said she was in the lobby and was ready for me to come down to get her. I said, "what?!". She said, "you called to book me". I told her I absolutely did not, and then she said maybe someone was playing a prank on me. We hung up, and I called the front desk to tell them of the situation, and they confirmed to me that I was one of three men there with the same first and last name staying at the hotel that day.

You're welcome to act self-righteous, but outside of the girl wanting to be a groupie for some loser band, if you get in those situations with people you know, you're doing something wrong. I know ugly dudes with no personality that get in compromising positions and attractive guys with money and charisma who never do.

You should look at your lifestyle and the choices you're making if you find yourself getting caught up. This isn't normal for a 50 year-old guy. You either like the attention or are really bad at realizing how you're acting. You want to be a rockstar, so you're trying to play the part. Grow up. Maybe spend more time with your wife instead of constantly being alone with women late at night and you'll find this won't happen much.

Flagpole wrote:

Exclusivity wrote:

You're welcome to act self-righteous, but outside of the girl wanting to be a groupie for some loser band, if you get in those situations with people you know, you're doing something wrong. I know ugly dudes with no personality that get in compromising positions and attractive guys with money and charisma who never do.

You should look at your lifestyle and the choices you're making if you find yourself getting caught up. This isn't normal for a 50 year-old guy. You either like the attention or are really bad at realizing how you're acting. You want to be a rockstar, so you're trying to play the part. Grow up. Maybe spend more time with your wife instead of constantly being alone with women late at night and you'll find this won't happen much.

1) Your premise is completely untrue. My actions have always been above board...ALWAYS.

2) All but one of my propositions came before age 50.

3) When I play live music, I am not acting in any way that would be an attempt to attract women. I sit and talk to my fellow band members during breaks, don't make a scene of any kind, etc. I actually do NOT want to be a rock star. I was in a band once that was asked to tour with a signed band that you know (that's how many rock stars start out), and we unanimously said no; members of that band included a college professor, a lawyer, an electrical engineer (whose father was a professional touring musician for his career), and me, a guy who owns his own business. We didn't want any of that touring nonsense. I just like playing music.

4) I spend a TON of time with my wife. I work from home, and she is a college professor who is at home very often (more so than most people with 9-5 jobs). Who are you, Mike Pence? Matters not how many times I have been propositioned. I will never accept. I always tell my wife when a woman flashes the band too. I'd say over the years that happens once out of every 7 or so gigs. One bass player in one of my bands had one of two comments...either, "Nice!" or "fried eggs".

You're flat wrong about all of this, brother.

Exclusivity wrote:

Flagpole wrote:

1) Your premise is completely untrue. My actions have always been above board...ALWAYS.

2) All but one of my propositions came before age 50.

3) When I play live music, I am not acting in any way that would be an attempt to attract women. I sit and talk to my fellow band members during breaks, don't make a scene of any kind, etc. I actually do NOT want to be a rock star. I was in a band once that was asked to tour with a signed band that you know (that's how many rock stars start out), and we unanimously said no; members of that band included a college professor, a lawyer, an electrical engineer (whose father was a professional touring musician for his career), and me, a guy who owns his own business. We didn't want any of that touring nonsense. I just like playing music.

4) I spend a TON of time with my wife. I work from home, and she is a college professor who is at home very often (more so than most people with 9-5 jobs). Who are you, Mike Pence? Matters not how many times I have been propositioned. I will never accept. I always tell my wife when a woman flashes the band too. I'd say over the years that happens once out of every 7 or so gigs. One bass player in one of my bands had one of two comments...either, "Nice!" or "fried eggs".

You're flat wrong about all of this, brother.

That you need to keep writing these long justifications shows a guilty conscience. Say whatever you need to so that you feel good about it, but the proof is in the pudding.