Why do people think it's strange to be single and not married but ok to be divorced?

I don't know if it's already been talked about but being married early doesn't make you any less possible to be gay. My uncle came out after 20+ years of marriage and left his wife and three kids to move into a more "accepting environment". I know of another family in my neighborhood who's going through the same problem, and my own dads first wife is now a Lesbian. Sometimes people just don't find the right person, or don't care to. I personally plan on paying off college loans and getting myself settled and happy before i would ever think about trying to support and make a Wife happy. Take your time with life you only get to do it once, and you don't want someone taking half your shit to enjoy their life with.

Chris Rock says all you need to know about marriage....

ENJOY....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U1QJpJ1ULA&feature=related

Why are so many people here insecure about "attracting the opposite sex"? Look, some people just don't want to get married, and that should be perfectly fine. Yet, you feel the need to attack him for not being able to attract the opposite sex even though you know nothing about him? That's lowly and pathetic. Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel the need to rag on other people's love lives?

Thanks for suggestions. Whatever you do, don't do what my cousin did. In his thirties, unemployed and still living with his parents, he somehow felt the need to make something of his life. He met a foreign woman with a visa, 6 months later got married and several months after that had a kid. The reality of it all hit him like a brick wall (he was still unemployed and living with his parents) and a month after the baby was born, he took off and left behind his wife and kid. I saw him before he left and he didn't look like a happy guy.

I've lived with my ex and her kid for several years and honestly it was great for awhile but it started to feel like coming home to a second job. Ya, I may be a little self-centered but at least I know myself enough to realize that marriage probably isn't for me.

Whatever you do, don't do what I did.

I have 5 different kids from 3 different moms. I never married one of them.

I've got baby momma drama like none other.

mentor wrote:

[quote]stuck with match.com wrote:

When you're 23 and single its getting to be that time where its like dang, i better find someone to marry quick[/quote

If you felt this way when you were only 23, obviously you were living a loser's life. So, it's probably good that you did get married before you did something stupid and hurt yourself.

Mentor, I believe you are mistaken. I am currently 23 and my therapist and placed me on high alert. (Meaning I could hurt myslef). I guess that means I'm a big loser, right?

curious mind.. wrote:Really, everyone of my divorced friends (guys and gals) all say marriage is overrated.

All of my moron friends say wisdom is overrated.

Some people think it is a sin not to be married

The Catholic Church explicitly stated (states?) that you must either 1) get married or 2) become a priest/nun. Otherwise you are "living in sin".

We are programmed to temporarily find a monogamous mate, and the "sparks" last for 4-6yrs.

The sorting process means most end up paired unless you are either 1) extremely undesirable or 2) extremely resistant to the idea.

I had a desired mate 10yrs ago, but she didn't want to get married (she is still single). I was single and girlfriendless basically for 8yrs. Married 2 ago. I am happy. Very glad I waited.

Its much better (for men) to marry younger women. The marriage goes more smoothly, you are more confident, and it is generally happier.

To the OP - look at women at least 10-15yrs younger. They make the best partners for older men.

Unfortunately we are all subject to the sterotypes applied to people. They are generally pretty true. IF you are not married by 40, there is a reason. It might be financial (more common that people think), a broken heart, etc. But there is a reason.

Keep in mind that lower classes and trash get married earlier. upper classes take care of business first (solid career, etc) and then get married when the time is right. dont listen to people who criticize you. take your time.

stuckwithmatch, my man, ive been in similar situation with the therapist and all, havent seen one in 2 years though, as you know. now in my mid-20s, ive had opportunities to marry -let's see, recently a girl from India (she's smoker though and we have little in common) and a fat girl (also little in common, like most on this board im a pretty serious runner), so I'm still waiting for the right girl to come along. I'm not really too worried about it, you shouldnt be either, and in the meantime there are many advantages to being single - you can move anywhere you want in the country pretty much, you have more time to yourself for money and career, and when everyone else around the early 20s is settling for uglier girls it means you stand out as a single guy in late 20s/early 30s, which is a pretty good time (assuming you're not a loser and have a decent job etc - and im pretty sure just about everyone who posts here has some college and a decent job)...so just give it some time

oh yeah, i should add you have more time to run and take the sport seriously like you did in high school and college.

More answers, but from the other perspective:

http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?thread=3675959

probably because everyone else wants you to be as miserable as them (listing to a wife complain and demand and spend all your money on her ideas).

I've never been married either but most of my friends are and over the years (meeting many couples, acquaintances and friends) I've learned that 95% of women need a man to: 1. pay bills, 2. take your money and use it on what they think is best, 3. make kids.

Girl Probs in College wrote:

oh yeah, i should add you have more time to run and take the sport seriously like you did in high school and college.

If you're in your mid-20's or early 30's and you take your sport "seriously" then its time to put that on the back-burner. If you haven't made any decent money then there is no real purpose to keep training at a serious level. Might as well take air pushups seriously. After 40 years of your life has gone by what have you really done to make this world better?

well serious is all relative. what do you define as serious? maybe we're not talking the whole no job, 120-140mpw full-time, maybe we're talking continuing to train and race still at a pretty competitive level (whatever you have time for in addition to your job)...maybe some share your belief that "If you haven't made any decent money then there is no real purpose to keep training at a serious level." there are a lot of people on this website who will disagree with that (but im also not sure what you mean by serious level).

but anyway point being you get the wife and kids thing along with a stressful job (perhaps something you have no choice but to continue doing just to pave the way for a gorgeous wife and kids) and pretty soon 5 years later a former NCAA distance athlete might have trouble breaking 20min at the local 5k.

It's not that simple of course. there are ways to balance it, but i think GirlProbs in COllege was just pointing out some of the advantages of not being locked down.

stuck with match.com wrote

Mentor, I believe you are mistaken. I am currently 23 and my therapist and placed me on high alert. (Meaning I could hurt myslef). I guess that means I'm a big loser, right?[/quote]

Making a story like this up! Yes, you are a loser.

Mike S - The church should have spent more time worrying about little boys be raped and otherwise molested and less time about whether their members are married, single etc.

The jokes on you, Leo! and I'm laughing HAHAHA! I feel your envy!

I LOVE MY LIFE! ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS WILL!!

Girl probs in college, its good to see you posting back on these boards. thank you for your response and your insight about how being in your early 20's is okay to be single. To the poster who told girl probs to not to take running so seriously, I disagree with you. He should be able to decide how much he wants to train and how much effort. Maybe to him taking it seriously is 60 mpw, maybe its 40 or a 100. Either way it still allows him to live a life.