Modern life is just too complicated. No wonder there is a mental health crisis.

calfshrug wrote:

I'm essentially one of your deadweight folk, right now. And funny, because my parents make 220K+ net and my brother is very successful and married to a doctor.

I scored in the top 5% on the PSAT when I was in middle school. 7th grade was my peak, in some ways, and it only went downhill, because of the fact that I didn't have the mental health resources I needed. Seventh grade was also when I began being addicted to RuneScape, and it's also when I began regularly looking at porn - these would become increasingly critical as time went on, as they became a surrogate for proper socialization - a crutch.

Many of my peers, and teammates, switched schools after 7th grade to attend either public or charter schools. Went from having a blowout amazing 7th-8th grade with record numbers going out for track, to then losing lots of good teammates, and then of course, my older brother's class graduated after my 8th grade year. I spent high school retreating inward, feeling that social life at a rich WASP school where I lived 30 miles from everyone and had to commute there and back everyday was not only inconvenient, but that I was just never good enough.

To this day, that school has good reviews for its teachers, but scattershot feedback on its student body. Many will say things along the lines of what I felt - elitism, passive bullying, just people making you feel ignored.

At this Christian school, in the wake of my shame consciousness I'd already had as a child, it began to foment more and more.

As I suffered in silence, ashamed of myself, angry, watching porn and playing MMO, scrambling to erase the browsing history and cleaning up, each and every time I'd hear the garage opener; every time I'd go to school and feel inadequate and that nobody would accept me for my social inadequacy, looks I believed were detestable, and my faltering faith, I would cement the idea that I was not good enough.

I squandered opportunity because I hated myself, was loving being immersed in coping mechanisms that made me feel validated in the ways that people should through their social and scholastic lives, and couldn't bear to expose all of shame and fear to my parents, who are hard working, bear-it-on-your back, serious Protestants. Serious insofar as the handling of eternal salvation; but also in regards to any sexual, vocal, or bodily expression. Spilling tears and all of my inadequacies and my fear of hell due to my tenuous faith - that was a no-go.

Not a whiner wrote:

RichardRider wrote:

You have been taught to quit instead of thrive. Try LIVING for today while planning for tomorrow. It's one thing that separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.

So many Darwin cases. Probably better off letting them go to survive the species that will thrive. Natural selection. I choose not to give handouts but rather handups. If they refuse, so be it.

You strike a balance. Put a little aside for tomorrow, but also spend a little on experiences and material goods today.

Most importantly, don't work a super stressful job or pull lots of overtime. It's not worth it. I chatted up some locals on my trip to Europe last year, and you know what one of them told me?

"I don't know why so many of you Americans talk about freedom but work like slaves."

They work 35 hour weeks and have 5 weeks of vacation a year.

Snowflakealley wrote:

Not a whiner wrote:

You strike a balance. Put a little aside for tomorrow, but also spend a little on experiences and material goods today.

Most importantly, don't work a super stressful job or pull lots of overtime. It's not worth it. I chatted up some locals on my trip to Europe last year, and you know what one of them told me?

"I don't know why so many of you Americans talk about freedom but work like slaves."

They work 35 hour weeks and have 5 weeks of vacation a year.

My parents lived during the Depression, World War 2, Cold War, Vietnam War, etc. and they worked their tails off every day and never whined about it. Gird up snowflakes, life is hard. That’s what makes it so satisfying, if you can navigate it. Everyone wants to be financially comfortable, economically secure, happy and not overworked, and wake up every day with the world by the b**ls, but that’s a fantasy. Work hard and maybe you’ll get some things coming to you. If you don’t want to work hard then you’re soft and making the world a lesser place.

calfshrug wrote:

I'm essentially one of your deadweight folk, right now. And funny, because my parents make 220K+ net and my brother is very successful and married to a doctor.

I scored in the top 5% on the PSAT when I was in middle school. 7th grade was my peak, in some ways, and it only went downhill, because of the fact that I didn't have the mental health resources I needed. Seventh grade was also when I began being addicted to RuneScape, and it's also when I began regularly looking at porn - these would become increasingly critical as time went on, as they became a surrogate for proper socialization - a crutch.

Many of my peers, and teammates, switched schools after 7th grade to attend either public or charter schools. Went from having a blowout amazing 7th-8th grade with record numbers going out for track, to then losing lots of good teammates, and then of course, my older brother's class graduated after my 8th grade year. I spent high school retreating inward, feeling that social life at a rich WASP school where I lived 30 miles from everyone and had to commute there and back everyday was not only inconvenient, but that I was just never good enough.

To this day, that school has good reviews for its teachers, but scattershot feedback on its student body. Many will say things along the lines of what I felt - elitism, passive bullying, just people making you feel ignored.

At this Christian school, in the wake of my shame consciousness I'd already had as a child, it began to foment more and more.

As I suffered in silence, ashamed of myself, angry, watching porn and playing MMO, scrambling to erase the browsing history and cleaning up, each and every time I'd hear the garage opener; every time I'd go to school and feel inadequate and that nobody would accept me for my social inadequacy, looks I believed were detestable, and my faltering faith, I would cement the idea that I was not good enough.

I squandered opportunity because I hated myself, was loving being immersed in coping mechanisms that made me feel validated in the ways that people should through their social and scholastic lives, and couldn't bear to expose all of shame and fear to my parents, who are hard working, bear-it-on-your back, serious Protestants. Serious insofar as the handling of eternal salvation; but also in regards to any sexual, vocal, or bodily expression. Spilling tears and all of my inadequacies and my fear of hell due to my tenuous faith - that was a no-go.

calfshrug wrote:

I'm essentially one of your deadweight folk, right now. And funny, because my parents make 220K+ net and my brother is very successful and married to a doctor.

I scored in the top 5% on the PSAT when I was in middle school. 7th grade was my peak, in some ways, and it only went downhill, because of the fact that I didn't have the mental health resources I needed. Seventh grade was also when I began being addicted to RuneScape, and it's also when I began regularly looking at porn - these would become increasingly critical as time went on, as they became a surrogate for proper socialization - a crutch.

Many of my peers, and teammates, switched schools after 7th grade to attend either public or charter schools. Went from having a blowout amazing 7th-8th grade with record numbers going out for track, to then losing lots of good teammates, and then of course, my older brother's class graduated after my 8th grade year. I spent high school retreating inward, feeling that social life at a rich WASP school where I lived 30 miles from everyone and had to commute there and back everyday was not only inconvenient, but that I was just never good enough.

To this day, that school has good reviews for its teachers, but scattershot feedback on its student body. Many will say things along the lines of what I felt - elitism, passive bullying, just people making you feel ignored.

At this Christian school, in the wake of my shame consciousness I'd already had as a child, it began to foment more and more.

As I suffered in silence, ashamed of myself, angry, watching porn and playing MMO, scrambling to erase the browsing history and cleaning up, each and every time I'd hear the garage opener; every time I'd go to school and feel inadequate and that nobody would accept me for my social inadequacy, looks I believed were detestable, and my faltering faith, I would cement the idea that I was not good enough.

I squandered opportunity because I hated myself, was loving being immersed in coping mechanisms that made me feel validated in the ways that people should through their social and scholastic lives, and couldn't bear to expose all of shame and fear to my parents, who are hard working, bear-it-on-your back, serious Protestants. Serious insofar as the handling of eternal salvation; but also in regards to any sexual, vocal, or bodily expression. Spilling tears and all of my inadequacies and my fear of hell due to my tenuous faith - that was a no-go.

calfshrug wrote:

I'm essentially one of your deadweight folk, right now. And funny, because my parents make 220K+ net and my brother is very successful and married to a doctor.

I scored in the top 5% on the PSAT when I was in middle school. 7th grade was my peak, in some ways, and it only went downhill, because of the fact that I didn't have the mental health resources I needed. Seventh grade was also when I began being addicted to RuneScape, and it's also when I began regularly looking at porn - these would become increasingly critical as time went on, as they became a surrogate for proper socialization - a crutch.

Many of my peers, and teammates, switched schools after 7th grade to attend either public or charter schools. Went from having a blowout amazing 7th-8th grade with record numbers going out for track, to then losing lots of good teammates, and then of course, my older brother's class graduated after my 8th grade year. I spent high school retreating inward, feeling that social life at a rich WASP school where I lived 30 miles from everyone and had to commute there and back everyday was not only inconvenient, but that I was just never good enough.

To this day, that school has good reviews for its teachers, but scattershot feedback on its student body. Many will say things along the lines of what I felt - elitism, passive bullying, just people making you feel ignored.

At this Christian school, in the wake of my shame consciousness I'd already had as a child, it began to foment more and more.

As I suffered in silence, ashamed of myself, angry, watching porn and playing MMO, scrambling to erase the browsing history and cleaning up, each and every time I'd hear the garage opener; every time I'd go to school and feel inadequate and that nobody would accept me for my social inadequacy, looks I believed were detestable, and my faltering faith, I would cement the idea that I was not good enough.

I squandered opportunity because I hated myself, was loving being immersed in coping mechanisms that made me feel validated in the ways that people should through their social and scholastic lives, and couldn't bear to expose all of shame and fear to my parents, who are hard working, bear-it-on-your back, serious Protestants. Serious insofar as the handling of eternal salvation; but also in regards to any sexual, vocal, or bodily expression. Spilling tears and all of my inadequacies and my fear of hell due to my tenuous faith - that was a no-go.

Not a whiner wrote:

sdfkjsdgpp wrote:

The whiners here, it's amazing. What a weak generation.

Get a good job and do it well. Work overtime whenever you can. Save your money instead of blowing it on experiences and material garbage. Max your 401k for about 20 years. Only then you get to relax. But you will relax all the way to the end.

The problem is that you may not live long enough to enjoy what you've worked for. I know quite a few people who've died before 50 and never got to enjoy that 401k. Some risks like car accidents, heart disease, and murder can be reduced but not eliminated, and there are an awful lot of things that are completely unpreventable like brain cancer, nail melanoma, ALS, and so on.

You work hard, do lots of overtime, stockpile cash, and forgo experiences and material things. A month before you retire, that stomach pain you've brushed off as something else turns out to be incurable pancreatic cancer, and you have less than a year to live. The cancer treatments will leave you too worn down to cross off the things on your bucket list, and if you seek palliative care instead, you'll die even earlier.

Is that how you want to go out? F*** that, I'd rather do the things I want to now and throw myself off a bridge at 80 (with zero cents to my name at that time) if I live that long. And I'll do that with a big smile on my face because most 80+ year olds are in long term care and can't do anything aside from watching TV, playing bingo, and going to doctors appointments. For me, that's not a life worth living.

sdfkjsdgpp wrote:

Man, you really need to find God in your life. I'm sure now I'll get a million downvotes. Let me tell you how it is: you have no ability to predict or control what will happen to you in your life. All you can do is hope for the best. When you start out worrying about all these terrible things that might happen, you are not living your life. You are paralyzed by your lack of control.

If you found God, you would be able to let go and trust that you are in good hands. If bad things happen to you in this life, you have the afterlife to look forward to.

In this life everything can and will go wrong without warning. You have to have a purpose other than hedonism. ...

Live your life. Along the way, you'll find that your best experiences will not be the big ski trips you planned on taking or things you were gonna buy. ...My uncle was out on a road trip visiting his kids and suddenly felt very tired. They went home, went to the doctor and he found out he had pancreatic cancer. He lived for about 2 more weeks.