My kids are now grown, but we had a 1-1/2-year-old and then twins, so 3 in diapers at the same time. I can relate to almost all of the posts. Lack of sleep is perhaps the main issue. Myself and my wife probably went 7 years with never getting more that a single nights sleep in a row, maybe 2 in a row one every few months if we were lucky.
dude I remember those days and nights. It gets easier, much easier. At some point they become actual rational humans that you can communicate with. You will have different worries as they get older, but you will have more time for yourself. Parenting is tough if you try to do a good job, it will payoff.
44 years old here. My wife and I have 6 kids, 13-18 (2 adopted in 2020). Very busy with activities but slowly getting a little less hectic as we have more drivers. We also delegate a lot of logistics planning to our kids to help with. Sunday evenings are when we plan the week ahead as a family.
My wife has been a stay at home Mom for years. We couldn’t swing it otherwise.
I have a demanding (at times) job and run 5 days per week of about 30 miles.
I loved those times. They develop so much at that age and they are so cute. I liked the work the work that went into it. It was satisfying.
Now I’m over 50 and they are 17 and 19. They are shaping their own lives now.
Don’t think of this as a time to get through. You’re gonna live your whole life that way if that’s your attitude. Embrace this time and realize they will only be this age once.
48 years old here with 7 kids (all with the same wife of 27 years)... 2 are out of the house (but we still worry a bit about one of them). Another is wrapping up college, has a "great" job lined up and will be quite fine (though not very social). Then, 2 currently in High School - ugh. Number 6 is 10 years old and smiles a lot, and then we got a bonus baby that is 4 years old and incredibly stubborn. Yay! It's all easy-peasy! jk
You think life is hard when you're younger, but you didn't really know. Life then gets "hard", but you survive. The sun keeps coming up. Your parents and other loved ones pass away. Your dreams become laughably unattainable. And, you know you're on deck to be completely forgotten.
Maybe you made an infinitesimal difference in a worldly sense. Maybe you were an overall net positive for your kids / spouse - though they bring a lot of their own stuff to that equation. Maybe it's not all meaningless despite all appearances. A hard life isn't necessarily a bad life.
The end! :) Have a great week!
I think social media has changed a lot of this--and the comparison trap makes it worse. I struggle with that. Realizing you aren't special is very humbling, but it also grounds you and makes you humbler.
That's the only thing with kids--and pets too--you have to re-arrange your entire life around them. But as others said here, you make do.
I'm 60 and my girls are 25 and 23 so I was in your position at your age. The time will fly and you'll one day realize you have two wonderful young adults in your life. My wife and I now have more time to ourselves, more spending money and can please ourselves- which includes taking trips to go out to dinners with our daughters and their partners. Good times
I'm noticing a few of my friends with young kids are praying for their 60s to get here...but then I read good posts like yours and realize it might not all be bad, esp. once your kids turn out ok and then have kids of their own.
42 YO widower here. 13, 11, 8. Just hang on man. Once the youngest gets to first grade, life becomes fun again.
Yeah mine are second grade and kindergarten and we're here. No more diapers. They sleep all night. They can entertain each other and themselves. They aren't going to injure themselves in the house.
I can finally enjoy them more as little people instead of just poop machines. It tickles me every time they get a new interest. Right now my second grader is into the world wars so he's been reading (age appropriate) books and then telling me about the U-boats and trenches and tanks and poisonous gas. Like I could have this conversation with another adult, it's actually interesting.
He sounds like me in the '92-'93 school year; I was 9 that fall and got into WWII after discovering a new PC game on my 486 called Wolfenstein3d...great flashback there :)
Congrats, I think you'll make a good mom. You're one of the more reasonable posters here and I think that level-headedness will carry over to your kiddos :) Best wishes!
I'm currently 38, run a few times per week and have two kids (2 and 4). I'm in a really good marriage, we have great jobs, but life feels so incredibly hard lately. It seems like it's largely due to the kids' age, but this has been easily the most challenging period of my life.
We live in a place without any real family support, which could also be exacerbating the pressure too. We purposefully live in a really great place while our whole family is on the east coast.
Wondering if any other parents (with older kids) out there can offer perspective. I hate to complain as a wealthy white dude with no real actual problems, but life seems overwhelming most days.
I also don't drink or do any drugs. Maybe I need to start.
It gets harder with time. Teenage years are much tougher.
Nobody with kids ever actually says this out loud
it’s reality
The nice thing about DINKS is they have money and time...precious commodities. But if the DINKS have relatives with kids, they can have it both ways--and still interact with them but at the end of the day be free.
What a bunch of whining pussies. I have 9 kids, own a business and workout every damn day. Life is great. The Covid shutdowns were the worst part of all of it. By the by, you teach them correctly and the olders take care of the youngers.
You people are ill adjusted and unprepared for basic human functioning..
All the complainers should direct their anger against the meet director, or whoever it was that had Sahlman entered in the 3200 and not at Sahlman or the other racers. Once he became an entrant he basically could do whatever TF he wanted to. That's because the pacing rule only applies to non entrants.
My kids and wife were/are great. Loved it all except maybe when they were newborns and I had to get up and walk them back to sleep (college runner, and my stamina helped there, while my wife slept). One of the best days of my life was when my oldest daughter asked to go on a run with me when she was 10. She ended up being a state track champion. My youngest daughter is slower than slow, but somehow made all-state in cross country. My son became the manager for (it seemed like) every team in the school and devised statistical tables for the teams that were astonishing. Most of the coaches literally (and I know what “literally” means) cried when he graduated.
My oldest daughter today is a high school cross country and track coach, my son owns three businesses, and my youngest daughter is working on her second degree.
I’m sorry for those of you who struggled so hard with your kids, but I just didn’t. I worked 60 and 70 hours per week, but at jobs where my kids could join me much of the time (and they often did), and at jobs that were mostly fun (radio, coaching, teaching). Good luck with your kids. Sometimes it turns out.
All people in same situation as you are equally miserable. This is what having kids is in reality.
Yeah. Your life is over once you have those little brats. Good thing you’re rich, you can always get a younger woman when you get away from your prison you created. Having no kids is wonderful. So free and peaceful. But you’re rich so you can move away at night when they’re asleep or something. Maybe Mexico. Latinas are cute and take care of their men. You can get drugs down there too.
All the complainers should direct their anger against the meet director, or whoever it was that had Sahlman entered in the 3200 and not at Sahlman or the other racers. Once he became an entrant he basically could do whatever TF he wanted to. That's because the pacing rule only applies to non entrants.
How did I get in this thread? I could have sworn I posted in the Aaron Sahlman thread.
I loved those times. They develop so much at that age and they are so cute. I liked the work the work that went into it. It was satisfying.
Now I’m over 50 and they are 17 and 19. They are shaping their own lives now.
Don’t think of this as a time to get through. You’re gonna live your whole life that way if that’s your attitude. Embrace this time and realize they will only be this age once.
This is the best perspective. I'm 42 with a 2 year old, and I wish time would slow down. I'm tired as hell, but would not trade this for the world.
My wife and I have great jobs, no demon kids, live in CA , run all we want, can work overtime if we need extra spending $$$. Travel whenever. Sleep in on weeekends and it’s great!! Weekend plans? Whatever we want. Hahahaha. That’s called freedom, something you poor suckers gave up. Sorry sheep. You guys are all vaxxers probably so that should eventually end your misery. Kids are the devil. No thanks! Hahhahahaha. Suckers.
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