If you break up, what are the odds you find a suitable mother and live a happy life with her and a family? It's possible you never find a suitable replacement and then you'll still have no kids. Or you have kids with the wrong person and your life is miserable.
Life is about being happy and enjoying it. Ending a perfect relationship will almost always be a mistake. Are potential kids worth the risk of ruining your life?
It is very true that breaking up does not guarantee finding someone else, having kids, any of that. That is part of what I have been thinking about. However, your last sentence equating ending a relationship to ruining your life seems beyond dramatic to me. I have a great life outside of my relationship and do pretty well even when I'm single. A great relationship is still a huge asset, but I would never view ending a relationship as "ruining my life."
Expert here. Women view men as providers when shiz "gets real" within a relationship. She may not initially analyze this, but could realize later in the relationship that the man is not at a level of provider which she would like. Now he could have it together and be a good provider, but ultimately it's the woman's subjective call that decides the jury verdict. Of course, if the woman decides she wants to abort mission regarding the relationship because the man doesn't make 100k or more per year or something, she will very likely not state this explicitly. She will start giving the man a hard time, start questioning whether the relationship is working, stuff like that to begin the process of breaking up. She knows if ahead states explicitly why, she'll be shunned as a gold digger or some subset of that dubious distinction. That's why she'll come up with an alternative for abortion.
Who thinks 100k is a lot? lol. I wouldn’t even try to date a woman unless I made at least 150k- that’s the bare minimum.
You must be poor. It’s so easy to make 150k with minimal effort. If a woman settles for a man who makes less, she’s not attractive or of value.
and I’m saying 150k is baseline, of course as you age and in 30s, you will need much more than this to be consider even close to successful as man.
i will never let my daughter marry anyone who thinks just making a peasants 100k is good.
if you find a 100 people 99 are idiots. Depending on region could be all 100. You need to someone who is closer to top 1 in 10000 random people, then maybe you will have a good life.
show me 10000 people and I will show you 9999 losers.
If your "gf is near perfect, a true life partner", then you have your answer. Propose to her and stop whining.
I find childless couples to be very close to each other. Like real soul mates.
Look at it this way: all your life you will be the centre of attention for your wife. You won't be second place for 20+ years.
Childless couples are statistically- like 10x more likely to have “mixed sexual orientation marriages” meaning the guy is gay and the woman is straight and the dude lied about it and only reveals later
These couples also often say “we are soulmates” while they f other people. Do not fall for this absurd demonic smoke and mirrors.
when people talk of love and goodness- bar the doors and run. They are evil.
so I’m sure all your gay male friends on grinder who haven’t told their wives yet- manipulate theme properly by selling them the “we are soulmates” desert every night.
there is no more romantic a man- than a man who is gay and friends his “best friend” it’s psychologically related to the fact you bond stronger with people you torture or hurt.
so yeah not buying your “couples with no kids are soul mates” yorue probably just a gay runner and to it wife still doesn’t understand why you obssess over your body and endurance sports but if she just googled the research papers on it- all gay men are OCD by definition (they find woman are ick) but the ones who are really OCD and religious or value status- are always “romantic” as surface level.
these are the sexless marriages who also say they “still live each other so much”
it’s an abomination. If you lie to your wife on your wedding night and tell her “oh I’m so sorry 30 years later” you never loved her, you were the devil. You ruined her life!
I would know because I have guy friends that still haven’t told their wives lol and they told me and you should see their weddings and honeymoons and Facebook albums- they are so damn romantic it makes me want to drink. I don’t tell their wives - it’s not my place, but i do judge them for it. It’s not an excuse to lie just because you want to keep your parents happy, it’s wrong. Always will be.
She wouldn’t be perfect for you if you wanted kids and she didn’t.
There is no perfect person. She is the best woman I have ever dated. It just so happens she is not able to have kids. I don't think it is likely I would meet another woman out there who is equally good who also can have kids. So I need to decide between an exceptional woman who I cannot have kids with or a theoretical woman who is not as good of a match but who I can have kids with.
We struggled to have a second child, decided to adopt, and then my wife got pregnant right before the adoption was finalized. So my answer is that I would not break up in your situation, but mostly because I feel differently about adoption.
One thing is for sure: I would have raised the topic of surrogacy by now rather than assuming it was off the table because you know lots of women who are repulsed by the idea. That's a strange rationale for not even discussing it with your girlfriend when you are considering dropping her because you want biological kids.
I guess you made it clear that you don't think she would bond adequately with a child that she didn't give birth to. (I also disagree with that. Perhaps invest some time in research on psychology, bonding, and adoption before you make a final call.)