NRR: Gettting married in two weeks. Need help with something

Cheers!

1) All-around

2) Brother.

Your in a bad situation but better you try to resolve it now then later.

Dont be afraid to make it awkward to get to the bottom of it.

Regardless of what her intent was or what actually happened you have a pretty good idea of what his was. She could have handled it a lot better on her end so you would not have felt hurt.

If a guy wants to go after a girl that is taken then they should fullx expect a wide range of things happening to them as payback. For guys that do that just dont complain when you do it to the wrong guy or it happens to you.

Ask her a few questions.

why you were not invited?

Why did she hang up on you?

Why so late?

How she would have felt if you did the same? This one can backfire.

Im sure you have many more.

Tell her if she cheated on you or does in the future that you may never find out but she will always know and everything you two after that will be a mistake.

Although, I told my ex that after she lied to me and cheated on me and said there was nothing else that if it happened again then I would never love her blah blah but she had problem cheating again, lying to me and living a lie. But at least I know I tried.

Major red flag here.

Dont walk...RUN away from this woman!

RUN!

You've ben given a glimpse of the future, don't ignore it.

Keep us posted

Ask yourself one question:

Would you like to be involved with or married to a woman who was with you only because she could not be with someone else?

If the answer is "Yes" then you have no self respect and are worthy of nothing more than being ignored or pitied.

If the answer is "No" then any man who goes for "your" girl is either irrelevant or doing you a favor.

This notion about an "unwritten man creed/law" is for the weak minded - as is the notion of a "home wrecker".

I was in a situation similar with my ex girlfriend. There was some guy who I could tell was blatantly hitting on my girlfriend. At first I ignored it and let it go, but he just kept hitting on her. It bothered me, so I told her. Her response was oh no he's just being friendly, blah blah blah. I said fine, you know this friend better than I do. Well a few weeks later he was hanging out with her and told that he had a crush on her. She told him I'm my boyfriend and that is that. I'm sorry. She then told me, you know you were right. He was hitting on me, and I didn't realize what was going on. My point is a lot of time girls in relationships do not know when a guy is hitting on them and they confuse it with being friendly. I knew what that scumbag was up to and I hated it. But my ex thought differently. It turns out I was right. So I think the OP was in similar situation.

Gag me with a spoon. Unfortunately, this is exactly the type of tips one must expect from someone who is anti-Rupp. What would the G. Rupp do? The G. Rupp would dump this woman because the G. Rupp is a conservative, jersey snapping, opponent mocking, masculine Christian male who can always get another chick to bear his babies.

stuck - you're a f***ing idiot and nobody wants to hear your shtick here. Zip it bub.

What Would G. Rupp Do? wrote:

Gag me with a spoon. Unfortunately, this is exactly the type of tips one must expect from someone who is anti-Rupp. What would the G. Rupp do? The G. Rupp would dump this woman because the G. Rupp is a conservative, jersey snapping, opponent mocking, masculine Christian male who can always get another chick to bear his babies.

Oh I see now, the anti Stuck Trolls are out tonight. Okay big shot, what sort of advice do you have for the OP. To dump his fiance just because Galen Rupp would do that? Thats smart, because the OP is clearly like Galen Rupp.

This is the problem with letsrun. Everybody here acts all macho, oh dump this girl the minute she isn't 100% perfect and go find yourself another girl. I feel like that is the usual advice on here. If the girl doesn't do everything that you expect her to do then she isn't right for you, and so on. You do realize what you are saying, right? You are clearly degrading women. You expect them to be 100%, because you as a guy are 100% worth it and never make a mistake.

LETS BE CLEAR HERE, WE ARE ALL HUMANS, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. In this situation all three people made a mistake. They were small mistakes and it would be easy to get past them all. You are saying to dump this girl because she made 1, YES JUST 1 MISTAKE. I believe in forgive, and forget. Now if this happens again then yes I would be suspicious, but the OP's fiance like all other women, are human. They will not be 100% perfect, no girl will be 100% perfect. Accept that because you if you don't you will live a lonely life because you will never find a girl.

The OP has clearly found true love, he is getting married to this girl. I have seen no prior reports of previous issues between them. Why do you feel its okay to come on here and essentially ruin what could be a great marriage? You think its justified, just because of one incident, IN WHICH NOTHING HAPPENED.

The OP's fiance probably didn't invite him because it would be awkward. You have two friends who are catching up and it would be him. The conversation would be about things that he wouldn't get because he did not go to high school with them. Why is it such a big deal that is 45 minutes, each way. Have you never traveled that far to see a friend? I know I have, many times. Yes even friends that were girls. Why didn't the Fiance tell the OP about what happened? Simple because the OP has proven to be the jealous type and she probably figured that it would do more harm than good in telling him.

So go on, keep telling guys to break up with girlfriends, fiance's and wives because the lady commits just one mistake. It's almost like you guys are trying to make up for something, something that you lack. Oh yes thats right you guys lack a meaningful relationship with an actual girl.

stuck, I agreed with you up until your last post. I agree with mandarin and others. If a girl is truly in love with you, she wouldn't even consider meeting up with an old flame. The same way I would never go out solo with another girl that's not my wife even if she was the hottest babe in town or my bff from high school.

There's nothing wrong with a guy showing some masculine passion, including getting pissed off in precisely the way you got pissed off.

Don't beat yourself up. You got a little carried away, but what you did isn't a big sin.

I think there's a real problem here, and I can guarantee you that marriage is NOT going to resolve it. Only you and your fiancee sitting down and speaking heart to heart can possibly resolve it.

As far as I'm concerned, you were absolutely right to get pissed off, suspicious, and freaked out. It's what, two weeks before the wedding? You're supposed to be focused on each other and on the event.

Your future wife, or future ex-fiance, is testing you. So it's crucially important that you don't lose your balance. Anger, passion, are fine. But whining is never attractive.

Forgiveness is an absolute core value in any marriage. This might be a good time to start practicing. But it's also an extremely good time to speak frankly, sincerely, about where you are and WHO you are. Trust is as much a core value as forgiveness.

Ask her point blank: Do you love me? Do you REALLY want to marry me? Before you do that, interrogate your own heart. Do you, in fact, love HER? If you do, then tell her, and hold her hand when you tell her. But also request true sincerity and forthrightness from her. DOES she love you? Can she take your hand and tell you that? After all, you're supposed to be pledging your mutual troth to each other in a couple of weeks. If she is in ANY doubt now about how she feels, you should postpone the wedding.

No weasel words on either side. Marriage is too important. It's not a game. It's a life-partnership. It's about saying, from you heart, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded spouse--to have and to hold," etc.

It sounds, frankly, as though you two are a long way from that.

So no fault. Maybe you're not right for each other. It's infinitely better to admit that now then to admit it after the wedding.

Above all, do NOT go through with the wedding simply because you don't want to "embarrass" yourselves by postponing or calling it off.

This might be a good time to bring in the minister or rabbi or whomever is wedding you. Take the damned thing seriously! It's not GLEE. It's not high school.

Actually, I'm happily married with three children ages 5, 3, and 1. Since my wife is still hot, going to keep knocking her up approximately every 2 years until the house runs out of rooms, and even then we might get another house. ;-)

Galen Rupp really should be the Letsrun role model, because even though he looks like a 14-15 year old boy, he always acted like a alpha-male rooster and it landed him a pretty gf soon to be wife.

My highschool XC coach told his own son, who was on my varsity team, his secrets to getting women (including the boy's mother, the homecoming queeen) was always to assert the dominance women crave, not asking a girl "Want to go out to the movies this weekend?" but rather "Come with me to the movies this weekend" as statement bordering on command.

Your talk of respecting her, jealousy, and how a woman will/should react to that. Hahaha. My experience with women, and that of the men I know who are successful with women, is the exact opposite. Any woman worth having likes a healthy degree of being made to feel like she belongs to you, needs it, and will cheat on any metrosexual Democrat who doesn't provide it.

Not being up front about this BEFORE she went out with the guy seals the deal for me. Call off the wedding, be very sad and distraught for a while, then move on. What was she thinking??? No way in HELL I would have mucked about wasting time with a female friend from years-gone-by while my wife and I were getting ready for our wedding, and she wouldn't have either. Shows a lack of consideration for your feelings at best, and we all know what the worst-case scenario is. You should be thanking her for showing you this BEFORE the wedding.

My friend you need some help. Contact us. We have the right thing for you. To make you forget your sorrows.

they've been living together for years!! this guy clearly overreacts with excessive jealousy at the drop of a hat, so this is the first time she's done anything remotely like this! and half of you want him to not marry because she had dinner and drinks with a male friend from high school?? once!!

i don't know what to say. you people are crazy. i honestly feel sorry for your partners.

This is probably the only time in the history of letsrun that we're in agreement. I would not go as far as to say she's a bad person, however I agree with the rest of it.

I've read a bit more of the thread and have a few more comments.

If I had seen the email, I would not have said anything about it. I might have read the rest of the emails, and still not said anything about them. Certainly do not ever admit that you read them! That would be a big no no! Her email is her business, married or not. The same for yours. Okay, so if you read them then just keep it to yourself, forever. And I would not call the guy, not for any reason. That would just give some power to him, and bring him closer to her. Whatever. Now if she got killed or something, you could give the info to police. Otherwise it is none of your business.

Now, when she got home, I would not say anything. If that was after your bedtime then you should be asleep already, and don't get up or wake up when she's home. Just keep sleeping, get up in the morning and go on with your day.

At this point, if anything changes or you don't feel right about something, then proceed from that point. What I would do then is to postpone the wedding. But don't make a big deal about it. Just do it. Don't be a drama queen. Basically just postpone the wedding and carry on like before. See what happens then. See how the relationship is going. See if it's what you want to be in, or not. At this point you DO NOT KNOW. So you have to postpone the wedding, there is no other choice. Either the relationship works or it doesn't. You will find this out, with time. You can't figure it all out today or tonight or this week because you don't have a crystal ball and you can't predict the future. For this you need time. The only way to have time is to take the time and to give yourself time.

So I would take the time, create the space, be happy, go on with your life, and then you will see what happens. Either it will work out or it won't. Either way, however it works out will be the best for you. The key is to make the most of your life, which does not depend on anyone else but you, and you living your life.

Also I agree that she is probably having sex with him.

But I would not make a big deal about that or even mention it.

Just go on with your life, and then you will see what you want to do.

By now someone has probably already said this.

1. The girlfriend lied to you...at least by omission.

2. You do not under any means want to marry a duplicitous woman.

3. Kick her to the curb. (Ask her to move out).

DIVEST, DIVEST, DIVEST.

People who have nothing to hide do not get mad as hell.

They explain themselves, and after 7 years of being together, and in impending wedding, the understand your being a little concerned about happenings.

Kick this woman out, move forward with your life. Do not listen to any of her excuses or begging etc.

She's got cold feet, your better off finding out now.

I doubt you have the self respect to take this advice.

Just a note here, women are often attracted to Loud Arrogant Guys, because they mistake it for Confidence and the ability to take care of themselves and therefore the woman...in the world.

Loud, arrogant guys get laid a lot. Even guys who fake it and play at being loud and arrogant, and having the balls to flirt right in front of you? She digs his moxie.