AncientRunner wrote:
Hit it and Quit it......problem solved
have you considered being a family and intimacy therapist?
AncientRunner wrote:
Hit it and Quit it......problem solved
have you considered being a family and intimacy therapist?
Impossible to give advice without pictures. If she's super-hot, it obviously overrides everything you describe.
BTW you sound a but of a limp d yourself, maybe you both can use therapy.
limpie wrote:
Impossible to give advice without pictures. If she's super-hot, it obviously overrides everything you describe.
BTW you sound a but of a limp d yourself, maybe you both can use therapy.
But her being super hot can not override his being a limp d. That’s a dangerously squishy combination.
tough read wrote:
It's not uncommon, but also not 'normal'
Iit is very likely that she is suffering from poor mental health and needs some professional help. Chances are there is still a wonderful person underneath her struggles and if you help her through this you will both come out the better side much better people.
There's a lot of misogny and other rubbish in this thread. Please take it with a grain of salt. Steve the Addict and his friends are not the beacons of healthy relationships and insight that they claim to be.
Again, responding to this and a few other replies like it, I think I may have not represented her exactly fairly, or maybe some people are reading into things a bit too far. She is not a negative person, nor do I feel like she's dragging me down. We have fun and laugh together. But. There does seem to be an underlying current of unhappiness and discontent inside her, almost like a wandering/searching sort of thing. I think she is unhappy with some things about her life that are not easily fixed or healed from... She fulfills all her duties and responsibilities, does put in the effort to take care of herself physically, but at the same time doesn't seem very ambitious or like she's striving for anything. Really it seems like she's more just trying to make it through a lot of the time, like just trying to make it through this week, this month, etc. I have felt like that at times in my life too, but usually it was due to a specific reason, not just because I was overwhelmed by life in general.
I guess for me, part of why I don't know what to think about it all is that in spite of this, she's a great woman and person and the best woman I've ever dated. At the same time, when I think about it logically, it does seem like the time, resources, emotional effort, etc is flowing mainly, almost exclusively, from me to her. I make a lot more than her, I don't really have many problems in my life, and I feel like I'm on a much more upward path than she is. She still listens to me and cares about me and my life, makes me food, etc, but it feels like I'm kind of taking care of her in life, and she needs me a lot more than I need her, if I'm being honest...
I need to think some more... Thank you for the responses. I've been pretty surprised by the thoughtfulness and quality of them given this is letsrun.
No one seems to be asking what her job is like. Some are genuinely horrible - soul destroying, exhausting, confidence sapping, anxiety and depression inducing. And that can be the case with a 40hr/wk job as much as it can with 50+hrs (why has that been allowed to become the cultural standard for proper full time work, remember when it was 9-5?). It's not even good enough to just work hard anymore, now you must work hard with a song in your heart and nary an utterance of complaint! Dystopian
Maybe she work a horrible job and you have the good fortune to work in a relatively chill one, or at least one you're more suited to. And after all she can still hold down a job and fulfil her responsibilities despite finding it a struggle, which shows resilience and mental strength regardless that she doesn't pretend to be happy about it