My 15 yr old son stole my car last night while I was sleep........How should I punish him???

ttc wrote:

ekw wrote:

Don't be an idiot. The kid stole the car. If I remove a shirt from a store for a day without paying for it and without the store's consent, that is stealing. Even if I returned it the very next day unworn.

According to you, there is no word for a person who takes something without the owner's consent but intends to return it...

DEFINITION:

Steal: take (another person's property) without permission or legal right and WITHOUT INTENDING TO RETURN IT.

So, anybody in the world is free to come take your car for a joy ride as long as they intend to return it? No crime there and you're good with it.. And, anybody can rob a bank as long as they put in their demand note "give me all the money, I will return it later". These aren't crimes? Just a little no interest loan? It's a crime, even if you bring it back and always intended to bring it back. But hey, try it, go borrow your neighbors car for a while. Bring that dictionary of yours to court, see how much the judge is compelled by your ridiculously stupid argument.

Kids these days... I bought my own damn car when I was 15.

Send his ass to GTMO!

Ohio Bowling wrote:

Being disappointed in him will effect him more. Show that you are disappointed. Show little emotion, and do not react the way he expects. He will be effected. Believe me

Jackpot! This is what really worked. When I told him I was not only disappointed in him taking the car but what hurt me the most was that he could look me straight in the face and lie. HE FINALLY ADMITTED HE TOOK THE CAR! I actually used a combination of the advise I got here on letsrun. I took his phone, grounded him, he has to wait 6 additional months to get his license and I

used the emotional approach. I'm from the old school, he is my last child in the house. I have 2 kids in college and I never had this problem before.I was FURIOUS and my first reaction was to beat his ass but I would have had to really hurt him and that would be wrong. He is 6'2" 205lbs. I can still take him but a belt to the butt wouldnt do a damn bit of good. That would have been a bad scene and I probably would have went to jail.

Thanks to those who gave sensible advice.

unbelievable wrote:

So, anybody in the world is free to come take your car for a joy ride as long as they intend to return it? No crime there and you're good with it.. And, anybody can rob a bank as long as they put in their demand note "give me all the money, I will return it later". These aren't crimes? Just a little no interest loan? It's a crime, even if you bring it back and always intended to bring it back. But hey, try it, go borrow your neighbors car for a while. Bring that dictionary of yours to court, see how much the judge is compelled by your ridiculously stupid argument.

My kid took a cookie after I told him not to. Should I call the police? If you waltzed out of a bakery with a cookie you didn't have permission to take, it would be a crime. So I guess my kid is a criminal?

Your kid isn't "anybody in the world." There is a different relationship in place. If you want to treat a parent and kid like any other two people in the world, pretty much any parent could be charged with kidnapping. I mean, is anybody in the world free to make me go in my bedroom at night and not allow me to leave the house until morning?

rojo wrote:

The far left guy below is a moron.

What you know and don't know wrote:

Perhaps have a conversation with him about getting permission before using the car, and not using it in the middle of the night. Then get his agreement to this, by discussion and reasoning, but not by yelling or coercion.

rojo wrote:

As if a 15 year old needs to have a conversation to be told that taking a car is wrong. Get his agreement? Please. He's a kid. I do believe not talking down to him is smart but the rest of it is just laughable.

That you are calling me a moron, simply goes to prove that I'm right.

Discussion and reasoning trumps yelling and coercion every time, plus this kid is two steps from leaving home and doing whatever he wants to do anyway. Trying to give him crap before he leaves could only create major problems that could well last a lifetime, both for the kid AND the dad.

furious wrote:

sammi wrote:

postpone getting his license for 6 months. if he does it again, make it a year.

I actually thought about that. Postponing him getting his license will hurt him. Grounding him wont do any good because he rarely goes out. He is a 3 sport athlete so he has practice almost every day throughout the school year. He comes home does his homework and goes to bed. He occasionally goes to movies or a dance with his girlfriend. Except for sports, he stays at home so he wouldnt give a shitt if I grounded him. I could make him quit the basketball team but that might be counter productive. I dont want him to have a lot of free time.

Not sure how serious your son is, but my parents used to threaten me with "you can't go to swim practice." The reason this worked so well is that my coaches didn't let us miss practice for no reason, so then I'd have to explain to my coach that I was missing practice because I did something stupid.

However, this only worked until I reached my rebellious teens at which point I developed a "screw you, I can go to practice on my own if I want" attitude

furious wrote:

I'm really pissed off and I want to beat his ass but that is frowned upon these days. He is a good kid who does well in school and he never has been in trouble but I cant let him get away with this. Taking away his phone doesnt seem like its enough.

One of my best friends in high school used to steal his mom's car at least once a month. He got caught in our senior year and he never did it again. On a bad note, he didn't turn out to well. He hasn't been to prison but he is 40 years old and working in the tool dept at Home Depot.

I call bs...this guy and OP are the same. Biologically all adolescents are retarded...their developmental process impedes their ability to reason. Biology says this guy is full of dookie.

Depends on the age of your child. At 15 they are old enough to know what is wrong and what is right. If he knows he can't have cookies and he takes them, yeah, that's a problem. Either a sociopath or parenting problem. I wouldn't call the police, but I'd be worried if my child was stealing cookies or anything for that matter. Time for a talk.

A bedtime is not kidnapping. But, you could absoluteness be guilty of forceable confinement of your own child, depending on the circumstances.

I wouldn't call the police on my child stealing my car - but I'd sure be worried about that kid and I'd sure let him know that what he did was a crime and if he did it again I would call the police on him. It's hardly a high bar to set to expect your kid to not take your car without permission. He want's a criminal record, fill his boots. Life will sure suck afterward.

If your child is unable to accept he can't take the car without your permission, you aren't doing that messed up bit of space any favors by not calling the police.

i've done this with my mum's car. i told her and she didn't mind. i took it out for a drive on country roads. there was no one else on the road for the whole duration. to me it was a one off and it never happened again. i was too nervous while i was doing it to enjoy it and i realised it was wrong and stupid.

Timeouts and grounding only works with gay kids. Tell the kid to cover his butth0le, bc you're calling the cops and letting him do some jail time. Nothing straightens a kid out more than the thought of being some big black jailbird's beeatch

If he is black beat his ass. If he is white, he can also get drunk, kill four people and not serve any jail time because white privilege. Baby, don't be silly.

Make him be your butler for a month.

There are few serious responses here, and I'll try to give one.

The problem isn't that your 15 year-old "stole your car," which he didn't exactly do, did he? (Is the car home now? If you called the police to press charges, would they take it seriously?)

It sounds like your kids took your car out without permission. (I am guessing he has use of it often.) Obviously your precious little Jimmy lacks respect for the property and decisions of others, including his father, but that isn't really about this issue. Grounding or jabbering away about "stolen cars" isn't going to address something you have missed doing for the past decade, but you can still start.

The fact that you are making a histrionic post like this may say a lot about your parenting skills and capacity to have a reasonable discussion.

Have your local US Marines Corps recruiter make a house call with souvenirs, brochures, and ..... standard USMC 'Last Will and Testament' for your son and wife to fill out together.

ttc wrote:

ekw wrote:

Don't be an idiot. The kid stole the car. If I remove a shirt from a store for a day without paying for it and without the store's consent, that is stealing. Even if I returned it the very next day unworn.

According to you, there is no word for a person who takes something without the owner's consent but intends to return it...

DEFINITION:

Steal: take (another person's property) without permission or legal right and WITHOUT INTENDING TO RETURN IT.

You are a huge dumba**. This is why we didn't use the ttc Legal Dictionary at my Ivy League law school. You think I can "borrow" some cash from your wallet as long as I bequeath it to you in my will? or I can "borrow" a suit from Brooks Brothers as long as I return it 5 years later? Or I can "borrow" a steak from Ruth's Chris as long as I take a sh** in their toilet the next day?