Every parent I know wishes they had their kids earlier and wishes they had more kids.
The pursuit of money and the idea of endless partying is the source of most of our misery and drug abuse. I did everything that people think they want (delayed marriage, make the money early, etc) and it wasn't that exciting. My life since I got married is so much better.
My sister did it the other way, having her kids right out of college at 22 when she was a lowly teacher. She now has a PhD, is a superintendent, has 3 grown kids and 3 grandchildren, is still young, and lives in a 3 million dollar house. She's had a perfect life.
Have the kids early. It makes you grow up fast. As soon as you're grown up, you figure out how to make the big $ because you have to. Also, kids make all the hard work worth it.
Just my 2 cents.
The $3Million house in Bay Area is a mobile home form 1980 you and your sister lived in.
Lol my sister lives in on a 28 acre hillside property with a killer view of Mt Rainier. They paid 750k for the property/house in 2001.
(2) Both work, pay down house and build a big 401(K) nest egg
(3) At 30 have kids and wife can be a SAHM
It's a good start. I would encourage you to start having kids earlier as women's fertility start to decline around 30. If you wait til 30 (or later), you may find it harder to achieve pregnancy. Starting later also makes it harder to have a big family.
Your advice assumes that the priority for children is high enough that the couple should start earlier to increase the odds of pregnancy (my two children were born when my wife was 34 and 37, respectively, with zero issues getting pregnant). It also assumes that the couple want a large family, but in fact very few people seem to want more than two these days.
The "problem" with having kids is that once you have them, there's no turning back. If you hate having kids (many do) then you're stuck for life. It can be ruinous for some people. You just don't know.
Furthermore, having kids these days is more about personally psychological fulfillment and in some cases, status-seeking. Peter Zeihan made the observation that having many kids has gone from an "asset" (when we worked on farms, more kids = more labor and security in old age) to a "liability" (as we mostly live in cities/suburbs now, kids something you need to spend massive resources on to raise properly).
Moreover, the social safety net that used to support big families has been fragmented and atomized. We all live separate lives now, no multi-generational households or grandparents living down the block.
Not to mention the religious pressure of having kids which, for the most part, no longer exists in the western world.
So if we're thinking about kids in a completely rational way...
1. Kids are more like expensive pets than assets these days
2. There is very little religious or societal pressure to have kids anymore
3. Kids are very expensive and raising them today requires an enormous amount of attention, energy, money and savvy.
4. Kids could ruin your life if you're not someone who can handle modern parenting.
Reasons to have kids:
1. They make me feel good / bring my life meaning.
LOL
There is so much sick narcisissm in this post that it would take me pages to unravel it point by point.
TLDR version: Anyone who thinks kids were only an asset when they were good for farm labor is probably someone who would be comfortable owning a slave.
Being a good parent is a choice you have to make. If you constantly choose yourself over your kids, the outcome is pretty predictable.
The $3Million house in Bay Area is a mobile home form 1980 you and your sister lived in.
Lol my sister lives in on a 28 acre hillside property with a killer view of Mt Rainier. They paid 750k for the property/house in 2001.
Congrats to your sister. In general I think it is silly for posters to assume what economic and family planning is best for all couples. I take issue with your statement about size of families, however. I'm in my 70s and everyone I know had children. But with few exceptions they had no more than two, and none of them expressed disappointment in not having more. And none of them have ever mentioned whether they wish they had started families earlier, so I'd guess that it isn't an issue for them.
Still as true as when I heard this and it resonated at, arguably, way too young of an age.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' On your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much Or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Seriously, if this thread is not just trolling, keep this in mind as you face the vicissitudes and vagaries of life. Always dream, always try your best, and always accept that the end result is not the point it is the struggle, the journey. Which brings me to a great piece of poetic advice,
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
Still as true as when I heard this and it resonated at, arguably, way too young of an age.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' On your 75th wedding anniversary Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much Or berate yourself either Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Seriously, if this thread is not just trolling, keep this in mind as you face the vicissitudes and vagaries of life. Always dream, always try your best, and always accept that the end result is not the point it is the struggle, the journey. Which brings me to a great piece of poetic advice,
If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
- R Kipling
I wish you'd post here more often. Goosebumps twice in one post? And on a troll thread, nonetheless!