What is the worst / most bizarre thing you've done while drunk?

W. Mitty wrote:

Tried to read Hegel and he actually made sense.

HAhahaha. POD.

I was a teenager and hanging out with some people I didn't know well. We ended up skinny-dipping off a dock. All I remember is a naked girl, standing in front of me in the water, and I made an advance.

Looking back at it, I realize that she wasn't exactly responsive; but at the time, I thought it was consensual. I fingered her, for like 2 seconds, and she ran off.

Later, her friends confronted me and said I was a molester. I have little defense. Perhaps to her, I was a molester. The only thing I can say is that I didn't mean to be. I feel bad about it, but it was truly a drunken accident. Those girls stole my friend's cds that night. I think it was revenge. And it was like $200 in cds. I'd say that "we" deserved it except my friend was not at fault for this. What a clusterf**k.

At a flat warming party and I shat and pissed in their washing machine and dryer - I thought it was the funniest thing ever.

At the same party I punched a hole in the wall, put a brick through a window and broke into a car and released the handbrake on a hill.

I wish I could go back in time and give myself an upper cut.

I can't remember.

it was with your mom

certainly not the worst, but this thread needs to get back on the same page. One night in college, my roomates and I pissed in the dryer (clothes were in there) and my roomate shat in the washer machine. Worst part of the story is that later on we realized we had pissed on our friends clothes and he was actually wearing them out. To this day we never told him that he was wearing pissed soaked clothes out to the bar.

I've done the interstate wandering thing. Apparently, I passed out underneath a payphone at a gas station. Woke up, and took off down the interstate. Female cop fortunately let me walk off on a different road, without placing me under arrest.

BUMP

At age 22 in a Charleston, SC bar, got up to go take a leak. In my intoxicated state I could not find the Mens Room so I just pissed on the hallway floor.

Addendum to the above, and even worse, I did the same thing in my own home at age 19. Got home drunk, snuck into bed without my parents hearing me, but then shortly got up to go to the bathroom. Too drunk to find it in my own home, I pissed on the floor. Got up very early the next morning, found a puddle in the middle of the Dining Room ( no rug at least) and cleaned it up.

Grenade versus toilet.

That is all.

Oh, that and going diving on a chick who had little bits of toilet paper still on her privates. I paused briefly then thought, "Whatever man. It's pretty foul any way you look at it."

not ashamed wrote:

Oh, that and going diving on a chick who had little bits of toilet paper still on her privates. I paused briefly then thought, "Whatever man. It's pretty foul any way you look at it."

Ass to mouth? A bunch of savages in this town...

I got drunk with a friend in the dorm room of a girl he knew. After a few drinks, she went to bed. In my drunkenness, I go over and crawl right in with her. Assuming that she's into it, I start feeling the chick up. I have my arms around her and have both hands up her shirt on her tits. The whole time I'm assuming that she's just letting me do this because she's really into me. Eventually, she gets up and leaves. A few minutes later, her friend comes in and asks me to leave. I'm totally surprised by this and wonder why this chick who was so into me has suddenly decided that she doesn't want me around. So I leave and wake up the next morning to the realization that I basically just molested this girl. Later, I found out that her brother is a WWE wrestler. Glad she got her friend to throw me out instead of her brother.

Where to start...

*at a party at some girls' house, paid a friend $10 to piss in their shampoo bottles and handsoap. He did it.

*after we didn't make the team to go to NCAAs one year, me and another guy on the team decided to get real drunk. we drank a whole bunch of icehouse beers, then jagrmeister, then went out to some bars. at closing time, tried to walk out with a full pitcher of beer, but the bouncers stopped me. not wanting to waste the beer, i chugged the whole thing. stumbled home. woke up the next morning in my bed, with my big timberland boots on and boxer shorts, but no pants. found my nice khakis on the floor ripped up to the knees.

*got real drunk one night and met up with a girl who i wanted to bang. walked home with her, along the way i found a parking cone, and proceeded to wear it as a hat the rest of the way home - about a mile. banged the girl, then pissed in the bed. woke up with a real stiff neck from trying to support the giant cone on my head.

*was living off campus one year, and was really drunk then. i had a bike that i'd ride to school in the morning, then inevitably ditch it when it got trashed. one night i decided to take a "shortcut" through some woods to get home quicker. Woke up the next morning and got a ride to campus. Couldn't find me bike. When I walked home that day, I found my bike chained to a tree in the woods.

*another time I was real drunk and decided to take the shortcut again. It was real dark and overcast that night, so there was no light in the woods. I got turned around and couldn't find my way out. I woke up the next morning, covered in leaves and twigs, and walked the 50 yards to my house.

*got blackout drunk once playing NASCAR on the old playstation while drinking a handle of vodka mixed with ginger ale. tried to walk home, and along the way was walking the street as cars whizzed by me. I took exception to one guy honking his horn at me, so I walked to the side of the road, picked up some rocks, and started throwing them at the passing cars. I got to a stoplight and starting throwing rocks at a car parked there, and it turns out it was a cop. i got a ticket.

*banged way to many girls that I didn't know, many sans condom. including this 45 year old lady in a tiny town out west. tried anal on her.

*got really drunk while living at home with my parents. then drove to a bar to meet an old college buddy. got even more drunk, then drove home. woke up, bed pissed, with my mom's car parked on the front lawn. she had to drive me to catch a train to upstate new york so i could visit my brother in college. while there, i took him out drinking, and he got stopped by the police for drinking a 40 of OE in front of the campus newspaper offices. he was under 21, but they let him off for some reason. I made it up to him by buying him another 40. then i drove his car to pennsylvania to visit, and bang - rawdog of course, a girl that i had hooked up with a year earlier. she had to go to class that day, and i left without saying goodbye, never to talk to her again.

*while out with some buddies in NYC, met a random girl at a bar on valentine's day. she was older (late 30s) and told me that V-day was always real sad for her because he former husband died in an auto accident on v-day a year after they were married (she got married at age 19). she went on and on about how tough it was to be widowed before 20. i walked her home to the apartment she was staying at - a guy i think she was banging. he was out of town, so i wind up going in and banging her - no condom of course - in this guy's bed. worst part of the story is that they guy was some middle-aged road warrior. he had some picture of him next to the nightstand of him crossing the finish line at some local 5 miler, with his time on the clock. i remember banging this widow girl and thinking, "god, i'm a much better runner than this guy."

*last story for now, i've got tons more: my best friend's fiancee was visiting her dying father in my town. it's two months before the wedding. we met up for beers and my roommate kept hitting on her. we get her drunk, and he convinces her to start flashing her boobs in the bar. she does, and he's trying to lick her boobs, but i'm telling him that it's my buddy's fiancee, so he should knock it off. we're so trashed, she doesn't want to drive home, so we go back to my place. i put her in my bed and she starts babbling about how nice a guy i am...you guys can all see where this is going...so i wind up banging her. 5 times. including anal - her first time, and her suggestion. i didn't not attend the wedding, and have never told him. i've seen them a few times, and it's always a bit weird.

Like the above posters, no STDs, no DUIs, no arrests. Happy and successful.

I'm proud of none of this...

- Was on a hay ride with a bunch of team mates and their girlfriends. Being alone I figured I'd drink a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20 by myself. Hay ride stops at a bonfire. I start running over and through the fire apparently screaming: "I'm a Mad Dog, I'm a Mad Dog". I end the night feeling lonely so I walk up the highway, at least 5 closer to 10 miles. Wake up covered in mud and twigs.

- Hammered in a bar... on more than one occassion... and spit on anyone smoking with spitting distance.

- Got kicked out of a frat party, so I pissed in a car parked in lot with windows rolled down.

- Of course the scary drunk driving and the un-safe sex. That stuff makes me shake my head now.

- Girlfriend at the time attempted to perform oral on me. I pissed instead... She seemed okay with it.

Thank god for time, wives, and kids.

Boy, some people do really asshole stuff when they're drunk.

I'm drunk right now. Should be studying for a test. F*ck.

I'd like to hear some more stories from this guy. Pretty compelling stuff, actually.