Princess of the Family Getting Married; Telling guests NOT to bring kids

Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:

So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.

Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”

It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.

my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.

i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.

or just F it. just go and deal with it.

TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?

Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:

So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.

Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”

It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.

my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.

i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.

or just F it. just go and deal with it.

TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?

GlassHouses wrote:

We welcomed kids at our wedding and have no regrets. They were all respectful and made things more fun.

That said, this is an extremely normal request for a couple to ask of their guests. Wedding venues often charge per head for both food and alcohol — they don’t care if an infant is partaking in neither. It’s awkward to invite your third cousin or something and then find your budget go up by $1K when they decide to bring the whole family.

Some really wealthy couples will hire on-site childcare for their weddings. This is incredibly expensive, of course, but a nice gesture if the couple is significantly more wealthy than the attendees. This is not common by any means.

Some couples want a certain kind of “high-class” vibe at their reception and see kids as detrimental to that. That’s not for me, but also not for me to judge. I’ve been to weddings with jungle juice fountains and don’t judge that either.

It’s a little alarming that you’re calling your relative “the princess of the family.” If you have such a poor opinion of them, then why go out of your way to try and go to this wedding in the first place? You may not be missed and with no hard feelings.

garland823 wrote:

Your cousin, and all the crazy people on here saying no kids, are psychotic. A wedding is a family event. Telling your family that they can't bring their young kids to your wedding is insulting, and whether the bride realizes it or not she's practically disinviting those with young kids from the wedding.

You know what I didn't notice, AT ALL, at my wedding? Whether any of the kids had a meltdown, or misbehaved, or had a good time or a bad time. You don't have time to notice. The only time I've paid attention to kids at a wedding was when I brought my own - and they did fine, and their extended family was happy to see them.

I feel sorry for the joyless souls who can't tolerate being in the same giant room with a few kids for a few hours. "Just travel to our multiple events that will commandeer at least one weekend and much of your bank account, give us a several hundred dollar gift, but you're on your own to figure out what to do with your kids - I don't want to see them!" Sorry, if I'm going deal with the logistics and expense to get a weekend away with my wife and leave the kids at home, it's not going to be to attend your wedding.

Mac Daddy wrote:

Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:

So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.

Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”

It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.

my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.

i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.

or just F it. just go and deal with it.

TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?

I still find it nuts that parents complain about this. Weddings have months/years of advance notice sent out. You really can't find a babysitter for one night with that much advance notice?

Mac Daddy wrote:

Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelings wrote:

So the princess of the family is getting married. Everyone has always done what she wants. She makes a ton of money and her fiancé is east coast old rich who makes way less than her but of course is waiting for his family estate. She has had 6-7 events leading up to the wedding and it’s really getting exhausting. I will definitely go to the wedding because she is my family but I felt bad when she told me I am not allowed to bring my 3 year old son to the wedding. My son is not misbehaved and she likes hanging out with him the few times we do hang out. She is saying no one can bring kids so she is not discriminating only against my son. However, the wedding ceremony is at 2 pm and then the reception is at 6 pm which means we need to find a baby sitter for 8+ hours on a Saturday.

Is it normal to ask guests to NOT bring kids? I’ve heard mixed results from people. Some people say “oh yeah, kids ruin everything.” To “weddings are family events and it’s totally normal to have all ages.”

It puts a burden on parents to find a sitter for that long.

my plan was to attend part of the wedding, the ceremony, and skip the reception but I would be committing suicide with them because they would get pissed and call me selfish that I am not 100% supporting her. they came to my wedding so I definitely feel like I owe them too. I also don’t like that it’s a pattern: they invited us to their cocktail engagement party but told all the guests not to bring kids. We went and had an ok time and thought it was odd, but we did what they told us to do. I thought ok for an engagement party I can see how they just want adults. Now for the wedding they are telling us not to bring our kid.

i am slightly offended and contemplating pissing them off by not going to the reception solely because they are excluding my kid. But that would cause a lot of stress.

or just F it. just go and deal with it.

TLDR: wedding is not allowing kids to any of the events. Is that normal? Or is it normal to have kids at weddings?

I still find it nuts that parents complain about this. Weddings have months/years of advance notice sent out. You really can't find a babysitter for one night with that much advance notice?

Anti-Kid Sentiment Hurts My Feelingsss wrote:

YersiniaPestis wrote:

Nobody care what you did dude.

In this fictional little troll situation the scenario painted is that someone asked that their wedding be free of kids, and this guy (one of the supposed invitees) is put off by that request.

What you did at yours is completely irrelevant to the situation.

It is not fictional, dude. His situation is 100% relevant because it shows that it is possible to have a great time at a wedding even when other families are present.

this issue of including kids vs having an anti-child sentiment at weddings seems to be way more prevalent and way less decided than I thought, which is why I asked for y’all’s wisdom in the first place.

A lot of people have run into this debate before. So yeah, his wedding story is relevant to the situation.