Post-nuptial shutoff?

I think Eliot Spitzer should be added to the list.

i've found there is the honeymoon period of a few weeks which some of my friends can't really get past, then there is the 2-3 year thing which i didn;t get past for a while and now the multi year thing which is all good and i'm happy to continue.

I think it's just an evolution of yourself that allows for a long-term relationship. I think women are naturally relationship types already, they are just waiting for us.

Of course sex is still sex.

A newly-married couple was shopping when the bride noticed her husband checking out yet another cute sales clerk.

"Bill! You're like a kid in a candy store!" she reprimanded.

"Now that we're married," Bill replied, "I'm more like a kid with diabetes in a candy store!"

This is a freaking epic thread, I've been reading this all morning.

all i can say = WOW!

How does that old saying go... "That's great. Now that you are married, you can have sex whenever she wants?"

WTF? If I read this when I was single...I'd be single forever.

Aristotles apprentice wrote:

WTF? If I read this when I was single...I'd be single forever.

I wish I had read this thread way back then.

Aristotles apprentice wrote:

WTF? If I read this when I was single...I'd be single forever.

Yes, but you wouldn't think it would have to you.

as a female, I learned of how terrible men have it after the 'shut-off' when I was seduced by a married man w/ kids in my early 20s. He was a genuinely nice guy, but he was only getting laid 3 times a year (his wife had some high profile job where she traveled a lot). He soon became obsessed about seeing me and even joined a gym, haha. I cut things off b/c I met someone else, who was thankfully single and not married. The point of my post though, is that when I do get married, I know I'll be committed to spicing things up b/c I saw firsthand that even genuinely nice men who love their wives can resort to cheating when neglected for so long.

Greatest thread ever. I just split with my chick a while back. Isn't it funny how this shutoff happens to so many people? Even though she said she would never be like that, I found myself wanting to do it a lot more than she ever did. And that wasn't even all that much (maybe every couple days). I guess this thread shows that chicks are different from guys in their desires. Who knows?

7 years/2kids into my marriage. Me: 40 and wife 35. We used to do it in every room of the house...2x/day at least. Now,,,,humm 1-3times a week when kids are not bothering us....which is not too often. She uses "kids" excuse more and more now. She does at times put movie on for kids that they both can enjoy while we steal away into bedroom for quickie. We're still compatable and loving it, however it has stalled a bit. To be honest, I don't mind because I know we both work and are tired in the evenings. I work early too so it's tough.

oh yea? wrote:

7 years/2kids into my marriage. Me: 40 and wife 35. We used to do it in every room of the house...2x/day at least. Now,,,,humm 1-3times a week when kids are not bothering us....which is not too often. She uses "kids" excuse more and more now. She does at times put movie on for kids that they both can enjoy while we steal away into bedroom for quickie. We're still compatable and loving it, however it has stalled a bit. To be honest, I don't mind because I know we both work and are tired in the evenings. I work early too so it's tough.

7 years and 1-3 times a week. that's not bad at all. definitely doesn't qualify as shutoff.

11 years, 4-6 times a week. Always been that way, my wife rules.

after well over a decade typically at 2-4 times a week, the pregnancy shut things off and for a year and a half since the baby arrived, there has been virtually a complete shut-off, and the birth control is painful for her so not much of a positive prospect for the future. our social morality should be adjusted to account for this fact and let men cheat as much as they want. this from someone who would never cheat but thinks it shouldn't be a problem to do so. who said that a relationship should ever consign a man to virtually no sex for the rest of his life? men need sex. women sometimes do.

kids the real shut off wrote: men need sex. women sometimes do.

I car pooled with a women who told me that she could go the rest of her life without sex. She said this while she and her husband were divorcing. She was about 30 years old at the time.

AT 1-3 times a week you have nothing at all to complain about. In my marriage it dwindled quickly down to once a month with many, many periods of going 6+ months without when she got pissed off at me.

Just read this thread now.

I would like to offer another viewpoint.

I am convinced that inate physical compatibility is a key factor. No amount of in-the-sack-performance-expertise is going to trump mother nature.

I was married for 10 years and am now happily divorced for 3 years. Knowing what i know now, it is clear to me that my wife and i were not amazingly sexually compatible. The sex was ok (at the time i thought it was great) and it was not as often as i wanted. I had to beg for it EVERY time. I was thrown a bone on average 4 times a month. When we had it, i thought it was great and i was satisfied.

Boy was i wrong!!!! After divorce, i have been in numerous relationships. (Not one night stands). I now know what i am doing in the sack and i can see that empirically the quality of the sex depends on the compatibility of the pair. My performance or ability doesn't vary -- rather, the quality really depends on the compatibility. I disagree with some posters who said that if us men knew how to handle our women they would be coming back for more.

Compatibility is not something that can be changed or adjusted. It is what it is.

My point is that one needs to marry someone that one is compatible in the sack with. Just like you need to see eye to eye on other things like: lifestyle, religion, child-rearing approach, handling finances, etc.

I would like to get married again but will not settle on the compatibility issue in any important area.

CHEEEEEAAATTTT!!!!!!!

Well if she wants a new baby daddy I'm waiting and ready!