I think was totally crazy of you to ask him for his blessing.
And it's strange you refer to your girlfriend as "we", "she", and "the girlfriend."
Maybe you're not ready to get married.
I think was totally crazy of you to ask him for his blessing.
And it's strange you refer to your girlfriend as "we", "she", and "the girlfriend."
Maybe you're not ready to get married.
J.R. wrote:
And it's strange you refer to your girlfriend as "we", "she"
What, dare I ask, do you use instead of the personal pronouns "we" and "she"?
Ok that's a very rude generalization to apply to everyone in that age range. My parents only dated for 6 months and then got engaged. They both have it together as they have undergraduate degrees from Princeton, and masters degrees from Penn. They have been happily married for 25 years, and they were engaged at 22.
When I talked to my wife's father before I proposed I was clear with him that I was asking for his blessing out of respect, but not his permission. In other words I'm doing this and it would be great if you are supportive, but it's going to happen so you might as well get on board. I got his blessing immediately.
Sooooo...
I just read this aloud to my wife (whose father was pissed when i didn't ask permission haha) and we are eagerly awaiting an update. Seinfeld is on mute. You are our new thing. We need an update NOW
J.R. wrote:
And it's strange you refer to your girlfriend as "we", "she"
Cronje wrote:
What, dare I ask, do you use instead of the personal pronouns "we" and "she"?
The OP starts with "we" without defining who we is, then continues with "we". "she's, then "the girlfriend" and then "she" again. Whoever we and she are is not clear, even by saying "the girlfriend" as they could be different people. Not once does he refer to the woman as "my girlfriend." I'm not talking about grammer in particular, but the OP seems to have quite a standoffish attitude to his girlfriend, not even mentioning her in the marriage idea, but being of great concern with the opinion of her dad, i.e. "father."
NYU Runn3r wrote:
We haven't been dating long, just over a year. We actually live together and are both working professionals in the city. I've never been divorced, she's not pregnant, parents aren't religious, and I've spent a little bit of time with them and it's always been good. The girlfriend talks about us getting married all of the time and friends keep asking me when I'm going to do it. 100% certain she would say yes.
gingerbreadflan wrote:
Sooooo...
I just read this aloud to my wife (whose father was pissed when i didn't ask permission haha) and we are eagerly awaiting an update. Seinfeld is on mute. You are our new thing. We need an update NOW
48 hours past. No contact from her dad.
Yeah, it is. Look, another 22-27 year old hopeless romantic chiming in, great.
Dennis Reynolds 3.4 wrote:
Recent grad wrote:Yes you caught him off guard...you have only been dating for like a year...Extremely short time to think about marriage. ?
No it's not.
Good god man, are you posting inside your time machine? Seinfeld has been off the air for 15 years.
Have you checked out "Friends" That Rachel chick is so hot. She's so good looking I bet she'll still be hot when she's 47.
quote]gingerbreadflan wrote:
Sooooo...
I just read this aloud to my wife (whose father was pissed when i didn't ask permission haha) and we are eagerly awaiting an update. Seinfeld is on mute. You are our new thing. We need an update NOW[/quote]
I still believe this is a troll for a variety of reasons but it is well done so I want to play along.How are you going to approach you girl about this without ruining the surprise?
NYU Runn3r wrote:
gingerbreadflan wrote:Sooooo...
I just read this aloud to my wife (whose father was pissed when i didn't ask permission haha) and we are eagerly awaiting an update. Seinfeld is on mute. You are our new thing. We need an update NOW
48 hours past. No contact from her dad.
NYU Runn3r wrote:
gingerbreadflan wrote:Sooooo...
I just read this aloud to my wife (whose father was pissed when i didn't ask permission haha) and we are eagerly awaiting an update. Seinfeld is on mute. You are our new thing. We need an update NOW
48 hours past. No contact from her dad.
He's talking to his daughter, not you.
Oh I can assure you this is not a troll. This is for real.
Her dad hasn't talked to her about it. They even talked last night on the phone. I tried to push for any information that may have come up about our talk but she said it was just the usual small talk. She hasn't wcted any differently, seems happy, and is not aware of anything.
My growing fear is that I now have to go to her home for 4 nights in just over a week. I'm not looking forward to it at all now. At this point I'm planning on proposing a few weeks after the holidays when the timing is right unless her dad comes back and strongly disapproves. She really looks up to her dad so in that scenario I might just wait a few months to a year.
NYU Runn3r wrote:
unless her dad comes back and strongly disapproves. She really looks up to her dad so in that scenario I might just wait a few months to a year.
The father will have the shotgun loaded and ready for your visit
Dr Laura wrote:
So she is your shack up honey, an unpaid whore. So basically you have been banging some guy's daughter. A MAN would show his love by one, respecting her and treating her like a whore, a MAN would lay his life down for her, a MAN would respect her and wait until marriage before intimacy takes place, a MAN would not wait until after the fact to ask permission of the father. So here is your answer, dad is pissed, you proved you are not a MAN, and you have proven that you like to bang women who are unpaid whores. Best of luck to you.
Please please please be a troll. If this is really your logic and how you see the world then you must hate everyone around you and they probably aren't fond of you either.
The cool thing about the time period we are all living in is the growing acceptance of other peoples' views and cultures. Sure, a lot of people wait, but you just bashed a dude who you have no idea about and have no idea if they are intimate or not. They live together but that doesn't mean they are banging. I wish I could see even a little bit of logic in feminist arguments like this but I truly cannot.
Well, if you are going to be with him for 4 nights in just over a week, then you guys will definitely talk about this more in person, or at least you will have the opportunities to do so. So keep us posted! Let us know how it goes!
She already told her dad that she doesn't want to marry this guy. Dados now stuck in the middle. She's moving out soon
I thought the proper way to ask the father's permission is AFTER the couple has decided to get married, as in "Pride & Prejudice"
NYU Runn3r wrote:
... I have to think about it and get back to you.
I was totally not expecting that. Has this happened to anyone else?
We haven't been dating long, just over a year. We actually live together and are both working professionals in the city. I've never been divorced, she's not pregnant, parents aren't religious, and I've spent a little bit of time with them and it's always been good. The girlfriend talks about us getting married all of the time and friends keep asking me when I'm going to do it. 100% certain she would say yes.
This just threw me off guard and now I don't know what to think.
I'm so confused as to who is the daughter and who is the father. Are you the father's daugher or is the father her's? And how can you know who to marry, the father or the daughter. Trying my wrap my head around this, but it seems you are having trouble with whether to marry your own father or the daughter's father? Am I saying this right? And the father of the daughter is the daughter's father, right? I don't know, ask your father.
I read some more posts and it seems the daughter is up for grabs and the father picks the right person. Is that it? And in this thread are many potential partners for her. The father is still waiting because he has not found the right person for her. I would like to present myself to him. I would be honored to have her.