bleak outlook wrote:
I'm a guy. Mid 30s, 5'11, fit, income about $110,000/year, get told often I am handsome. I have gone out on more than 100 first dates in my life. Finding a woman who is faithful, level-headed, agreeable, and without major baggage (children, mental illness) seems to be damn hear impossible. For the first time in my life I am starting to think marriage and kids really might just not be possible, or I might have to go abroad, something I always thought was crazy before.
Anyone else experiencing this? Dating seems like such a disaster these days.
66 and divorced for 9 years. I've been very lucky to have met a few intelligent, successful, independent women. My only problem is that two of them were much younger than me.
I'm talking 30+ years younger.
Maybe it's where you're meeting them?
The way I met mine were almost serendipitous- one actually finished one place in front of me at a race.
One was from a dating site but I only created a profile to prove a loser wrong when he said they don't work because he never gets any hits.
One was a "clever" comment I made to a young woman on a facebook post. It got an immediate message and she asked me out a couple days later.
I've met a couple others in "fateful" ways- an assistant manager at a bank happened to be filling in for a teller and woola!!! The woman in the bank really DID like me!
There was one who I defended in a facebook argument with a few Trump supporters (that's a major red flag for any decent woman).
But, if I had any advice I'd say- stop looking and let it happen.
Most guys your age (and the women your age who I've dated tell me this) just don't know how to me "men". Show respect for her intelligence and choices and be mature in yours.
Be a gentleman without being condescending. Be ready to pay but graciously accept her offer to split the tab or even pay the whole bill.
One of mine (the one I would marry) told me that even the way I bought her flowers shows that I put thought and feeling into it.
I go to a real florist, I buy flowers that "match" her- not roses, never roses, that's the easy out and I pick an occasion that's special to us. In this woman's case it was the first date where I actually picked her up and drove- previously we met out.
In her case, I waited to even hug her. When we did, we talked about being intimate and the possibility of a serious relationship. THIS was because I knew her well and I knew that she doesn't just date, kiss, have sex, it works or not.
She wants to know (as do I) that there are feelings for each other.
Hang in there and let it happen. Don't be looking for the "one". Let the "one" come along through some serendipitous, butterfly effect chance meeting.