Asked For Father's Blessing To Propose, He said...

Oh my, we have such a witty and clever comedian here now! Dude, you are so hilarious! You're not wasting your time at all by providing us with such "comedy gold"!

Humor in posting is an admirable but very difficult goal to achieve.

sadsad wrote:

I still wonder however, who is Blessing? Is she the daughter of the father or his wife? And someone wants to marry Blessing? Or Blessing would be the priest? Who is he dating the father or Blessing? Or someone else? So the problem is that Blessing is already married to her own father? Or the guys father? And Blessing is not pregnant, but the father wants her to be or not to be? And he is religious, but they're not? 100% certain ok, he sounds religious certainly. And so the religous man wants to marry either Blessing or her father. I think I got it.

Update.

My girlfriend's father called last night. He said I have this full blessing to go ahead and propose. I think I just caught him off guard and I don't think he thought his daughter and I were that far along or at that point yet in our relationship.

He just took some time to think it over and talk with his wife which I respect.

Thanks for the advice. Now she just has to say yes.

Good luck. I appreciate that you took the time to update us, unlike make a move a while ago...

NYU Runn3r wrote:

Now she just has to say yes.

To the OP, you do understand asking for a father's permission is no longer needed. It's a ritual that only started because when a man married a woman, she basically became his "property." Basically it was making sure he was cool with handing over a dowry in marriage. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't care for a second what her father says. If he has to think about it, he's an idiot. If you two love one another, are living together and want to make that commitment, just go ahead and propose. Screw needing the "blessing."

riley stops wrote:

To the OP, you do understand asking for a father's permission is no longer needed. It's a ritual that only started because when a man married a woman, she basically became his "property." Basically it was making sure he was cool with handing over a dowry in marriage. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't care for a second what her father says. If he has to think about it, he's an idiot. If you two love one another, are living together and want to make that commitment, just go ahead and propose. Screw needing the "blessing."

You are the first person to say that in this thread. Congratulations!

NYU Runn3r wrote:

riley stops wrote:

To the OP, you do understand asking for a father's permission is no longer needed. It's a ritual that only started because when a man married a woman, she basically became his "property." Basically it was making sure he was cool with handing over a dowry in marriage. Nothing more, nothing less. Don't care for a second what her father says. If he has to think about it, he's an idiot. If you two love one another, are living together and want to make that commitment, just go ahead and propose. Screw needing the "blessing."

You are the first person to say that in this thread. Congratulations!

Hmmm... I was reading this thread a few days ago, and I thought that quite a few people said this, or words to this effect, anyway. I definitely remember reading the "property" idea, and the idea that asking the father for permission was passe. In fact, I think a lot of people were saying stuff like this? That it was an antiquated tradition, etc, etc, etc...

But in any case, congratulations, and thanks for the update.

NYU Runn3r wrote:

Now she just has to say yes.

Nope, no she doesn't.

Why would anyone say congratulations yet? It seems a little premature. When he updates us that he is engaged, then it's time for the congrats. Until then, it's best of luck.

umm...are you sure? wrote:

NYU Runn3r wrote:

You are the first person to say that in this thread. Congratulations!

Hmmm... I was reading this thread a few days ago, and I thought that quite a few people said this, or words to this effect, anyway. I definitely remember reading the "property" idea, and the idea that asking the father for permission was passe. In fact, I think a lot of people were saying stuff like this? That it was an antiquated tradition, etc, etc, etc...

But in any case, congratulations, and thanks for the update.

Hmmmm......sarcasm perhaps???????

Wait a Sec wrote:

Why would anyone say congratulations yet? It seems a little premature. When he updates us that he is engaged, then it's time for the congrats. Until then, it's best of luck.

Well then there's the part about having a successful marriage...but hey about 50% of marriages work out, so he might have a chance...

I still think a year is not at all long enough to take the plunge...(saw only one other person that agrees).

Congrats on marrying your girlfriend's father. I'm sure Blessing will agree to you marrying him. What is his name anyway? Blessing's father that is. I wonder why he took that long to decide whether to marry his daughter's boyfriend. Probably because he already has a spouse. Is the wife okay with this or are they getting a divorce? Or perhaps it will be a polygamous relationship? If so, you should propose to her just in case too.

Haha, OK, that is a reasonable possibility.

Also, maybe some of the stuff in the post WAS actually said for the first time, like the part about "Don't care for a second what her father says. If he has to think about it, he's an idiot." I don't recall reading that line anywhere in the thread.

Anyway, best of luck to the OP. What does the fiancee-to-be say about all this? Do you two talk about this stuff?

I haven't read much past the OP, so forgive me if I'm repeating here, but this custom goes back to the day when daughters were considered property of their father and the husband-to-be negociated a dowry and whatnot and the husband was then considered the new "owner".

So, it's actually more than a little insulting, in my opinion, that a man would ask a woman's father if he could marry her prior to/rather than asking the woman herself.

I'm a guy, but if I was a woman I'd be a little put out by this sort of "gesture".

Ronald McD wrote:

I haven't read much past the OP, so forgive me if I'm repeating here, but this custom goes back to the day when daughters were considered property of their father and the husband-to-be negociated a dowry and whatnot and the husband was then considered the new "owner".

So, it's actually more than a little insulting, in my opinion, that a man would ask a woman's father if he could marry her prior to/rather than asking the woman herself.

I'm a guy, but if I was a woman I'd be a little put out by this sort of "gesture".

Exactly. An old fashioned father might like the gesture, but the daughter would most likely be hurt by this. I hope OP told the father not to tell her and will say nothing about this to her himself.

This guy would be history.

Ronald McD wrote:

I haven't read much past the OP, so forgive me if I'm repeating here,

Maybe you should learn to read then, because you are not adding anything new. People like you make the web tedious and un-readable.

Here's a life tip - listen before you speak, read before you write. Show interest in others and then maybe they will return the favor.

Ronald McD wrote:

I haven't read much past the OP, so forgive me if I'm repeating here

OMG THIS COULD NOT BE MORE RUDE! IF YOU CAN TYPE OUT A REPLY, YOU CAN READ THE 95 REPLIES ALREADY WRITTEN. HOW TEDIOUS CAN YOU MAKE THIS FORUM? MY GOD, I CAN REMEMBER A TIME WHEN PEOPLE USED TO READ PREVIOUS REPLIES PRIOR TO POSTING. IF SOMEONE SAID THE SAME DAMN THING THEY WANTED TO SAY, THEN THEY DIDN"T BOTHER TO REPEAT IT. THE LETSRUN MESSAGE BOARD COULD BE SUCH A GREAT AND INSIGHTFUL PLACE, FULL OF WISDOM, IF NOT FOR JACK-A-LACKS LIKE YOU!