Post-nuptial shutoff?

Great Stuff

Richard21142 wrote:

kids the real shut off wrote: men need sex. women sometimes do.

I car pooled with a women who told me that she could go the rest of her life without sex. She said this while she and her husband were divorcing. She was about 30 years old at the time.

This woman has more resolved personal issues than the standard female.

UNresolved. sorry. :)

Can we please shut off the the post-nuptual shut-off thread??

Hitting too close to home here?

Unlikely. It has proved to be of help to people. If you don't like it, or it hits home, don't read it.

Have a nice day.

Actually my husband's penis was talking to me last night. It said, "Leave me alone!" I wore it out.

Mrs. Masterbooner wrote:

Actually my husband's penis was talking to me last night. It said, "Leave me alone!" I wore it out.

OK--the 'Gaydar alert' is flashing code red...or perhaps pink.

Just because I like lots of sex doesn't mean I'm a man.

I hate stalkers too.

I have not had time to read all of this thread, but what seems to be missing in what I have read is the lack of acknowledgment by the guys that if she is cutting you off, there is a reason, and if you want it back on, you need to find out what the reason is and address it. And not wait 2 weeks, months, or years to face the problem. Women like sex. Find out what you did to turn her off. She probably wants to fix it as much as you do.

So why don't women communicate when men ask what's wrong?

I car pooled with a women who told me that she could go the rest of her life without sex. She said this while she and her husband were divorcing. She was about 30 years old at the time.

It's probably hard for men to understand, because as I understand it, even "bad" sex for men is rarely physically painful. Imagine that every week, you had to go get your penis rubbed raw and didn't get to orgasm, and you were supposed to act enthusiastic about it.

When my ex-husband and I were divorcing, I also felt like I would be happy to never have sex again- because during our marriage, I had come to associate sex with physical pain. Maybe he thought I was cutting him off, but he was hurting me and didn't see fit to change that.

Now that I've been in a good relationship for almost two years, we have sex several times a week and it's great. If she doesn't want the sex, maybe you're doing it wrong.

It is my experience that women do communicate, but action to change behavior on the part of the man does not always follow when needs are communicated. My husband is a fantastic asker and listener, but struggles with the behavior change part. I am not saying I am the shut-off type, but I can certainly see how a man becomes less attractive after a few rounds, or 10-20 years of this kind of stuff. Thankfully we both still love each other and respect each other, so the sex is never gone for long.

Stop Blaming the Women wrote:

I have not had time to read all of this thread, but what seems to be missing in what I have read is the lack of acknowledgment by the guys that if she is cutting you off, there is a reason, and if you want it back on, you need to find out what the reason is and address it. And not wait 2 weeks, months, or years to face the problem. Women like sex. Find out what you did to turn her off. She probably wants to fix it as much as you do.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know!!! There was a female shut-off thread. SEVERAL of them, actually. Each one has been deleted. I don't know why - it was something that may have helped a few guys out there.

My older brother is 39 and he is finishing his marriage. His marriage has been rough for a few years now. It's common knowledge in the family that she stopped putting out a long while ago. My mother told me it's each person's job to put out and if one partner stops the other has the right and the human need to go get it somewhere else. My Mom has always had a great perspective on life.

I'm a woman currently in the midst of a shut-off. We're both under thirty, fit, attractive and we haven't been married all that long (5 years and a bit). I don't know exactly how it happened, I can see my husband is handsome, honest and hardworking. He's attractive to me but we hardly ever have sex anymore. I'm talking once a month now and I know it's my fault. I feel very guilty for not wanting more and even that once a month is more for him than for me. It's not that I don't think about sex, I do. I don't understand why I can't want the man that clearly wants me. I know this will destroy our marriage, he's only human. I didn't think this would ever happen to us. I just thought I'd share this as a womens perspective, I wish I could give more insight. I'm just not sure love is supposed to feel like this but I know I love him.

heartlove wrote:

It's not that I don't think about sex, I do.

Do these thoughts tend to include other women?

Yes. This is getting kind of personal but a lot of times I think of other women with my husband. Does this mean something?