I Don’t Fit in With Runners

insiders and outsiders wrote:

Obviously, this is a polarizing topic. As you've already noticed from your experiences, most people operate in their lives on the basis of form. When you're interfacing with people from predominantly wealthy backgrounds who value health, appearance, pleasure, etc., it's almost inevitable that they'll be unable to relate to an introspective, sensitive, and cerebral boot strapper such as yourself. Most people do whatever they can to avoid pain and pursue pleasure... If you're looking to connect on a deeper, meaningful level which requires facing the vicissitudes of life head on, you're barking up the wrong tree, not just with runners but with anyone.

I can say this because I've had this experience and I've had it with other runners I went to high school with and was friends with into my late twenties. On a surface level when we were kids, we got along mostly fine, even darn well. As we got older, this changed. The things I experienced in my life and they in theirs made us strangers to each other. More than that, this undercurrent of tension began to exist. We lost touch when the pandemic started and to be honest, I think that's for the best.

Where I've landed on this is very different than what most people, particularly Westerners, would suggest. I've been exploring meditation practice in the Zen Buddhist tradition for a couple of years which has completely changed my perception on these topics. I won't go woo woo on you, but what I can say is that a whole new world opens up to you when you reside in a place of nonjudgmental awareness in your dealings with others. What a gift it might be for other people you interact with if you're completely present with them and listen attentively without waiting for your turn to talk?

Good luck! We're all on different places on our journeys through life, try to be kind to others and, most importantly, yourself.

iLikeTrack wrote:

I'm 66 and find myself thinking about competing in Masters track to meet like-minded people for conversation. I had impactful careers in track & field, Silicon Valley, Hollywood and Wall Street and now live on several acres in the middle of the woods on a mountain in a remote rural area. I made myself he highest-performing guy in all my environments and as many people resented as admired me. I didn't want either. I was better than any of my coaches or bosses. Everyone's lazy. I work hard and smart and earned a D1 athletic scholarship and was taken to the Oscars by the most influential exec in Hollywood history nine months after not knowing a soul in that industry. I never thought about being my school's biggest star or going to the Oscars, those things just happened. I had fun and made people laugh all along the way. I never do anything for validation and never cared about what people thought. I have no idea what people get out of gossip and being insecure. That takes work. I'm only concerned with practical meaningful things. When I finally found guys I felt were smarter than me (SV and Hwood legends), they interrupted our conversations to focus on my intelligence, which interrupted the flow of those conversations. I hate that. I'm talking to a world-famous accomplished guy and he wants me to talk about me. I'm bored with me (not really). I met a Harvard Econ professor that had been nominated for a Nobel Prize at a party given in his honor in Berkeley in 1981. I got there late, was not in that field and had no idea who he was. I just knew it was a big outdoor party. That guy looked like Harvard; 6'5" handsome, looked ready to play in the NBA, square-jawed, economical with his words (npi), direct. I was 22 and within a few minutes of meeting me he announced to the party that I was one of the most intelligent and impressive young people he'd ever met. Even at that moment I didn't know what I said to make him announce that. Everyone else were Econ nerds from all over the country desperate to get one minute alone with that guy. I knew nothing about him and he made me the star if his party. All those Econ students wanted to kill me. In thinking about it, it may have been as much as swipe at everyone else as a nice-thing about me. They were pretty dull and academics is brutal. My friend's mom (a Berkeley Econ professor), who hosted the party, couldn't have been more happy with me which made my friend happy with me and guaranteed me snooty party invites for life. See? The people that matter most like me, the others, not so much. I keep getting benefits that don't occur to me. I just went to a party and scored all kind of prestige points, which would've been great if I was into that. My entire life is like that. The world's best example. I'm the only person i know that tells people to stop complimenting me and to not give me awards (that don't come with a check), especially bosses. All that does is make everyone else resentful. I got stories. And I'm obviously full of talk. Your comment lets me know I'd be alone among other runners. I'd be interesting to everyone else and get questions nonstop then I'd have to go through that cycle all over again. I have a lot of hobbies but few things are as gratifying as mutually respectful stimulating conversation. The closest I get is watching Jeopardy. There's no way I'm keeping up this wall of ego. Can we contact each other so I can get on your nerves, too?